Chapter 5: Inseparable
My senior year started on a low note. The first time I saw Abby I tried to explain things to her. She wouldn’t listen to me at all. She said that no matter what excuse I used I had betrayed her trust. There was no way around that fact. Sadly I couldn’t disagree.
After her birthday Ash and Sara had become best friends, they hung out after school and Ash would often spend evenings and weekends at Sara’s house. Ash tried to have Sara talk to Abby for me, but it only seemed to piss Abby off more. Abby told me I needed to stop trying to turn her sister against her and fight my own battles.
By October she finally let me tell my side of the story. She thought it was bullshit and told me I had, had enough time to come up with something better then that. She said again it didn’t matter, what she couldn’t handle was the fact that I had my cock in another girls mouth. She said there was no circumstance were that was acceptable.
I had told her the real truth, well mostly the whole truth. I left out two parts, first the part where I knew it was someone else and just let it happen. The second part I left out was where I had attacked the girls pussy. I told Abby she had simply rubbed it against my face.
I told her my version of the story then explained that I didn’t know it wasn’t her until she accused me of cheating. I told her that I had thought it was her being kinky. She said that she wouldn’t have done that at a kids party when she had already promised to not be alone with me. That was the last time she talked to me until we were standing in a hospital on Christmas break.
Things having totally fallen apart with Abby, Ash and Sara had become my best friends. Sara, who had just started her freshman year at my highschool, rode shotgun with me everyday after school. We went to the junior high and picked up Ash and Shawna. The we would drive to Abby’s and drop off Sara and Shawna. Abby would often hide in the house when my car pulled up.
Ash and I had the house to ourselves for about two hours every night after school. I would help her with her homework and we sometimes cooked dinner together for our family. It was a fun innocent time. Despite the flirting Ash still had held back from me in some ways. But after her birthday I started talking to her like a grown up not a little kid. This made all the difference. She really opened up to me now. I found that she was really smart, but it was like she didn’t want anyone to know, so she hid her intelligence under a layer of fake innocence. I wondered just how fake her innocence went, I again wondered if she had been my mystery girl.
Without a girlfriend to help me out anymore I had developed a routine where we would come home after school and I would help get Ash started on her homework and I would retire to my room for a while. I would spend about twenty minutes to a half an hour taking care of myself then come back to check on her. Once she had her homework done we would go sit in the livingroom and find something on to watch until my Lilly got home.
By November Ashley’s affections had moved on to her sitting with me on the couch with her head on my shoulder. I was really glad that I had, had that talk with Libby because this could have looked bad under different intentions. If not for that talk I just simply would’ve been uncomfortable with this in general. Knowing it was no big deal I found I enjoyed the closeness of the bond we were building.
I found instead of finding her bratty like I thought she would be when they brought her home, she was really fun to hang around with. She really helped me fill the void that Katie had left in me. She was easy to talk to and I really enjoyed her company. I really didn’t mind her flirting anymore either. I found it fun to actually be adored by some one. I missed having a girlfriend. For the first time ever felt like a real brother to someone.
We started going everywhere together. I would often take Ash and Sara to the mall or the movies. I got both girls into reading books for fun and not just for school. This started us three spending time at book stores and library’s. Sara had told Ash she believed me about Abby and that’s why she didn’t mind spending time around me. She said I was the nicest boy she had ever met. I was touched a little by that sentiment. It was a fun time for the three of us.
I asked Sara one day why her mom let her hang around us so much with out supervision? As rumor had it she was still clamping down on letting Abby out of the house. Sara actually laughed a little. She said her mom didn’t mind her hanging around me as long as Ash was with us. Plus she wasn’t really worried about her sneaking off to meet boys right now because she was already pregnant. I laughed at that, I guess it made sense I just felt bad that Sara’s pregnancy was affecting Abby’s life.
By Christmas vacation I as ready for a break from school. Word had gone around that I had cheated on my girlfriend right behind her back. I stopped even trying to deny it anymore, it was pointless when now one believed me anyway. The fact of the matter was that I had eaten out another girl. I couldn’t rationalize that to myself anymore, yes I was tied up but I had attacked that pussy when she put it in my face.
My reputation was destroyed. No girl wanted to go out with me, not that I had one in mind. I still loved Katie in my heart of hearts but I also still had feelings for Abby. I still had that moment in the library locked into my mind. The moment when we laid our foreheads together and looked each other in the eyes. Some moments are there for life.
Since I was a social leper I had tried unsusessfully to find a date for Homecoming and ended up not going. I had some girl-friends but they were mostly the girlfriends of by buddies. I was disappointed it was my senior year and I was missing out because of a fucked up situation. Instead of Homecoming I ended up taking Ash and Sara to the movies that night just to get out of the house. Ash surprised me by holding my hand all through the movie. I thought it was cute that she trusted me enough to be that comfortable with me.
The week after Thanksgiving dad and Lilly pulled us into the kitchen for a family meeting. I was fearful, I had no idea what we had one wrong as we never had family meetings.
We found out that my parents were going trust us to stay home by ourselves for a few days the first week of Christmas vacation. My Dad had an interview for promotion within the company. To get the promotion he had to go out of state to a corporate function for training. He was taking Lilly with him and they were going to trust us alone in the house from Monday to Friday. I thought it would be awesome and I was looking forward to it. I just wished I had a girlfriend to make use of no parents.
My main focus however was trying to find a date to the winter formal. I didn’t want to miss this dance as I had Homecoming. My friends were all going but they all had dates . As much as I wanted to go I also didn’t want to show up without a date. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or someone to fall in love with, all I needed was a nice girl willing to accompany me and dance for one night. Was that really to much to ask for?
We were sitting around the dinner table a few days prior to the dance when Ash quietly stated that if I wanted she could be my date for the winter formal. I was trying to find the right words to tell her no, without hurting her feelings. It would be more embarrassing to show up with a 13 year old, then no date. As I began to speak up Lilly jumped in.
“That would be so cute Ash!” she cried, “We could go get you a pretty dress tomorrow.” The look on both Lilly’s and Ash’s faces was so priceless that I couldn’t say no.
“What do you say Joey?” asked Dad, “It’s your dance, it’s your choice.”
“I don’t know,” I said really slowly. I could see the sparkle start to leave Ash’s eye. That broke me, “Yes you can be my date to the dance aunty Ashley.” Lilly smiled and Ashley squealed and ran to me hugging me tight.
“Alright, get off me,” I said jokingly. Ash kissed me on the cheek and sat back down at the table.
That night I went to bed feeling like I was the good big brother again. I lay there not really thinking of anything when I suddenly got a major erection. It had been a while since I had gotten a massive erection spontaneously. I figured since it was saying hello I would just go with it. I reached down and started stroking myself as someone knocked at my door.
I felt 12 years old again as I pulled my hand back and said come in. I sat up as the door opened, hoping that the blanket over me would cover it. It was Lilly who came in. I couldn’t remember the last time she had come to see me at night.
“What’s up Lilly?”
“Nothing,” she said looking down at me with a knowing look, “I just wanted to make sure before I bought her the dress that it’s really ok. You weren’t just being nice out of pressure at the time?”
“No, it’s really ok,” I smiled at her, “I wont take that away from her now.”
“I think you’re the sweetest boy in the world. You made her whole month, you know that?” She looked almost smitten.
“Well she is a sweet kid.”
“Yeah, but I know some kids will make fun of you. But what your doing is really good for her. Since our parents died you’ve been really good with her.”
“I’m just doing what you asked me to.”
“What?”
“You told me to be nice to her. I found it’s not that hard.”
“I almost forgot about that talk.” She kissed me on the forehead and started out of the room. When she kissed me I had gotten even harder. I found that odd, my Lilly was attractive in the same way Katie was but I had never thought about her like that before. Maybe it was the fact that I was hard when she walked in my room.
The next day Lilly took Ash out to find a dress for the winter formal. They spent 3 hours at the mall looking for just the perfect dress. When they came home that night they giggled with each other and I was told I wasn’t allowed to see her dress until the dance.
Lilly told me that to Ash this dance was a really big deal. She had never gone to a school dance before, or been on a date. I told Lilly this wasn’t a real date. She agreed but said to Ash it still felt the same and I was to treat her the same as any other girl I took out to a high school dance. I agreed, thinking except the part were we rent a motel room and lose our virginity’s like some of my friends were planing.
At school the day of the formal I told my friends about who I was bringing. The guys laughed and made a couple jokes, they really didn’t mean any harm it was all in fun. The couple of girls thought it was the sweetest thing. They said they couldn’t wait to see Ash all dolled up in her dress.
By dinner that night I was dreading my decision, I was really starting to want to skip the whole thing. But it was to late to back out. I kept having images of people pointing and laughing. I was more worried if people laughed and made jokes, Ash would take them wrong and end up in tears.
The other thing making me dread this event was I realized that Abby might be there with someone else. I hadn’t heard any rumors of her dating anyone but I didn’t want to find out. I didn’t know how I would react to seeing her with another man.
When it was time I put on my suit I got ready and waited in the livingroom for Ash. I hadn’t seen her dress yet, so when she stepped into the room with her hair done up, wearing the most gorgeous dress I was blown away. She looked five years older.
Lilly seemed almost as excited as Ash. She made us stand in the livingroom so she could take a dozen photo’s. Ash blushed posing with me for the pictures when I put my arms around her. I just kept thinking these were going to be blackmail photo’s someday.
I drove us to the dance my heart racing in nervousness. As soon as we arrived I took her hand in mine and walked into the auditorium. To my relief no one gave us much of a look. That made my fears melt away almost completely.
As it turned out Abby was there but she had brought her sister. Sara ran up to Ash and I explaining Abby had come with her because Abby had turned down all the guys that asked her. Sara said that Abby had told her that the reason she turned them all down was so she wouldn’t have to pick one. Sara felt that the real reason was because she wasn’t over me yet. I really didn’t know how to feel about that.
Sara hung out with us for a while but ended up having to sit down. She was now almost six months along and her energy was warring down. I said I was surprised their mom let them out after what was going on. Sara said that she had dropped them off and with her as Abby’s date it was fine. But her mom was going to pick them up as soon as the dance was over.
I took Ash out onto the dance floor and tried to give her the night of her life like I had promised Lilly. We danced every time Sara had to sit down. Ash wanted to be with her friend when she was up and walking. They danced together a few times. I went to Ash a few times and told her she needed to let Sara rest. I could see something was wrong with her. Sara claimed she was fine but I was beginning to worry. I walked toward Abby to say something about it, yet before I could get to her she turned and walked away from me. Abby spent the bulk of her time leaning against the wall glaring at us. I think that she was a little mad about the fact Sara was spending all her time with us.
We were having such a good time that it never occurred to me that the whole thing could turn in an instant. When we first got there that night and the slow dances came on Ash was a little shy and would dance with me with a gap between us. By the end of the evening we were dancing like a couple. She had her arms around my neck and I had pulled her close with my arms around her back.
It was really nice dancing with her, it felt comfortable. I liked the feel of her cheek on mine and the smell of her hair. I fell in love with her in that moment. She may have been 13 but she was one of the most wonderful girls I had ever known. This too was a different kind of love then I had felt before. My heart always belonged to Katie, but now it shared space with Ashley.
It was in that wonderful moment slow dancing with her that things went south. I heard the DJ announce that there were only 4 songs left before the end of the night, he said grab that someone special and make the last songs count. I was already holding Ash tight as that dumb ass song started to play. I instantly went hard pushing against her stomach. Her eyes grew wide when she realized what it was. She had no idea it was the song and not her that had done it to me. She had a large smile on her face and I realized that this was probably the first time she thought she had made a guy go hard for her. I remembered how big of a deal that had been for Katie. I had done the wrong thing on that day. I didn’t know how to handle this today. She snuggled her head against my shoulder.
I broke our hold and walked quickly toward the back door. I went outside, it was warm for December, or I was warm. Walked to the far side of campus to be alone for a minute. I sat down on the stairs leading to the arts building and tried to wish myself down. I hadn’t wished myself down like this in a long time, but I wasn’t going to whip it out on the stairs that night. A couple minutes later I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and it was Ash. She sat down by me and snugged her head up to my shoulder.
“Why did you run away from me, Joe?” She asked softly.
“I………. it’s hard to explain………..” I started.
“Is it because you got a boner?”
“A little bit.”
“It’s ok. I………. felt special,” she said the last two words so quietly that I almost didn’t hear them.
“I don’t know what to say Ash. I shouldn’t be getting hard for you.” I didn’t want to tell her it was the song. She felt special and beautiful I couldn’t take that from her. I knew with the death of her parents and her budding sexuality she was very fragile emotionally. What I did now made all the difference. I know Lilly had told me to go along with things that made her feel nice and beautiful, but I knew she hadn’t meant I should go with it when were talking erections.
I was thinking on things when Ash moved her head from my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek. This broke me out of my chain of thought, without thinking I turned my head to look at her. The second kiss wasn’t as innocent as the first. She kissed my lips and opened her mouth. It had been months since I had kissed some one. Sitting there with a major erection I wasn’t thinking straight. I opened my mouth and trust my tongue forward. She squealed in both surprise and delight and trust hers into my mouth.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into her hard. I couldn’t stop. Her lips were so soft. I couldn’t stop. I had never kissed a girl that young. We sunk into our kissing and the world around us melted away. I really couldn’t stop. I was so into her kiss I hadn’t felt her hand move to my zipper. We kissed for what had to be an entire lifetime before we broke apart.
When she pulled away from me I tilted my head back and breathed in the night air. I was coming back to my senses and I realized only then Ash had pulled me out of my pants and was stroking me.
“What are you doing?” I asked snapping back to reality.
“I’m sorry. I’ve never seen one for real. I just wanted to………” she said tentatively but never let go of my cock. As she stroked me I knew it hadn’t been Ash, who had been my mystery girl. I could tell by the feel of her hand. Ash felt good but inexperienced. She was soft with a touch of hesitance in her motions.
I was losing my train of thought as Ash worked me over. It was Katie all over again. I should have told her to stop but at that moment I couldn’t get anymore words out. Her hand felt so good and it had been months since the mystery girl. I tilted my head back again getting into the feeling. Ash took this as a hint to continue and she started stroking harder. I moaned and she leaned in and kissed me again.
“ I’m so……….. so close……….”I managed. Ash pulled away from our kiss and I felt her mouth on my cock. I really needed to tell her to stop but I couldn’t stop. I needed her to finish then I would tell her how wrong this was. I came in her mouth the moment her tongue touched the tip of my dick. She took it all in until I was done. She pulled off me and spit down the stairs.
“Thank you,” I said panting. I kissed her again showing her as much love as I could ever put into a kiss. I opened my eyes and pulled back leaning my forehead against hers like I had with Abby months ago. I looked into her eyes and I could see the deep blue sparkle shining brighter then I had ever seen it before. I wasn’t just lost in her eyes, I swam in a sea of blue. There was no past only future with her and it started in her eyes.
“That was amazing,” I said to her.
“I did good?” she asked shyly.
“You did very good.” I kissed her lightly.
“I can’t believe I made you that excited.” I could see the need for reinforcement in her expression.
“In that dress with your hair up like that, you were truly the prettiest girl here.” She smiled so bright she was glowing in the dark.
“I love you, Joe.” My heart sank. I loved her very much but I knew my love for her wasn’t like her love for me. I knew she meant she loved me like I love Katie. I didn’t say anything for a long time.
“Ash……. I love you……….very much…….” I stuttered slowly.
“But your in love with some one else.” She finished for me looking down.
“I’m sorry baby girl.” I put my arm around her.
“It’s ok, I already knew that. I know you still love Abby.” Well that was partly true. I did have feelings for Abby too.
“Don’t be sad.” I kissed her again.
“I’m not sad,” she smiled at me and the glow was back in her again, “This has been the most amazing night of my life. Thank you for being honest with me. Some boys wouldn’t have been, right?”
“No they wouldn’t. They would lie and say they were in love with you, to get what they wanted.”
“Thank you,” she smiled bigger.
“I do love you Ash. Your so very special. I can’t imagine living ever again without you.” The words came out with out me thinking. I didn’t know were that statement had come from but I knew I meant every word.
“Thank you,” she said quietly tears in her eyes, smile never leaving her lips.
We drove home that night without another word. She held my free hand to her chest with both of hers, the whole ride home. I walked her up to the door and stopped her before we went inside. I leaned in and gave her one deep kiss. She looked up at me, blue eyes shining. She was glowing so strong in my eyes she lit up the whole street.
The next day started Christmas vacation. Lilly asked all kinds of questions about our night and Ash couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Lilly pulled me aside and thanked me for giving her the biggest smile she had seen on Ash in months. I just shrugged. I knew Lilly would adamantly disapprove of how I had given her that smile.
Monday afternoon I drove the parents to the airport. At the air port dad made sure to double check with me that I had all the phone numbers and info in case of an emergency. He told me he was putting a lot of trust in me and I better not let him down. I told him things would be fine and wished them fun on their trip.
Ash held my hand the whole ride home, we never spoke of what had happened the other night. It seemed like a far off dream. It had happened and brought us closer but we didn’t need to discuss it.
I made a light dinner for us that night. Ash was unusually quiet that night and I didn’t pry as to what was wrong. Instead I tried to make it a fun evening. We played card games and watched a movie. I let her stay up late and eat junk food like any good big brother would.
I went to bed that night thinking about the end of the formal. Remembering the end of the night had me stroking myself hard. The thought of Ash’s lips on my dick made me cum so with a vengeance. I cleaned myself up with an old shirt I kept next to the bed for such times. I was exhausted this orgasm had taken most of my energy out of me. It was after midnight when I heard a soft knock on the door. Only wearing my boxers I pulled the blanked up to my waist.
“What’s up baby girl?” I called to her.
Ashley came into my room. She was wearing a t-shirt and panties. She looked so good and I instantly got hard looking at those young legs. I was happy I had pulled the blanket up.
“I’m scared being alone in my room.” She said more timidly then I had ever heard her talk before.
“Why are you scared tonight? You sleep alone every night.”
“Yeah, but my sister and your dad are always home,” she said quietly. I understood what was in her tone, the last time she was in a situation where the parents left for a few days they never came back.
“Come here sweetheart,” I said to her and lifted up the covers. She looked at me and her eyes went big.
“Sorry,” I told her.
“No it’s ok,” she giggled as she climbed in bed with me. She laid down with her back to me and pushed herself up as tight as she could. I put my arm around her, wishing dick would go soft.
“That’s poking me in the back,” she said and began giggling hard.
“I can’t help it. Unless I roll over.”
“NO! Please keep your arm around me.”
“Ok then you’ll just have to live with me poking you.” She reached behind her grabbed me and shifted me into another position.
“There, that’s better,” she giggled uncontrollably now.
“For you maybe but now it will never go down.” I said it without thinking, I really didn’t mean it. She reached back and slipped her hand inside my boxers and began to stroke me.
“Does this help?” she asked still giggling. I moaned in response. I should have told her to stop again, but her little hand felt so good. It wasn’t like we hadn’t done this before so what was the big deal? I was justifying it to myself but I really wanted this. What we were doing seemed so naughty that I didn’t last long.
“I’m gonna……………… cum…………” I called out after a couple minutes. She spun around and pulled the waistband to my boxers down and took me into her mouth just as I started cuming. She took it all and sat straight up. She spun her head around looking almost panicky.
“Trash can…………” I managed and pointed by the bed. She moved in a flash and spit two or three times into the trash.
“I didn’t want a mess.”
“It’s fine. I love it when you do that.”
“Really?” she smiled.
“Yes now come here.” I kissed her deeply and laid her down next to me again. She rolled over with her back to me again. I put my arm around her holding her tight.
“Now that’s better, I can sleep now.” she giggled hysterically at this.
“You think your cute?” I asked.
“I know you think I’m cute.”
“I think your, a brat,” I said with a smile. She rolled over and started kissing me again. It started getting heavy and I could feel her heart beating against mine. I loved the feel of her chest on mine. She hadn’t developed a whole lot yet but it felt nice.
She pulled away from me and grabbed the bottom of her shirt. She pulled it off only wearing a sport bra and panties. I wanted so badly to see her naked but I stopped her as she pulled on her bra.
“Why…..”she asked timidly thinking I was rejecting her. It took all of my will power to put things to a stop. I wanted so badly to take her virginity in that moment. I would give her mine and take hers. Two things stopped me. First I still held on to the hope that I would make love the first time to Katie. I loved Ash very much but I knew I wasn’t in love with her. It was more like a cross between a big brother and a star crossed lover.
The second reason I stopped is the reason I gave her. I told her we had taken things too far already. I said that I should have stopped her the other night when she began stroking me. She was like my little sister and I loved her to much to hurt her.
“How would you hurt me?” she asked softly.
“I truly believe that the first time you make love it should be with some one who is in love with you. Not just someone who loves you like a brother.”
“Playing around wont hurt me.” she said almost like it was a question.
“I’m not rejecting you Ash, I’m telling you, I find you so adorable and so wonderful, if we do more then what we have, I wont be able to control myself.”
“I understand,” she didn’t put her shirt back on but she laid down with her back to me again. This time I somehow managed not to be overly excited as I put my arm around her almost naked body and held her to me. I could feel her skin on my bare chest and feel her breathing. It didn’t take long before I drifted off to sleep.
Tuesday happened without incident. Ash and I got up and took our showers, meeting in the kitchen for breakfast. She wanted to cook something special for me. I told her not to make a big deal but he wouldn’t listen. She cooked eggs, pancakes and sausage. Breakfast was fun as we ate and joked.
We spent the better part of the day sitting on the couch watching movies. I let her pick the movies which made her happy. She put the first one in and snuggled up next to me. After the first movie we went to the kitchen and made sandwiches. Ash put in a second movie and we ate our sandwiches in the livingroom. After she ate she leaned against me and snuggled some more.
I woke up sometime later having fallen asleep during the chick flick Ash was watching. She lay with my head on my shoulder, she had slipped her hand up my shirt and was rubbing my chest in her sleep.
I let her sleep and turned off the VCR. I flipped channels for a while but couldn’t find something to watch. Ash finally woke from her nap around dinner time. We ate light, just having salads. After dinner she put in another movie and curled up with me.
After two movies we decided it was time for bed. We went to our separate rooms, I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed. I was thinking about Ash again. She was such a little angel and I felt really bad that I had screwed around with her. As guilty as I felt the thought of it still made me horny. I reached down and started stroking myself thinking of her. When I was close to cuming I grabbed the old shirt off the floor and shot a major blast into it. I was just dropping the shirt back to the floor when Ash knocked on my door.
“Come in, sweety.” Ash walked in only wearing a sport bra and a small pair of panties. My breath caught in my throat. For 13 she was so damn sexy.
“Can I………” she started and I lifted the covers up so she could climb into my bed.
“Thank you!” she squealed and jumped in bed. I managed to maintain myself as she wiggled right up to me as she had the night before. I put my arm around her and we fell to sleep.
Wednesday is when things completely changed between us. I realize that it was only a matter of time before this would’ve happened but, I still didn’t see it coming at the time.
We got up and showered and met for breakfast in the kitchen again. We had cereal and sat down in the livingroom for another day of movies and cuddling. We had just settled into another chick flick when the phone rang.
“I’ll get it,” Ash said jumping up and running to the phone. I couldn’t hear her conversation but a couple minutes later I could hear her crying. I walked up behind her and put my hand on her shoulder.
“Ash?” I questioned. She turned her head and gave me a questionable look, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Ok, I’ll talk to Joey. I’m sure we be there.” She hung up the phone and sat down on the floor.
“Ash, what?” She couldn’t stop crying. It took her ten minutes to finally say a few words.
“It’s Sara………..” She said that it was Abby on the phone. She explained that Sara was in the hospital. That was all she managed to say. It was enough I grabbed my keys and shoes. Ash met me at the door with our jackets and we ran to the car.
We got there and I put my arm around Abby. I was really surprised that she let me do it. I asked her what happened, she took my hand and led me down the hall. The trouble had started the night of the winter formal.
“Sara disappeared for a while and I went to look for her. When I found her she was on the ground near the arts building.” I swallowed hard. If Sara had been out at the arts building, that meant she could’ve seen Ash and I.
“When I found her she was holding her stomach and crying,” Abby continued, “She wouldn’t tell me what had happened to make her start crying. All she would say is that she saw something. She said she had been running away when she had fallen over.” I felt really bad now. She had seen us. I didn’t realize Sara had felt so strongly as to be in tears over me and Ash.
“Sara had landed on her stomach and skinned her knee. When I picked her up she said that she hurt really bad where she had landed on her stomach.” Abby’s tears came heavier.
“I figured it was from the fall and she would be ok tomorrow. I took her home and put her to bed. The next morning I went to check on her but she wouldn’t wake up. I went to get mom and dad they couldn’t get her up either.” Abby was fully sobbing now. I hugged her.
“Don’t!” she said pulling away from me, “We came here Saturday afternoon and we haven’t gone home.”
“How come you didn’t call sooner? You know the girls are best friends.”
“We thought we wouldn’t call until things got better. But this morning they told us that there was nothing left for them to do. She not going to make it.”
“What did they say happened?” I asked tearing up now too. Sara was a cool kid. I didn’t want to lose her.
“I don’t have all the technical details. The doctors talked to mom and dad. All they really told us was it was some kind of complication with the pregnancy. They did some kind of emergency surgery on Saturday. I guess it she didn’t pull through like they hoped. All that matters is that my little sister is going to…… to………”
“You don’t have to say the word,” I grabbed her and held her to me. I wouldn’t let her push me away again. Luckily she didn’t try again. We held each other and she cried into my shoulder. Ash came out of the room and I put my arm around her too. Ash cried on my other shoulder. I found out later as Abby was telling me what had happened Sara’s mom had sat Ash down and explained things to her.
We stayed at the hospital all day Wednesday through early Thursday morning. I tried to get Ash to leave for just a little while to get some air and eat something. She wouldn’t budge, she said that no matter what she was going to be there for her best friend until the end. I admired her loyalty and heart. If I hadn’t already loved her I would have fallen then. It only made me love her more to see her love for her friend.
I left the room after midnight going outside. I needed air myself and I thought I would give the family a little space. There were a number of family members there with Sara. Abby walked outside an hour later and spotted me. It looked like she was trying to decide what to do before she finally walked over to me. She pulled my arm around her and laid her head on my shoulder.
“This doesn’t mean anything’s changed,” She told me, “I just really need to be held.”
“It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about us anymore,” I told her honestly, “I just want to be here for you and Sara right now.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly as if it almost bothered her to say those two words to me, “As much as I hate you, Sara really adored you. As much as I don’t want to admit it, you were always good to her.”
“Can we have a truce on the anger?” I asked, “I told you I’m done with the “Us” stuff. Can we try to just be nice to each other?”
“Your right. It’s been long enough,” She started crying, “Sara loved you the least I can do is be nice to you for her.”
We didn’t speak anymore we just sat on the bench holding each other.
Sara never woke up, Ash sat holding her hand until the end. I was completely lost in guilt. I was to young at the time to understand all the medical reasons for what happened, but it was explained that this would have happened whether she fell or not. I remember thinking something was wrong with her at the dance. I had tried to tell Abby about it.
I hated that her last moments had been seeing Ash and me together. I didn’t know Sara liked me or Ash for that matter in a way that would upset her. I still felt like it as all my fault.
Sara passed away Thursday morning. Abby had just returned to the room and I sat on a bench outside the door. The girls held each other and cried. I left them there and walked down stairs to the hospital church. I’m not at all what you would call religious but I walked into the church that morning and had a long talk with god. I asked him how he could do this to such a little angel. I didn’t get an answer.
I took Ash out to breakfast before going home Thursday. We sat quietly eating pancakes. She cried the whole time, tears running down her angelic face. It broke my heart that their was nothing I could do to make the pain stop for her. Ash fell asleep on the ride home. I picked her up like a small child and carried her into the house laying her down on her bed. I kissed her forehead and closed her door. I went and laid down on the couch drifting off to sleep myself.
I awoke in the evening, Ash was lying on top of me. At some point she had joined me on the couch pulling a blanket over us. I was just happy to look at her sweet face with out tears filling her eyes. I gazed at her for a while until her eye opened. She looked at me and gave me a half smile. I leaned over and kissed her gently to show her things were going to be ok.
We got up and I started to make dinner. I warmed a bunch of left overs that needed to be eaten before they went bad. We ate with out saying much. I didn’t know how to feel right now. I felt bad for Ash, losing someone else she really cared about. I felt guilty for what we did to Sara. I never told Ash that Sara had seen us that night. I didn’t want her to have the same guilt over it that I did. I felt bad for everything that had gone on this year for Ash it seemed like one tragedy after another. After dinner we went back to the living room and cuddled on the couch watching tv.
We decided to go to bed early tonight. I stripped down to my boxers as I did every day. I was tired more emotionally then physically. I lay there waiting for the knock on the door that finally came an hour later.
“Come in.” I called to her. I held up the covers before she even entered the room. She slipped in and wiggled up to me. I slipped my arm around her. Tears welled up in her eyes again.
“Please don’t cry,” I whispered to her.
“I can’t stop. She was barley older then me.” I pulled her tighter.
“I keep thinking if it were me, there are so many things I would never have done yet. Things I would be missing out on.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Love, and making love,” She rolled over facing me, “I don’t want to die without ever making love.” She kissed me.
I pulled out of this kiss. I pressed my forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. I knew this moment was really big for her and how I handled it could hurt her. I knew enough about girls to know when they got curious about sex, they could potentially do something that could get them physically hurt as emotionally. Just like Sara had. Here she was in my bed asking me to make love to her. As I said earlier I should have seen this coming long before now. I made the decision right there looking into those eyes. I knew I couldn’t say no to her but I had to.
“Ash I love you. Very, very much,” I kissed her softly, “I’m still technically a virgin too.”
“Really?” she asked genuinely surprised, “You never told me that in all the times we talked about sex stuff. I thought you and Abby…….I thought that’s why she got so mad when she thought you cheated on her.”
“No. That’s not why she was so mad. To prove to her mom that we weren’t having sex, she let the doctor examine her in an extremely personal way. She only did it to because she loved me and didn’t want her mom to stop us from seeing each other. She put a lot of trust in me, to her I betrayed that trust.”
“I get it,” she blushed, “I accidently broke mine already. But I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s ok,” I told her. I knew that happened with a lot of girls.
“I was just thinking that if were both virgins…………..we……… could………..help……..each other………. not be………” She said pausing between words.
“Ash, I can’t.” I could see the tears form in her eyes. She rolled around not facing me anymore
“I’m sorry I just thought you………… would for me. Because you love me and ……” Her tears were rolling down her cheeks again, “I know your not in love with me but I don’t think I will ever meet someone who treats me with as much love as you give me………. and I love you so much.” My heart was breaking as she cried. This poor girl had been through so much this year. Her parents, her old life, and her new best friend all gone.
“Ash, I don’t feel right about taking your virginity. I will promise you two things right now.” She turned her head and looked at me.
“I want you to wait until you’re a little older. If you still feel for me like you do right now in 3 years, I’ll show you how much I love you.”
“Three years!” She exclaimed, “That’s so long to wait.”
“Let me finish,” I told her, “On your 16th birthday if you still feel like you do now I will make love to you. I want you to really make sure this is what you want. This has been a hard year for both of us. I’ve gone through a number of things I haven’t told you about as well as everything else.”
“Ok, I guess I can wait for you. You’ll see my love wont change. It’s just that right now I’m so…….. I don’t know. I just need to be loved.”
“That brings me to my second promise, I made a decision tonight,” I paused taking a breath, here it was, “I can’t resist you for 3 years. I love you so deeply like a brother, but I’m also wildly attracted to you.”
“So I’m confused,” she said quietly, “Are we going to………?”
“I’ve decided that I’m willing to let you have me in every other way except intercourse if that’s what you want.”
“I want. If we can be with each other that way I can wait 3 years.” She turned to me again smiling.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I kissed her hard, she through her tongue in my mouth and I returned mine to hers. It was like we were melting into each other. I pulled her so tight to me I thought I would crack her in half. This just fueled her passion. I pulled away from her face bitting her lower lip and pulling it with me, she moaned. I moved to her neck, kissing and licking passionately. She moaned and squealed with pleasure. I gently moved her to a sitting position lowering my hands to the bottom of her shirt.
I moved off her neck only long enough to slide her shirt up her body and off her. I began running my hands over her breasts though her bra. She moaned wrapping her arms around my neck. I leaned back again long enough to remove her bra. I gazed just for a moment at her naked breasts. She had a full b-cup already. I returned my kissing to her chest.
I could feel her heart beating rapidly under my lips as I kissed her chest and shoulders. She needed to feel not just loved, but alive tonight. I had always thought making love on the day a loved one died wasn’t a sign of disrespect. It was a way of two loved ones to celebrate life. I actually pulled that thought out of a book I read once, but I thought it was really true.
As I kissed Ash I was trying to show her that love she so desperately needed today. I took my time kissing her so she could feel every bit of it, her heart beat, breathing, and physical pleasure.
I had never once felt like this with Abby. I loved her in a way but as I’ve said before it wasn’t like I loved Katie. Tonight I realized I never truly loved Abby. I had never before felt the feelings of love I felt for the beautiful goddess under me now. I felt sadden by that realization. It was only at that moment I finally gave her up. Abby was a great and wonderful girl but she wasn’t Katie or Ashley.
I finally gave Ash what she was looking for as I moved lower and kissed her breasts. I was holding the right one gently squeezing her nipple when I brought my lips to her left nipple. Under me her body seized up and she arched her back. She cried out as her body shook.
“Thank you,” She moaned, “I thought I’d had an orgasm before, but that was my first real one.” She took both of her hands and placed them on the sides of my head pulling me up to her face. I kissed her again.
“That was the best moment of my life,” she breathed out the words though kisses.
“Were not done,” I told her and moved back down her body.
“I don’t know if I can take more tonight, that was intense.”
“Sssshhh.” I said returning to kiss her right breast this time. I hadn’t had enough of her yet. I couldn’t get enough tonight. I just prayed that I had the will power to stop myself from taking her virginity when the time came.
I opened my mouth and took her nipple inside, I sucked on it using my teeth very slightly to clamp down on it. She cried out again. While sucking her breasts I slid my hand up her leg and began rubbing her pussy through her panties.
“Oh go, oh, oh, oh god, oh god,” she cried out. I gently ran my hands across the sides of her hips slowly removing her panties. Once pulled down her legs to her knees I slid two fingers inside her. Her body began to buck slightly.
“Jesus fucking god,” she cried out. I paused for a moment, I had never heard her utter a single swear before. I drove my fingers deeper, driving her into a thrusting frenzy.
I started moving down the bed kissing her sexy flat stomach. This was driving her wild with anticipation. She was thrusting so hard against my fingers I didn’t need to move them myself I just let her work her own pleasure. I slowed my kissing of her body just past her belly button. I moved really slow kissing this area for a long time.
I had never gone this slow with any girl before. I had of course done this, but never this gently and passionately. With Katie it was always hurried because we both knew we couldn’t be together. I also didn’t have this level of self control a year and a half ago with her. I would have came at least twice by now back then.
With Abby things had always been more animalistic. I could have slowed down like this and savored every inch of her but she wouldn’t have wanted it that way. She always wanted things raw, fast and hard. Not to mention in public as much as possible.
I finally moved lower removing my fingers and letting my tongue taste the first sweet juices flowing out of her. I once wrote that he mystery girls pussy had been the sweetest pussy ever. It didn’t compare to Ash. Hers was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted.
The moment I placed my tongue on her clit she tensed up again, arching her back higher this time. Her orgasm was so strong she squirted sightly right on my face. For and instant I thought I finally knew how Katie had felt all the times I had cum on her.
“JESUS GOD FUUUUUUUUUUUKING LORD!” She yelled out. Her juices were running down my face. She tasted so wonderful I thrust my tongue deep inside her, drilling in as far as it would go. She hadn’t come down from her orgasm yet and I was digging inside her seeking more and more of that sweet taste.
“OOOOOOOOHHHH GOD!” She screamed this time as her 3rd orgasm took her over. Her hips were bucking on my face, her hands reached down grabbing the back of my head as she squirted more on my face.
“Ok,” She panted, “Enough. I cant take anymore.” I slid up to her face and kissed her. I thought for a minute she would be grossed out kissing me with her juices on my face, but she kissed me hard digging her tongue into my mouth.
“Did I do good?” I asked with a smile, thinking back the winter formal.
“You did good,” she grinned ear to ear, “I think I’m a puddle of goo now.” I kissed her again melting into her lips.
We kissed for a few minutes when I felt a hand slide into my boxers.
“You don’t have to do that,” I told her, “Tonight was about you.”
“Shhhh,” she grinned, “Were not done yet.” I laid on my back and closed my eyes. She moved down on the bed and removed my boxers. I was expecting a hand job with her sucking out my cum like she had done the past two times, instead as soon as my boxers were off I felt warm and wet across my cock. I looked down to see her sweet angelic face sucking me. It felt awesome.
I closed my eyes again and drifted off in the feeling. This was the first time she had really given me a full blowjob. It was one of the best of my life. As much as I hated to admit it. But when Katie had done it I was younger and less experienced so it had never lasted that long. With Abby she didn’t put in the loving care that Ash was doing. This was amazing.
“Ash, get ready baby,” I told her. She lifted her eye to meet my gaze and sucked harder. That pushed me over. I came so much cum into her mouth. She took all of it looking me in the eyes and swallowed.
I was surprised she hadn’t done that in the past. She had let me finish in her mouth then spit.
“Wow, that was incredible!” I cried out.
“Your still up,” she said holding my cock.
“It’s such a turn on when a beautiful girl swallows,” I told her. To me that was a true statement. For some reason I registered the swallowing as a true act of love and hence was a turn on for me.
“But neither one of us can sleep if your still hard,” she giggle and put her mouth back down on me.
“Oh god,” I moaned out, “You don’t have to”
“You gave me 3,” she said smiling going back to work.
I was done after two that night. After all the effort we had both put into giving each other pleasure we both were completely exhausted. When I was done the second time she scooted herself up the bed into my arms. I held her there as we lay naked. I kissed the back of her neck as we drifted off to sleep.

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