My heart dropped into my stomach when I heard my father call my name from my window. Mike quickly released me but stayed standing in front of me, effectively blocking the lower half of my body from my father’s view so I could quickly close up my shorts. My shirt was still in my room; there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about that. Fearfully, I looked at my father.

His blue eyes were looking at me sternly, his lips tightly closed. I knew I was caught but I was more afraid that my mother was behind him than anything else. My father was always a softie where I was concerned but my mother…she would KILL me. “Your mother is upstairs sleeping,” he told me, reading correctly my worst dread and something in my chest loosened a bit although I knew I wasn’t quite out of the woods yet. He turned his gaze on Mike and his eyes went even colder as he looked him over; I’m sure he was figuring as I had that this was no teen boy with his very young daughter. I cringed even lower.

“Say good bye to your…FRIEND.” my father said coldly. “You won’t be seeing him again.” Mike took the hint and got the hell out of there, leaving me standing beneath my own window. My father stared down at me, the oddest light in his eyes as he took in my current state of undress. “I’d tell you to come in the front door but your mother will surely hear us and wonder what’s going on…I’m guessing you’d rather keep this between us?” I nodded shamefully and reached up to him. It took some doing but my father is almost as tall as Mike, and certainly at 43 he was stronger. He lifted me up and I scurried into the window, coming to stand in front of him.

My father was a handsome, redheaded man who was usually smiling and easygoing. He looked down at me now and his disappointment was crushing me, I could tell he was looking at me differently already. He sighed, his blue eyes regretful, and still…something else. “I’m worried about what I saw out there…I think I should wake your mother.”

I burst into tears. “Please, PLEASE don’t tell her, I didn’t even do anything, really” His eyebrow raised at that, he swept his glance down my body. “Honest, we were just kissing!!” I looked up at him, blue eyes huge, sincere, and frightened. Never mind that it wasn’t exactly the truth.

“Don’t bullshit me Tara, you don’t even have a shirt on! ” My father spoke sharply and then he shocked me by taking hold of the front of my bikini between his thumb and forefinger, his finger slipping between my tits to do it, tugging lightly on the front of it before quickly letting go. “Your top is barely on!”

I was crying, ashamed, but not ready to admit to anything. “it’s a bikini top Dad this kind always slips you always have to adjust it!” I looked at him sullenly. “I didnt even do anything…”

He shook his head, disgusted. “I know you’re lying, Tara. I can’t even trust you now, I thought I could ALWAYS trust you. I’m going to wake your mother and she can deal with you…” He started to turn away, and opened my door to leave.

“Wait, Dad, Daddy, please, please don’t wake her, please don’t, please” I tugged on his arm and he stared down at me, looking mezmorized, his eyes taking in my tearful face, my bedraggled clothes. “Please, can’t you just deal with me, please, you said we’d keep it between us, I promise I wont see him again or do it again, please, please!”

Most kids were scared of their father, but I was terrified of my mother. I knew exactly what an Irish Catholic woman would make of this situation. It would involve me, her, and a belt, and then I’d be sent away until school started. But my father took pity on me, so I thought then, and he shut…and locked…the door.

“All right we’ll do it your way,” he told me. “But since I can’t believe a word out of your lying mouth, I’ll have to use other ways to find out exactly what you let that boy…that MAN” …here he looked at me angrily, and I lowered my eyes shamefacedly to the floor…”do to you. Come here.”

He made me stand in front of my bed. He came to stand in front of me. The first thing he wanted me to do was breathe on him, and it made me glad I’d brushed my teeth after the beer, but I worried also because Mike’s breath had still reeked of the stuff when we kissed. “I can’t tell if you’ve been drinking…” my father murmurred quietly and then I jumped when I felt his tongue slide over my lips…I jerked away from him and he grabbed my shoulders and gave me a hard shake. “You’ll let me check what that bastard did to you or you go wake your mother RIGHT NOW. Your choice!”

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I knew this was wrong, because it sure felt that way, but…he was my Dad. I would just deal with it. It was my own fault for getting myself in this mess.

He took my silence for the agreement that it was, and started lifting my hair, looking for marks on my neck…I prayed that there weren’t any but he looked stern and pronounced “looks red to me…” he circled me, looking at the back of my neck…for a moment I froze as he pressed against me and I felt…something…on my bottom. His hand?? He took a deep breath of my scent and stepped around me again before I could puzzle it out. “Take off your bikini top.” he told me quietly, and he didn’t really sound stern anymore, and his eyes stared at my chest in a way that reminded me of Mike’s earlier. I opened my mouth and stared pleadingly at him, but I knew already there was nothing to say. Silent tears slid down my cheeks as I reached back and unclasped the bikini top, pulling it off with shaking little fingers.

I stared at the wall, unable to look at him while his hands slid over my tits, covering them completely as he pretended to look for more “redness”. My nipples betrayed me by getting hard for him and then he undid my shorts and pushed them to my ankles. By this time I was shaking, and it made it hard to stand. He told me to lie down on the bed, and I did. He stood staring down at me and I refused to look back until I felt his hands tugging at my last scrap of decency, the bottoms of my bikini.

Scared, I looked him full in the face, protesting, “Dad-?!”

“Shhhh” he hushed me like I was still a baby, slowly sliding them down my long curvy legs that I was so proud of….”Daddy has to check you…make sure you stayed a good girl…make sure you’re intact” His voice was dreamy and weird, especially since I hardly EVER called him Daddy anymore…he was talking to me like I was five again while looking at me like I was grown…and HIS.

I knew what he meant by intact, that I had a hymen down there. I’d never had anything inside me before so I figured it had to be there. I’d never been fingered and it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do it to myself because I fully believed that only boys touched themselves. When I was horny I just layed there rubbing my stomach and thighs, feeling unfulfilled and not knowing why. I didn’t even know what a clit was!

Anyway, I didn’t know why he thought I’d been having sex when clearly my shorts and bottoms were still on, and I didn’t know there were other ways to break your hymen. Rather than argue I laid tense and wary while he lovingly slid my unyielding slim thighs apart. Shamefully I realized part of me had always wanted to know what it would feel like when something went into me and that part was excited to find out now. I heard him whisper “oh God…” under his breath when his hand touched me at last, feeling my light little fuzz, cupping me there, sliding a finger up and down between my wet slit, something that felt very good despite myself and i remained very still as he pushed a finger inside me.

It hurt!!! oh man it hurt a lot what the hell was that, it didn’t feel good AT ALL, and I was instantly not horny, pushing at him, trying to sit up. He held me down firmly, continuing to slide his finger as much as it would go before sighing in relief and sliding back out. I opened my eyes in time to catch him licking the finger clean. “Okay…” he said, reaching down and stroking my face gently. “Okay, you’re still intact, still my little girl…”

For some reason that made it all worse and I started crying hard again. He climbed onto the bed and gathered my naked body against his so I felt his soft cotton pj pants and bare chest on my skin, crooning to me like a child, “Did that hurt you? I’m sorry…I know, I know, that hurts you here…” he slid his hand obscenely between my legs, rubbing again as if to soothe what he’d done “my poor little girl…let Daddy help”

Before I could even guess what he was doing he’d moved down the bed and was sitting between my legs, spreading them as wide as they’d go…I had time to whimper ‘No’ when he started licking me…and wow…I didn’t know what my clit was or where it was but my Dad did, and his tongue put it to use….it was the best thing I’d ever felt….I tried not to like it but it was hard to remember I wanted to stop. My legs, which had been straining against his hands to close, fell open of their own accord. Realizing this, my Dad sent his hands sliding slowly up my sweaty, sensitive inner thighs, over my flat tummy, taking hold of my young tits…I moaned and shut my eyes, because he was looking up at me, watching my face, and I didn’t want to think about who was making me feel this way. Oh, but his thick strong tongue was expertly sliding over my clit, turning it back and forth, sliding around in circles, and I gasped and clutched at the pink sheets my mother’d bought me only the previous weekend. I started getting…I didn’t know…hotter all over….something so amazing was building up inside me, making my nipples hurt and want to be touched…then his tongue stopped and I cried out in protest, opening glazed blue eyes to look at him.

He ran a finger lightly and quickly back and forth over my clit, enough to keep the feeling going so I couldn’t come to my senses…he slid up my body and pressed his heavy weight on me, looking down as he humped agonizingly slowly against my soaking wet pussy. I knew that was his hard dick that I felt, pushing up and down my slit, only his pj bottoms separating us. This was wrong, this was fucked up, but I felt like I’d lost my mind because I didn’t want him to stop. I looked away but he grabbed my face and made me look at him. “You like this. You like what Daddys doing….” I whimpered No and closed my eyes in shame but he kept talking. “Just say don’t stop….say don’t stop Daddy…and i promise I’ll make you feel better than anything you’ve ever felt…” Here he lowered his head, licking sucking and lightly biting at my hard sensitive nipples, and was that me, arching my back to meet him? His cock roughly dragged back and forth over my clit til I could barely breathe from how good my body felt. “cmon Baby say it, nobodyll ever know i did this for you, just once, say Daddy don’t stop”

I didn’t open my eyes….I couldn’t say his name because if I admitted what was going on I knew I would end the good feelings…I whispered “Don’t stop” in the tiniest voice that didn’t sound like me…but he groaned loudly, spasming against me, rubbing so hard that it hurt but my body was in a place where some pain could feel good Then he pushed his face between my legs once more and was merciless with his expert tongue. It didn’t take long before a piercing sweetness seemed to burst through me causing me to arch my back again, making animalistic sounds, pushing my small pussy against my father’s mouth.

Released at last I felt boneless and weightless, but the good feelings in my body could not stop the harsh reality from crashing down in my mind. What he’d done….what I’d LET him do, WANTED him to do…my father…

He stood up and I stared dumbly at him, noting the wet spot on the front of his pj pantswatching him wipe suggestively at his wet chin. I looked away, disgusted, not wanting to know. “Now, Tara, dont feel bad…” he gently pulled the sheet up over me and I let him, glad to hide my naked body from view at last “you’re not a bad girl for kissing that boy, but you just have to realize when to say no.” Was he crazy?? He spoke as if he hadn’t just…I felt sick, except I wanted so badly to pretend away this last part of my life, too. “I know you’re a good girl at heart and your mother doesn’t have to know.” He leaned down and gave me a fatherly kiss on my sweaty forehead, and I wanted to vomit when I smelled myself on his lips. “Take a shower and wash that dirty boy off your body,” he commanded, and he left the room without looking back at me.

I realized this was going to be the game. We were going to act like nothing had happened after Mike left. I’d been given a stern talking to, and then…and then I’d taken a shower and gone to bed. Yes, I could live with that.

And for a while, my Dad let me pretend.

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