I’ve been asked dozens of times by close friends, usually after a few drinks… “What is it really like being able to be with so many women?” Or… “How can you stand seeing Ash fuck so many men without wanting to kill them!?!

First of all… There is a huge difference between the fantasy of having so many partners and the reality. Fantasies are great. They bring a special type of eroticism into your life. But in the reality of my experience with swinging sex, I’ve found it to be “cleaner,” more wholesome, more normal feeling than I expected, definitely less complicated or volatile than traditional marriage sex and believe it or not… just plain easy fun and peaceful. I’ve heard a number of guys say sex at our club was even a bit disappointing after their first month or two because it all seemed too legal, too normal and lacking that intense secretive dark hot feeling they’ve enjoyed most of their lives dreaming about such sex.

However… After those initial reactions, a surprisingly new deeper appreciation for free sex almost always comes to the forefront. It wasn’t long before I found myself squarely in the middle of just that…the utter reality of true sexual freedom. This was a strange place for such a proponent of monogamy as I was, where having sex with someone other than your wife was approved and even encouraged by her, where there were literally no secrets between the two of you, where the two of you loved hearing about each other’s sexual exploits, and where both of you were surrounded by men and women who simply loved playing around using their new found freedom too. Here’s maybe the most important game changing thing we learned…

Ash and I came to realize in sharing our eroticism together, it mattered little what or who the stimulus was for either of us. What mattered is that we enjoyed sharing the experiences, basking in the eroticism together, as much and often more than the actual events.

That conclusion was common among the group of swingers we hung with and it seemed to bond us all together as people who understood and appreciated guilt free and jealousy free sex like the general public never would or could. Once you and your partner get to that place, you will have changed and no longer be able to look at the world the same way. You will see all the sexual games and manipulations going on around you at work, at social clubs and even at church. You will see how much sex permeates most everything we do whether we will admit it or not. Most of what you see will feel juvenile at best and corrupt at worst. That change in perspective is much like what you go through after attending a nude beach for an extended period of time, where you loose your body consciousness and you become less judgmental of body types.

Ash and I felt that way after going to our nude beach. We saw so many older people, who were often pretty fat, kinda wrinkly, but emerged in our perspectives as beautiful, wonderfully tanned and clearly at peace with their bodies. Our definition of beauty changed and we started seeing beauty where we couldn’t before. From then on we began noticing how often “straight” people commented and complained about their bodies and appearances. It became annoying hearing them obsessing about being fat, wrinkled, or even just struggling through their bad hair days.

Hearing straight people talk about sex was much the same way. We started to notice how often their commentary on sex was full of complaints, frustrations, jealousies, suspicions or schemes. Ash and I both were grateful we were beyond all that and now just wanted the “honest up front” sex with enlightened partners. Give us a good swing club and all the interesting people you get to meet there.

For instance let me tell you about one such partner, Sally, and the changes she went through.

Sally was literally the classic “biker babe.” She came to the club on a Harley with Jon her long term boyfriend. Jon was the classic biker guy, literally an expert mechanic at the local Harley dealership, sporting a ponytail, about 5’9″ 240 lbs, mostly muscle, plus the obligatory beer gut. He soon made it clear to us he didn’t really appreciate or respect Sally.

Jon was there to get laid by new women. He had laser eyes for Ash the moment he saw her and quickly pulled her out on the dance floor. Boy could he dance! Ash was being twirled and dipped and he had her flying all over the floor. She had little choice in the matter. That didn’t go unnoticed by Sally.

Sally was about 5’7″, maybe 150-160 lbs… with a stunning, quite unbelievable, all natural, 42″ double D set of boobs! Her slim waist, long dirty blonde hair and pretty smile complimented it all.

Sally was just abandoned by Jon and quickly became pissed… too pissed notice me and I definitely was not her type. I was more the button down collar, short hair, intellectual type guy that had never been part of her sexual repertoire. (And besides, my bike was a BSA.) However, I WAS intrigued watching the drama as it was starting to go down on the dance floor.

Sally eventually responded by grabbing guys and doing her “dirty dancing” thing with them. Let me tell ya… When a pretty woman really knows how to use her assets to tease a guy, it is a mesmerizing sight to watch. Legs between legs. Heads between boobs. Belts provocatively removed. Zippers unzipped. Pants dropped to the dance floor. Cocks teasingly stroked or sucked. All in time to the music! Damn it was hot to watch. Sally was giving lots of women new ideas on how to play around on that floor. And she teased some of the girls too! Yea, sexy Sally was very bisexual. The whole scene was happening with her substantial tantalizing boobs looking like they would fall out any minute. We all wanted that to happen as boobs were clearly a big part of Sally’s charm and impossible to not gawk at! If you were on the dance floor that night you weren’t safe. Nor were the women. Sally made sure of that! …and the other women… Oh they tried to follow her lead. It was a bunch of fun. You would’ve had to have been there to appreciate how well Sally pulled all that off. Sexy women always got a free pass to act outrageous but Sally… Well she set the standard from then on. Guys at the railing surrounding the dance floor were simply drooling all over themselves!

Now, Sally was having fun but basically she was just hoping her scene would make Jon jealous. He wasn’t buying it and might have been the only guy there unaffected by her antics… that included me. Fuck Jon! Sally was sexy as hell.

To be fair, the two of them had obviously been to clubs many times before and Jon was oblivious to his girlfriend playing around because he was totally absorbed playing around with Ash… However, Ash WAS noticing the drama in the air between those two. She was also straining to catch my eye, hoping I would extricate her from Jon. I’m not sure but I think Ash was afraid Sally’s claws might eventually come out with her being the recipient!

Did I go to her rescue? Did I play the white knight thing, swoop in and save my beautiful wife? Nah. It was too much fun to watch!

When she finally did get away, Jon just found another woman and then another until eventually both he and Sally found a couple. The four of them continued to dance up a storm, then took the play to our crowded hot tub, and later escaped to a bedroom. You might say it ended well but to our experienced and sensitive eyes, Jon and Sally were on their way out as a couple.

That little scenario was repeated maybe 5 or 6 weekends in a row until Sally showed up one Saturday night by herself, sad, feeling lonely, and needing a friend much more than a fuck. The problem? Jon was off somewhere with another woman expecting Sally to be ok with it and without her having any say in the matter.

Swinging doesn’t usually fix relational problems like that but it will reveal what should be revealed. Sally deserved someone better than Jon. The club helped her finally realize that.

Sally was so despondent that night that most people there were avoiding her and increasingly so as the night went on. So being the really great guy that I am… I tried to console her. I danced with her, listened to her very long story…all frickin night, and basically just let her get it all out. Listening probably helped her some but it didn’t change the her mood much.

The change came on the dance floor when we finally connected. I remember the moment it happened. The DJ had just put on Bonnie Raitt’s song… “I Can’t Make You Love Me” when Sally clung to me as we slowly danced and she sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder. Something happened in that moment. Something I’d never experienced. It felt like an electric current flowed between us and when the song was over Sally’s remorse was over and the Jon thing was over…just like somebody flipped a switch. It didn’t happen because she talked and got it off her chest and it didn’t happen because I was such a good replacement for Jon. No, Sally and I were very different people and we both realized that. However, whatever happened it made us inseparable the rest of the evening. In fact, we even cleaned up the club together about 3:00 in the morning after most of the people had left.

Meanwhile, after Ash had escaped Jon, my darling wife ended up missing the rest of the night. Kinda went AWOL on me. Oh, I knew where she was and I was a bit annoyed with it all. She just got swept away with the most handsome single guy there, Danny, the head lifeguard at the local beach, part of a nationally competitive sky diving team and our “eye candy bar tender guy” for the evening. He should’ve been slinging drinks. You see, Danny got in the club free every week because he could really handle the booze in a sexy way. We had a whole wall full of everyone’s stash behind the bar as this was strictly a BYOB club. Danny was there to find your stuff and mix it for you. It worked well until he connected with Ash! That night the two of them kinda got acquainted and would go on to become a “thing” for the next few months. However, that night was the first time they just snuck off to a private room. They didn’t emerge until late morning. Their excuse… “We fell asleep together.” That might have been a problem for me except for Sally.

When she and I got done with the clean up, we looked around and realized Ash and Danny were still in a bedroom, so what the hell, we headed for an empty one ourselves. What followed was easily, and still is, the most extraordinary sex of my lifetime. It wasn’t just the circumstances of that unique night. It was all about who Sally was and the type of magnetic polarity we felt together. We repeated it often for months to come and it was always the same. That’s why the Danny thing was never too much of a problem for me or Ash. She had Danny. I had Sally. And that gave us both the freedom, time and space to deeply love those two!

As for Sally, I’ve never experienced a more powerfully multi-orgasmic woman. I lost count how many times she came that night but it was dozens and each one became a bit more physically demanding. The whole thing was aerobic. Some people would probably say violent. My ears hurt from getting my head squeezed so tightly and so many times between her legs. My tongue hurt in the morning from being overworked on her pussy. My stomach muscles ached from the sheer exercise. My cock hurt too from fucking so long, so hard, so many ways, and so many times. When it was done we were both drenched in sweat! I remember her hair looking like she had just stepped out of a shower. I can still see the large pools of sweat collecting in the recessed part of her stomach. Oh yea… The wet spot on the bed was 4′ wide! We had to put down towels to be able to sleep there together. And we did sleep until mid morning, curled up, clinging together in a way like I’ve never slept with someone. Sally was an octopus in bed. She slept like she fucked!

[Btw… This all happened early on in our swinging experience. We were still rookies and this was the first time I had literally slept all night with another woman in well over 20 yrs. It was a pretty significant thing for me at the time.]

We topped that night off by climbing into the hot tub in the morning. Now our hot tub was always a “hot place” at the club. It was in constant use and usually full most of the night. It was big and made for 10 or 12 people but often had far more bodies than that in it. For many new couples it was a great place to “melt the ice,” get the party started, and get the women out of their clothes! I’m not exactly sure why but it was the one place that seemed to always bring out the deepest animal instincts in women especially when the tub was over packed. Get in there… and buddy you were sure to get your cock massaged by some foot, groped by some hand or sucked in some mouth… sometimes you had no clue who was doing ya!

However this morning, Sally and I had it all to ourselves. It wasn’t that sexy place anymore. It was romantic. It almost felt sacred. What I remember most besides ending up all “pruney” from being in there too long was Sally sitting in front of me or floating on her back but either way with her head between my legs. “Amazon Sally” turned into miss sensitive and could give slow edgy oral as well as Ash… But she wanted no recip. Probably was too sore. So I started giving her my “patented” head massage-hair pulls. I normally did that for 60-90 minutes and women always loved it. True to form, Sally also took that to another level. She ended up having several orgasms in the tub while she floated between my legs and I worked on her head… not once touching her pussy.

I’ll never forget that night or that morning. I’ll never forget Sally. We both played with lots of different people over the coming months but at the end of many nights we often finished it playing together once again… Great memories. Well, until she finally had to move away. I’ve since tried finding her a number of times to no avail.

[Sally… If you happen to read this, you know I’ve changed your name in this story and you know by reading the story it’s really about you. PM me! I’ve always missed you and want to reconnect.]

The Sex Laboratory

Before I get into any more of our experiences at our new club, let me make a few observations about using sex outside of your primary relationship.

Sex surrogates became an acceptable counseling practice 40-50 years ago. Comparatively, not that many counselors use them as a therapy even though it can be quite effective. Personally, I think surrogate sex is a bit awkward and too clinical. I like swing clubs much much better. I would argue they are more effective, more natural and “sexually organic.” Clubs afford a new couple a wide array of partners both experienced and inexperienced. That’s very significant since they can learn important yet different lessons from both types.

In future stories I will take you through our experiences and reactions at a variety of club expressions. There are many… from simple “meet and greet” hotel type parties, public home clubs, private home parties, large commercial clubs, hotel on premise play clubs such as SLS (Swinger Life Style) parties that can be both public and private, large national conventions, public or semiprivate BDSM clubs, group massage parties, introduction to bisexuality type parties, and even “masturbation scene creation for the voyeur” type parties.

As I’ve already described, our first club was in a home and open to the public. I’m not sure we could’ve found a better place to start.

Public home clubs are best when their attendance reaches a critical mass of 30-50 people depending on the size of the home. Once it gets that large the self conscious factor subsides and the atmosphere relaxes into a sense of anonymity within the group. Plus, the options to play with someone “just right for the two of you” are greatly multiplied. If there are only just a few people at the party and especially if it is in a big house… Well it can all be a bit tense!

Our club usually had 80-100 people every week. Very little seemed awkward. We blended in. Everyone blended in and we could all just observe, or casually meet new people with no pressure to go play.

If you’ve read my last story you already know how sexual it got the very first time we spent an entire evening there. But after that night we watched a lot, often without getting involved… Well until we started a “massage thing” at our club.

Ash and I had started advising massage as a therapy between couples in our counseling years prior to swinging. We didn’t get involved physically with those couples but we did give out very explicit massage books with great photos and we arranged the formation of a group of couples who would alternate taking each other’s kids for a weekend allowing mom and dad to “stay-vacation” their home, lounge in bed most of the weekend, watch a stack of videos, munch on a great variety of delectables, and give each other long extended massages. It was quite popular and effective in jump starting a stagnant marriage!

So it was natural for us to take our massage passion and skills to the club. I loved giving Ash a thorough massage in the club’s dark group room, late in the evening, while in front of the fireplace. She was always stunningly radiant with her oiled skin shining as the fire place light flickered all over her body. That led to other couples wanting to join in our massage scene… and that led to a whole bunch of fun.

We bought lite olive oil in those big tins you can get it in… nearly a gallon. Also got a half a dozen squeeze bottles and various scented oils to mix in the bottles. When bodies got all slathered up… Oh the aroma in the room was intoxicating! We eventually started going through one of those tins every month!

The sessions with couples were normally 3-5 hrs. Nearly everyone wanted to repeat it the next weekend and we were forced to start seriously training new couples to help us with the demand.

It is amazing how much oil your skin can absorb. After a long session and plenty of applications, skin feels thick and velvety! One night after eight of us were done massaging each other, someone had the great idea of jumping into the hot tub and watch the sunrise. It was wonderful. All of us were spent and just wanted our wives to cuddle with and sip on drinks in that warm water. It was perfect except for one consequence… All that oil got released from our bodies. Have you ever boiled a chicken and noticed all the oil that collected on the surface? Yup. That’s what the hot tub looked like. It took a couple hours to drain it. Scrub and refill it. From then on a new rule got posted outside the tub. Guess what it was?

Here’s the thing about this unusual type of massage.

No money clock is running. There are no time limits. Both people are giving and receiving the massage as strangers or at least someone outside their marriage. And if it went sexual, it was only after all the nervousness was gone from being with someone new. The sex part seemed to naturally be woven throughout the extended session as the two of you took turns giving and receiving. For many newbies… It was the perfect entree into the lifestyle.

This type of massage is virtually unknown in the public arena. This type tends to feel “timeless” and you literally enter into a form of mutual hypnosis. While there, you experience two types of naturally induced altered states.

The receiver of the massage gets flooded with a brain chemical called endorphins. It is literally bio-identical to heroin and feels like it too. You often drift in and out of a conscious state like heroin addicts.

The giver of the massage gets on a very different high. Their brain gets flooded with dopamine which is quite similar to crack cocaine. Once there, the giver can go on with the massage for hours not wanting or needing to stop. It’s simply magical!

We’ve heard many guys say, “Well I love getting a massage. I just don’t like giving one!” Our reply was, “When we get done with you, you will love giving one better than getting.” No one believed us at first and often called it pure BS. However, virtually every guy got there.

Does wanting to “give more than get” seem believable to you? Well… There is a little secret to it all.

When a new guy starts out at a club, he tends to be on “high alert” when he gets a chance to play with new women. (Especially if it is someone like Ash.) He is wanting to please her, to impress her, and give her his absolute best “A type effort.” That makes him a very good student. That motivation is compounded as he watches someone like me work on his wife and sees and hears her hit brand new heights… Places where he’s probably never taken her. I’m telling ya, he’s going to want to practice on his wife during the week especially if he has been promised a rematch with Ashley on the weekend. I’ve seen it many times with even the most boorish type guys. It may take weeks for his “transformation” to be complete. But once he feels the heavy dopamine kick in, he will not want to stop giving the massage to the beautiful little lady he’s working on.

For me… Dopamine is the turning point. That’s the place where self hypnosis starts occurring. It really is magical!

Well… Our first few years at clubs were largely filled with those type of massage sessions which often ended just before dawn when we left for our nude beach. They were the most intensely romantic and wonderful times of our lives. We often commented how we wished everyone could know what we were discovering and that they could come with us to experience the club and the beach… That desire even included our kids.

This was our home club experience. We would’ve never gotten there without encountering Alex. That’s why I’ve chosen to write about his effect on us in our first stories.

Of course where all this led us will require a bunch of new stories. We will take you there! I’m still writing. Maybe I can get Ash to write another. Give her some encouraging comments!

Stay tuned and thanks for coming along with us.