Chapter Six

“I don’t care.” Nicole told me bitterly as we neared room 203. “The cold sucks. It hurts my face to go outside. You’re defending a thing that hurts my face.”

I grinned at her. “Now you’re just thinking up my reasons for me to love winter!”

She punched me playfully in the arm as we took our seats, joining the rest of Student Council. Shortly after, Phil entered the room and cleared his throat.

“Great, everyone’s here!” He commented happily. “Alright guys, listen up…”

That was my cue to stop listening until my name was called. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed being part of student council, but weirdly, the meetings, which was 95% of being in student council, were the most boring and insufferable part. Before long, my eyes wandered, looking at everything yet nothing in particular, until something responded.

That something was Megan, waving cheerfully as soon as she noticed that I was looking at her.

“Hey!” she cheerfully whispered, trying not to alert Phil.

“Hi.” I responded, admittedly less warmly. “How was your weekend?”

She shrugged. “Y’know… I didn’t do anything. It was kind of lonely.”

I never quite knew if Megan, ever since she confessed she liked me, was trying to guilt-trip me, or if she legitimately was a sad person who happened to like me. “Oh,” was the only thing I could think to respond.

“Yeah.” she said awkwardly, before waiting a few seconds then asking, “How was yours?”

Oh, just fine. My crush is going out with my best male friend, my best friend’s brother died via an overdose, and she responded to me finding that out by freaking out my dad then screwing me. “The usual,” I told her flatly.

“Adam.” Phil barked. “Do you have anything you’d like to say to add?”

I whirled around to face him. Well, crap. I felt like an ass, and debated either sinking back in my chair or trying to look like I was paying attention. My eyes fluttered in a panic from person to person until they settled on Nicole, my god damn savior.

She looked me straight in the eyes, and mouthed ‘Spirit days – up the ante.’

I have no clue how I did, but I caught her drift immediately. I turned back to Phil. “I dunno, honestly.” I started. “I feel like everyone does that already. If we want people to really show school spirit, I feel like it should be bigger.”

The nerdy guy behind Phil spoke up. “The dude ain’t wrong.” he said in a jock-y fashion that completely contrasted his look. “I mean, wearing stripes to support the school is cool ‘n all, but people do that anyway. We wanna find things that people don’t normally do.”

“Sorry, but what even is the point of wearing stuff to show support?” Nicole piped up. “Like, shouldn’t we be finding things to do that can ACTUALLY support the school? I get the whole morale thing, but we should find reasons to get students to like the school to begin with, instead of telling students to show that they like this school? We should let them show their own ways to support the school, instead of just telling them.”

Her actually good point aside, I saw what Nicole was doing. She was stirring the pot, diverting the topic away from me not paying attention. Naturally, it worked like clockwork – before long most of the council was debating ways to get students to like the school to begin with. Amidst the chaos, Nicole turned to me and winked.

I wasn’t the only one that noticed the wink. Megan noticed Nicole winking at me and her face fell instantly. She turned to me and asked, with some sort of desperation in her voice, “Why is she winking at you?”

Thinking fast, I replied, “I gave her that very idea a few days ago, about the whole let students find their own reason thing.” A complete lie, but whatever.

“Oh.” her face didn’t brighten up. “So you two talk a lot, huh?”

I sighed internally. I pitied Megan, I really did. “Yeah.” I replied. “She’s really cool, actually.”

Megan looked distraught at this point, so as much as I really didn’t want to, I continued. “She and Phil are really close too. They danced together at the Halloween dance.”

Just as I suspected, her face brightened somewhat, even though she was trying to hide it. “Do you think she likes him?”

I put on my best politician smile for her and added, “I hope they end up together.”

Megan smiled back. Internally, I was putting my face in my hands. I really hoped that I wouldn’t have to put up with this all year.

***

The council was over before long, even though it felt like it went on forever. Eventually, everyone was filing out, leaving just Nicole and myself in the room.

“Thanks for saving me.” I said to her as she filled her backpack.

“Don’t mention it, squirt.” she replied as she took her camera off from around her neck. I never noticed it before, but May was right – unless we were in her room, Nicole took that camera with her EVERYWHERE.

“Besides…” she added slyly, walking up to me, “How could I resist saving an ass as cute as yours?” She ran up to me and looped her arms around me, squeezing my ass.

“Woah there!” I said, backing up. “First off, uncharted territory.”

Nicole giggled.

“Secondly, we’re in the school building right now.”

“Oh, come on.” Nicole protested. “Everyone else left. I don’t expect you to bone me, but you’ve gotta admit, doing something in the council room would be hot, doncha think?”

Oh my god, she was serious. “You can’t wait for the car?!” I protested.

Nicole pretended to think for a second. “Hmm… Nope!” she concluded. She pressed herself up to me again, locking lips with mine, wasting no time. Her tongue licked away at my lips before I could even register what was happening, and was inside my mouth without me even being aware I allowed her access.

I broke the kiss. “The… the door…” I managed, pointing to the wide-open door.

Nicole sighed loudly. “You are SO squeamish.” She complained. She walked over to the lights and turned them off, then to the door. She started to close it, but then, teasingly, left it open a crack.

I started to protest, but she cut me off by holding up her hand. “Nothing’s gonna happen, squirt. Now roll with it.” Shamelessly, she took off her sweater, then her t-shirt to reveal her big, beautiful breasts.

“Maybe if you wore a bra during the winter, you wouldn’t be so bitter about the cold.” I joked.

“The truth?” she asked. I nodded. “I don’t even know if I own a bra.” She started laughing like an idiot, and I joined in somewhat. Before long, though, the laughing was over and she had her back up against a table, feet on the floor, my mouth on her nipples, moaning up to the heavens.

“I think…” Nicole said in between moans. “You’re becoming… the best guy… I’ve been with at this…”

I ground myself up against her pelvis, making her squeal, and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a fast learner, stupid.” She retaliated, standing up and unzipping my fly. With one motion, the threw my pants to the ground, then, keeping her eyes locked on mine, travelled downwards until she was on her knees. She took my now-erect cock in her hands and began to slowly stroke me, licking sensuously at the base of my dick. Shamelessly, she even started to use her tongue on my balls, still jacking me all the while. It felt good, but besides that, I didn’t know what to make of it.

Her love of tradition won her over eventually as she stuck my dick in her mouth and began to suck my dick for all its worth, playing with my head with her tongue while she was at it. I leaned back against a table and my hands moved to the back of her head, coaxing her to take more of me in as a felt the sensations spread all across my body.

I heard some clothes rustling and opened my eyes to see Nicole taking her pants off (which was impressive considering she was on her knees), opening her knees, and inserting two fingers into herself, making contact with her clit using her thumb. Before long the two of us were a mess of moaning, squirming and bucking. Nicole, surprisingly, came first – even though I couldn’t hear it, it was obvious with the way she picked up speed then stopped suddenly. Plus, I could see her juices faintly running down her legs.

I came next, getting used to not even bothering to warn her (since she seemed to know every time) as I spurted right down her throat. Nicole, of course, swallowed it all.

After we stood there in post-orgasmic bliss for a while, Nicole took me out of her mouth, wiped her own mouth, and stood up, putting her clothes back on. “Oh dear God, I forgot my water.” She complained.

“Another crisis that could have been averted if you just waited until we went home.” I quipped.

“Oh shut up, dweeb.” she playfully scolded, throwing her shirt at me. I was tempted to run out of the room with it, but knowing her, she’d just shamelessly run after me.

Unbeknownst to us, we were not the only ones who knew of our risky session that day. Just outside the door, peering through the crack, was perhaps one of the people I least wanted to see us: Megan. We hadn’t seen her, but her eyes were wide, her mouth was open and there was a hole in her heart. Her head was reeling, and her brain was filled with a mixture of shock, sadness, slight anger, and perhaps even a twinge of jealousy.

I know Nicole was wild and crazy, but she really should have closed the door.

***

Of course, she didn’t stick around the door by the time Nicole and I exited the student council room.

“It’s not going to be locked.” I warned her, still nervous, once we exited Room 203. “Someone’s going to notice that. Then come the questions.”

“Right, because I didn’t swipe Phil’s key before thinking doing this was a good idea.” Nicole replied, taking the key out of her pocket and rolling her eyes. “You worry too much, hotshot.”

As she locked the door, I thought I heard someone behind us, and veered around. “Is someone there?!” I asked nervously.

Nicole chuckled. “Nobody’s here, squirt. They’ve all gone home. I thought blowing you would make you LESS pent up.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was absolutely right to be nervous. Tucked into the indented doorway of the next room, thanking her lucky stars she pulled back into the indent when I veered around, stood Megan, head pounding and hands shaking, still listening to us.

“Alright, are we ready to go?” Asked Nicole, slinging the camera around her neck.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I hastily agreed, still nervous but calming down at this point. Megan peered back over to us just in time to catch me reaching my hand out and grabbing Nicole’s in mine.

“…What are you doing?” She asked me seriously.

“I don’t know.” I honestly answered. “I just figure since we do everything else and there’s no one around, like you said…”

Nicole laughed. “Yeah, but we’re not a couple, squirt.” She playfully slapped my hand away from hers. “That ain’t how this works. I’m a no-”

“Strings attached, I know.” I finished.

“Well if you know, then don’t be doing coupley things with me!” She said flatly. She seemed serious, like me holding her hand offended her or something. “It feels weird. It’s not my fault that when I blow you, you get feelings for me…”

“Oh, ha ha.” I replied sarcastically. “Because that’s totally how it works.”

Megan heard everything, and at this point, her eyebrows were at her hairline. At this point, her mind was made up. She knew who she wanted, but this changed everything. Now she knew how she could get who she wanted too.

***

For a guy that was getting as much unexpected sex as a nerdy, shy guy could get, I was pretty happy with having at least a little bit of routine in my life. Unlike everyone else in my classes, I was invested. For my teachers, this meant I was a joy to teach, although with teachers like Mr. Graves, it was hard to tell if he even knew what a ‘joy’ was.

Despite knowing that Carson and May were basically together, it was hard to get me to stop staring at May in English and Science (during drama, I had other things to distract me). Once or twice she’d catch me staring, but thanks to my new friendships in high school my confidence was actually building. Instead of looking away and suppressing yet another panic attack like my old self would have surely done, I’d seize the opportunity and flash her a smile and a friendly wave hello. Each time, she’d give one back, without any hesitancy or other signs she thinks I’m a creep in her eyes. We would barely talk, except in drama.

Drama usually was business talk. We were usually paired up for a makeshift scene or even an improv duo. Improv still wasn’t my style, especially since it was hammered into the class’ heads that improv needed to be funny. At one point in drama class we were playing ‘Strangers on a Train,’ which is apparently a classic improv game. I never heard of it. All I knew was that if you were in the center, there was someone on your left and someone on your right, and if you were talking to one person, you’d have to keep your hand on the other person’s leg without knowing it. Most people took this in funny ways, making the situation bizarre or sexual. In fact, usually sexual.

However, on Tuesday’s class, I decided to play a blind man. I didn’t exactly want to even be on stage, but Salvador called for me to be in the middle. I guess he noticed I hadn’t participated yet. Once I was onstage, May was on my left, and the guy with the goatee, Callum, was on my right.

There were a few giggles in anticipation of what hilarity would ensue, but once the scene started, I just sat staring up. Eventually, I realized I had to start the scene and grumpily called out, “Ethel.”

No one said anything. No laughter came from the audience, except for one distinct chuckle, which I think was still in preparation. I called out louder, a little more desperate. “Ethel.”

I could see May sneaking a glance to Callum behind me, confused. “Ethel, are you there?” I called out in a slight panic. I began to breathe more loudly, more erratically.

May recognized that breathing, and thinking it was a panic attack, whispered to me, “Adam, are you okay?” She gingerly touched my shoulder with her hand. Her touch felt electric and amazing, and made me happier just from feeling her warmth, but I wanted to focus on my scene.

“Who’s there?!” I said in a panic, turning to her. My arms went out and moved around, indicating that I couldn’t see. Eventually, my hand found Callum’s leg. I pawed at it for a second, trying to make sense of what I was touching as the character.

“What the…” Callum as his character called out. He looked at me and cleared his throat. “Sir, could you please get your hand off my leg?”

May caught on in the nick of time. She turned to Callum. “I think he’s blind.”

“That’s right, kid, but I ain’t deaf.” I snapped back in a raspy voice. “Have you seen my wife?”

Over the course of the scene, which lasted much longer than it was supposed to, there was no laughter. Just either boredom or attention. I found out that Callum was a great actor from working with him in this scene, particularly when he added the twist that ‘Ethel,’ the character’s wife, had been dead for a few years and I was on this train purely due to my dementia. His reactions to me and to May were incredibly real, and he really carried the two of us through the scene.

“Good.” called Mr. Salvador after our scene had, apparently, passed its climax. “You may sit down.”

After we seated, Mr. Salvador glanced at the audience. “Adam’s taught us something about improv: you don’t always have to be funny. This scene was by far the most meaningful.”

I sat back in my chair and enjoyed the sensation of my ego inflating. Knowing Mr. Salvador, I should not have savored it for as long as I did.

“He also taught himself something along the way. If your piece has meaning, you need substance to back it up.” He turned to me. “If Callum wasn’t in that scene with you, your idea would have fallen flat. If you’re going to make a decision, don’t do it half-heartedly. Commit to it.”

Ooooof course. I hated how Mr. Salvador always had something to say to me, that he couldn’t ever just let me win. It wouldn’t have killed me to hear his criticisms if he weren’t always right.

“Callum, you’re showing great progress with being a versatile actor. I’m impressed.” Mr. Salvador continued.

Oh, come ON.

***

“What made you make it all serious?” May asked me after the bell rang.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m not really funny, so I decided to make it serious.”

May giggled. “Well, I think you’re funny.” she told me. “I thought it was cool! You think all different. It’s really cool.”

I shot her a sarcastic look. “Yeah, right. You probably just watch Doctor Who and Wes Anderson movies and think I’m quirky and weird.”

May’s expression turned serious as we began to walk out of the aud. “Wait, how’d you know I like those things?”

I thought about it, and realized myself I don’t know. I thought back to how effortlessly Nicole explained herself.

“I know a few grade 11s.” I answered her.

“What does that have to do with this?” She asked me.

“I don’t really know myself.” I told her, shaking my head.

May giggled again. “You’re weird.” she replied, as we neared the doors.

“Bye, Mr. Salvador!” I called out as we exited the aud, expecting not to hear a response from him.

“He doesn’t care, you know.” She commented a tad bitterly as we walked down the halls. “You heard what he said to you. He’s just a dick.”

“Well, I don’t like to admit it, but he’s not wrong.” I said gingerly.

“Whatever.” She replied as she approached her locker. “Do you need something from your locker?”

“Hmm?” I realized I was just standing beside her. “Oh, um, sorry. No, I was just enjoying talking to you.”

She turned back to me and gave me a warm smile. “I’m enjoying it too.” she said, before turning back to her locker. “Although I won’t be here for long. I’ve got to go in a bit.”

“Oh yeah? Why?” I asked her, still awkwardly standing behind her.

She smiled slightly and blushed. “I’ve actually got a date in a bit.” She told me quietly.

Ah yes, joy. That. Still, I had to keep up appearances. I acted shocked. “No way! Who with?”

“His name is Carson Carter. You know him?”

Sure freakin’ did. “Sure do!” I replied enthusiastically. “Well that’s cute. I hope you enjoy yourself!”

May was all too enthusiastic to respond. “Oh, I totally will. He seems like a really cool guy. First off, he’s really into weight-lifting and stuff, so he looks really good.”

That one stung. I could only picture my skinny self standing in the hallway as she continued. “Plus he likes weird things like Marvel movies, he knows how to fence, one of his cousins is a bartender and taught him how to mix drinks and stuff, and he’s just got a way with words that makes me…”

There was a pause. “Makes you…?” I asked her.

Her blushing increased. “Never mind.” She told me as she shut her locker door. She looked at me and smiled. “Thanks for talking to me. Hopefully we can do this again sometime? I enjoy having a friend like you.”

Was this what the friend zone was like? Man, did it suck. “Yeah, I’d like that.” I smiled. I wouldn’t have minded our conversation nearly as much if it didn’t center on Carson, but whatever. At least she was happy, or so I kept repeating to myself.

I checked my watch, and realized I should head for the bus soon. And prepare for my night alone. It’s not like I could hang with Nicole tonight, she was apparently busy with some big class project.

Oh well, could be worse, I thought to myself as I got on the bus. After a few minutes, I could hear my phone vibrating amidst the loud humming of the bus moving. I took my phone out of my pocket to see I got a text from Megan.

hey, could u help me put up posters for the xmas spirit week tomorrow?

Putting up posters wasn’t exactly a Herculean task, which led me to believe this was just Megan making some sort of excuse to hang out. Although, I reasoned with myself, I actually enjoyed hanging out with her when the ‘I like Adam’ tension wasn’t making it weird, so I agreed.

Yeah, sure! I replied. Immediately after, I went over my contacts and found Nicole.

Hey, Megan wants me to help with some council business. Could I ask for a ride tomorrow?

I waited for a bit until the bus came to my stop. As I got off, I felt a vibration in my pocket, signaling Nicole’s response. I lugged my backpack inside, eventually plopping it down on the floor, then checked my phone.

Sure thing, squirt. I’ve got a surprise yearbook meeting anyway. Will you be done by 4:30?

I couldn’t have seen putting up posters taking more than 30 minutes. Definitely, I responded, all the while walking up to my room. I let my head hit the pillows and rest there for a few seconds before groaning and taking out my homework. At least Wednesday afternoon will be more eventful, I thought to myself.

***

Wednesday went by quickly, with nothing of real value happening during the day. Mr. Carrozza held a lab on the effects of acids and bases, Mr. Graves held his usual lesson, then went back to his desk while Carson and I talked the other half of the class away, Mrs. Jackson held a pop quiz on To Kill a Mockingbird for hopefully the final time, and Mr. Salvador had us working on doing a complete improv scene using just our faces.

It may have seemed interesting, but it all just kind of blurred together into one big homogeneous blob, otherwise known as school. I was all too happy when the final bell rang. However, it wasn’t until I was halfway to the bus that I remembered I was supposed to meet up with Megan.

Luckily, when I ran back to the main hall, she was just standing there, not pissed at my lateness at all.

She waved cheerfully at me. “Hey Adam!” she called. Other people looked at her, and then at me, as they passed. Megan held up her collection of posters and two rolls of tape. “Ready to start?”

“Sure!” I answered, trying to keep my encounter with her as business-oriented as possible. I took some of the posters and a roll of tape, and started to walk down the hallway.

“Where are you going?” She asked me sweetly as I started to walk away.

I gestured to the hallway I was heading to. “I was gonna, y’know, hang posters.” I replied dumbly.

“Oh.” She said simply, her expression not changing. “I thought we could hang them up together.”

“Well, it’ll take less time to do if we cover the whole building separately, don’t you think?” I asked her, thinking I knew what her true intent was.

Her smile faded. “Do you have to go soon?”

Crap. She had me there. My honest side overcame my selfish one as I admitted, “I have until 4:30.”

Her smile reappeared, yet was more vibrant, like pentimento. “That should be plenty of time. I’m sure you wouldn’t like to do it alone, right?”

I smiled at her, hoping it didn’t seem forced. “Right.” I answered. God, I hoped she would get over me soon. I actually envied Matt – she seemed like she would make a great sister or friend, and it’s not like I was that annoyed with her. If anything, I kind of felt bad for her. She had her heart set on me like I did with May, and I did not fail to see my own hypocrisy there. I just didn’t like her that way, and any time we shared just seemed to turn into awkwardness or her venting her romantic frustration at me, while trying (badly, if I may add) not to make it seem she knew what she was doing, and to whom. For multiple reasons, I wanted to turn back the clock and say no when she invited me to the dance. In many ways it would have made my life better.

In actuality, she was fairly quiet while we worked, seemingly concentrated on the simple task. If I had not known any better, I would have said she graduated from being awkward around me to being nervous. In a way, it was more peaceful, but in another way, it was worse, like I should feel guilty for my feelings.

Jesus… The more I thought about this situation when it happened to me, the more I realized just how right Nicole was about May. Instead of stopping myself from feeling about that way for her though, I just excused Megan. Okay, so I knew how she feels. If I were in her situation, knowing I wouldn’t get the guy, I’d just want them to be friendly and wait for the feelings to wear off.

Solid. “Hey Megan…” I said after a moment of silence, turning to her. “I’m kinda glad we could hang out, even like this. You’re a pretty cool friend.”

Yes, I may have been getting more confident, but I still wasn’t totally comfortable with my words yet, and my God, did it show. Nevertheless, Megan’s response was to form a beaming smile.

I had to say, I couldn’t decide whether her eyes or her smile was her best feature. I didn’t like her, but I could sure tell how beautiful she was. Her brown eyes, only made bigger and more beautiful by her glasses, had a way of conveying both innocence in the cutest of ways, yet a curious playfulness that could make any guy smile. Hey smile, however, had the great ability of lighting up her face beautifully, and combined with her eyes, I couldn’t help but smile myself before I knew it. Her smile was just contagious in that way.

“Really?” She asked me, her glowing white smiling showing as much glee at my remark as her eyes.

I nodded. “Yeah! It’s cool that we’re hanging out and chatting and stuff.” Great, now I was the friend-zoner. Is this what people with friends have to deal with? I think I overheard Carson refer to it as ‘drama’ before, before rolling his eyes.

It looked like a weight had been lifted off of Megan’s shoulders. “Yeah, really cool.” She said, with this odd mix of shyness and enthusiasm.

We chatted more from that point on, making small chat. I tried to steer the conversation back to the previous topic when relationships were mentioned, which I noticed happening more than once. We worked until the last of the posters were placed, which was around the 3:45ish area.

“That’s the last of them.” I remarked, smoothing down the last poster. “I hope people actually notice these.”

Megan shrugged. “I guess people like showing off school spirit.” She said back quietly. Her enthusiasm was gone and her nervousness was back. I briefly wondered if I had said something wrong to her along the way when she broke me out of my trance.

“Oh goodness!” She said urgently. I tried to hide a smile – I think ‘goodness’ was the biggest swearword she had ever used since I met her. I turned to her as she continued, “I think I left my backpack in fourth period!”

I returned her look. “Well, I don’t think you can get it back now – all of the classrooms are probably locked.” I told her seriously.

She bit her lip and sadness, panic and worry filled her eyes. “All of my homework is in there.” She whined to the floor. “I’ve never gotten a piece of homework in late this whole year. That was my goal.”

Jeez. If I thought Megan’s happy eyes were powerful, her sad eyes were something else. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” I said to her, smiling. Somehow, I thought to myself.

“Really?” She asked me, smiling despite her sad eyes.

I nodded. “What room is it?” I asked her.

“Room 314, Health and Nutrition.” She answered me.

I nodded again. “Okay, tell you what. I’m going to go see if the room is locked. While I’m doing that, just in case it is locked, and something tells me it is, you go down to the office and see if you can find someone who has a school key. Okay?”

Happiness filled her eyes again, although strangely the nervous look returned with it. “Okay.” she answered. I flashed her a brief, closed-mouth smile then went off to the third ‘floor.’ Basically, our school just had five sections, diving the classrooms up by their areas of concern and labelled them under different sets of hundreds, but were too lazy to call them ‘sections,’ so they decided to save two letters and call them ‘floors,’ despite the school being basically two-story.

Despite not being familiar with the floor (it mostly dealt with geography and non-English languages, subjects I did not take in first semester), thanks to the sectioning I found the room easily. Expecting the worst, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it opened. The room was open.

At any other high school, this might have been commonplace or even a pleasant surprise, but for me it was just perplexing. I knew for a fact that the custodians always made sure to keep all of the doors locked by 3:30. If any one room was open (particularly one that had kitchen supplies one might see as valuable) it could only be the result of a massive oversight. One that would probably need to be reported.

Throwing that topic off of my mind, I scanned around the room. The room itself was pretty big, so it could have been stashed away anywhere, but Megan’s backpack was definitely not in plain sight. I putzed around the room, looking under desks, but couldn’t find anything.

I heard footsteps behind me, and turned around to see Megan enter the room. She must have ran to the office… There wasn’t any other way she could have gotten here so fast. “Hey,” I said to her, still looking around. “I hate to say this, but I don’t think your backpack is in here.”

“I know.” She replied softly, closing the door. Wait, she knew? I was suddenly about as nervous as she looked.

“What do you mean, you know?” I asked, my worry probably coming across as anger.

“I put my backpack in my locker right after school. I just wanted to ask you something alone, that’s all.” She told me.

I still felt uneasy. “We were alone in the hallway for a long time! Couldn’t you have asked me then?”

She shook her head and approached me. “I know I’ve been weird and stuff for the past few months, and I’m sorry.”

Oh, crap. Was this why she was nervous? Because she felt bad? I felt like crap again. Poor Megan, blaming herself for something I was guilty of myself… I smiled at her. “No, it’s okay. I understand where you’re coming from.”

She nodded without returning the smile, and bit her lip. “I was wondering if I could ask you a favor though.”

My smile faded. I had literally no clue what it was Megan was about to ask, but I already didn’t like the situation again. She had about three words to make me feel comfortable again.

“Okay…” I slowly replied. “Depends on the favor. What is it?”

“Well… I, um…” That was three. I lowered one eyebrow at her and tried to convey just how weird this situation was for me. At the same time though, for some reason instead of moving towards the door, I sat down on a table, facing her.

“I… I want…” She began again shakily.

I waited about five more seconds before I interrupted. “Look, if you want to ask, just ask. Stalling like this isn’t going to help you.”

She sensed the impatience in my voice and nodded. “Adam, I want…” She started, then squeezed her eyes shut. “I want to give you a blowjob.” She said firmly and slowly.

Wait, what? Freaking what?! “Where did that come from?!” I thought and asked at the same time.

“I know it’s weird, but you’re just the only guy I can trust and I’m curious about it and I just…” Megan spat out quickly, before hanging her head and scowling. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid. I’m gonna go.” She started towards the exit.

“Megan, wait.” I called out after her. She was totally banking on me asking her to wait – she stopped where she stood and turned around. I sighed, thinking of how I was going to phrase it. “Look, I really don’t know how to respond to this, but just… don’t be sad. It’s not stupid at all. It’s teenage instinct.” I guess. “But I don’t really think you want to blow me.”

“I do! I really do!” Megan protested, in an almost desperate way. She moved closer to me. “You’re not like other guys. You’re… really sweet. I’ve felt like that since I first met you. I’m not asking for anything more, I just really want to. I don’t know why. We don’t even need to talk about it again if you don’t want. It can just be…” She paused. “…No strings attached.”

Deja vu. My lustful side was beginning to poke through as I realized I had this girl wrapped around my finger (somehow). She was literally begging to blow me. There wasn’t a catch, as far as I saw. Plus, it’s not like I was above doing it. I just did the same thing with Nicole two days ago, and hell, that was no strings attached.

“Do you promise you want this?” I asked her seriously. “Just to give me a blowjob, nothing else?”

She kept her sad expression but nodded enthusiastically. “I really do, Adam.”

I was totally going to regret this later. Things were about to get complicated. “Okay.” I gave in. Megan gave me another huge grin and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thank you, Adam. Thank you.” She thanked me. Why did she act like I was doing her such a favor? The situation made zero sense to me, and if I wasn’t a horny teenager, my suspicion might have prevented me from being in this situation.

Megan removed her glasses and set them on the table beside me, where I was still sitting. Her eyes looked different without her glasses making them bigger. Not worse, just different. Still smiling, she pulled up a chair next to me and patted it.

I guess this explains her nervousness earlier, I thought to myself as I stood up. With her watching, I slowly unbuttoned my pants and pulled down the zipper. Megan’s face went from a smile to serious as she slowly bit her upper lip and I could see something new filling her eyes.

From being with Nicole so often I should not have been this nervous, but I was. Throwing caution to the wind, without even trying to milk the moment for seductive purposes, I yanked my pants and underwear down to my knees in one motion, giving her a front-row seat to my fully erect member.

At first, she just gasped, then squinted a little. “Oh my gosh,” She whispered. “I was not ready for that.”

Well that was sure encouraging. She really knew how to talk to a guy. “What’s wrong?” I asked her, suddenly feeling very insecure.

“Nothing!” She protested a little too quickly, her eyes looking straight into mine. They traced their way back down my clothed body until they fell back again on my shaft. “It’s just… That’s kind of scary. I didn’t think it would be so big.”

Pure bull. Is this just how girls talk to guys when they see their dicks? There was no way I was as big as Megan was saying. “Uh, thanks,” I said, not knowing how to respond further than that. I sat down slowly into the chair, and Megan got the hint, slowly dropping to her knees.

“I can touch it, right?” She asked timidly.

I laughed internally, making sure it stayed internal. If she couldn’t touch it, I would have loved to see her blow me. “Yeah, of course.” I said warmly, hoping to ease her tension. She hesitantly reached forward and grabbed me, holding my shaft in a frankly awkward manner. After a few seconds of her lingering there, she slowly started to attempt to jack me off, her hands still awkwardly placed. Frankly, it hurt more than anything else.

I wasn’t shy about letting her know it either. “Ow, ow, OW.” I complained.

She took her hand off of me immediately. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry.” She said, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” I replied. “How much experience have you had with guys exactly? If you don’t mind my asking.”

She looked down at the floor, embarrassed, and I cursed myself for asking. “I haven’t even kissed one.” She told me sheepishly.

“Seriously? You?!” I asked, which she took as a compliment judging by her sudden shy smile. She nodded.

“Okay, then maybe I should guide you through this.” I said, and she nodded again. “Okay, now watch me.” I grabbed my own shaft in my hand. “See how I grabbed it in this way? You’ll wanna do something similar. You want to make it easy to move up and down without it hurting or being uncomfortable. Also watch your pressure – too loose and it just feels weird, too tight and it can hurt, a lot.”

She nodded diligently through my whole lesson and when I was done, I let go of myself and her hand replaced mine. At first mimicking my exact position, she experimented with her hand a little before deciding on a position and beginning to jerk me slowly. “How’s this?” She asked quietly.

“That’s really good, Megan, well done.” I said, smiling down at her. She nodded, smiling herself, while beginning to pick up speed.

For an amateur, she actually wasn’t bad once I set her straight. Her efforts were giving me more pleasure than I could when I was alone, and before long as she was stroking me, I was giving small groans and my body was shifting around a little.

She took this as high praise and a smile began to form. Once I saw she was content I let my head sit back, enjoying what Megan was doing to me. I had my eyes closed and only opened them when I felt something new. I jerked my head up and looked down to see Megan with her head down and tongue out, timidly licking away at the head of my dick.

She was licking it kind of like ice cream and while it didn’t feel really stimulating, I decided not to intervene this time, but rather wait and see what she does. Sure enough, a few seconds later I saw her inhale determinedly and lower her mouth down to me. The licking stopped as she stopped her lips right above my head, and gave the head a small kiss. I quivered with anticipation as Megan looked into my eyes and giggled a bit, before opening her lips and sinking her head down onto my cock.

She couldn’t sink her head far onto my without gagging, but oh my god the feeling was amazing. Even without using her tongue and her throat in unison, as she started to bob her head up and down, I instantly felt pure euphoria sweep over me, mixed with a delicious twinge of shock. My mouth hung open and my hips started to move autonomously as Megan began to extend her range, taking more of me into her with each amazing bob of her head. Her mouth felt very different from Nicole’s, in ways I couldn’t even think to describe.

“Oh my god Megan…” I began, realizing I gave her little oral feedback when she began. “For a first time you are doing amazingly.”

Megan only moaned on my dick in response as she enthusiastically continued, eventually adding her hand to her mouth’s efforts.

I may have been a ‘fast learner’ but I was nothing in comparison to her. Megan seemed like she knew exactly what I wanted and exactly how to give it to me. Every sound of mine she seemed to hear and she catered to every single one, as if my moans were clues for what to do next.

She had at least half, maybe two thirds of me in her mouth at this point. Each movement her head made gave me more pleasure than the previous, and at this point she was almost on par with Nicole, as amazing as that fact was to me.

Drunk with lust, I wanted to make her better than Nicole. “The tongue too…” I all but panted. “Swirl your tongue around the head.”

Slowly, trying to figure out the best way to go about it I assume, Megan complied. Soon I felt her tongue, slowly at first, working its way around my head, playing with me in ways that Nicole’s all-too-sure-of-her-own-way style didn’t dare to approach. Megan was trying new things, and each one was an instant success.

Each effort of hers made me hornier and hornier, and before I even was aware of what I was doing, I had my hands on the back of her head, shoving her mouth onto me. “That’s a good girl.” I said forcefully. “Harder. Faster.”

At first, Megan clearly coughed. Had my sensible side been working, I would have pulled her off me, made sure she was okay, and felt like a monster for what I had done. But I was way beyond that now. Megan had, if only temporarily, woken up something inside of me that even I myself didn’t know to exist.

Before long, she was taking the extension I had given her with ease, her coughs turning into small moans. Her tongue was now masterful as I, amazed at how fast she had adapted, bucked my hips fully into her mouth, sure that at some points I might have been hitting her throat.

After a while her hands travelled up my thighs and had grabbed on to them. Was she getting a better grip? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t care. I just wanted more of me in her amazing mouth. I wanted more. I pushed myself even farther into her, savoring the feeling, the feeling of having total control over the amazing shy girl Megan.

Once I went fully into her for the first time, all rational thought left my head. “That’s a good little slut.” I heard my voice say. Shit, that was me?! That didn’t sound like me at all! I mean, it had my voice, but I would never say that.

“Go further, my little fucktoy.” I continued, in a low voice I didn’t know exist. Wow, Megan sure knew how to bring out the beast in me. At that moment, her hands tightened their grip and Megan went even quicker. I may have been close to coming, but I didn’t let out any hints. Why did she do that. I looked around her to find my answer, when my eyes caught a look between her legs.

Today she was wearing a small, pink pair of shorts, and right in the middle of them was a small yet obvious wet spot. I no longer had the right to say that Nicole got turned on when she blew me – Megan was literally getting off on giving me a blowjob. Her hands tightened and the spot became bigger as she continued. Holy shit, I thought to myself as I realized why she was moaning on my dick and her hands grabbed at my thighs. She was seriously going to have an orgasm like this.

As soon as I made that realization, as if it were waiting for me, she came. She never took her mouth off of me, but the muffled moan/scream she made while still bobbing up and down gave me a pretty good hint. As my eyes travelled down her legs, I saw the wet spot had become exponentially bigger as some of her fluids leaked not only through her panties, but through her shorts as well, right onto the floor. Megan was a squirter. No, a gusher! This only turned me on more, seeing her like this, as my hands became more desperate, pushing her as far as I could into me. Megan went faster, wanting to please me, bobbing up and down with longer strokes, going faster and faster until I couldn’t take it anymore.

My vision was taken from me as I came. I only saw black and stars as my head went limp and I felt spurt after spurt after spurt empty my sack entirely into Megan’s mouth. The load filled her mouth and then some, so some of my cum ended up leaking from her lips and spilling down her cheeks. Still with my cum in her mouth, she gingerly removed her mouth from my dick, which took some of the cum with it, as I came to.

“Holy shit.” was all I could say at first. “You’re amazing at that.”

Megan didn’t respond – it’s rude to talk with your mouth full. She slowly looked around before setting her eyes on a nearby garbage can. She reached over to it and brought it over, opening her mouth above the can. All of my fluids came rushing out her mouth into the can, before she spat a few times and put the can back. With lust still in her eyes, she turned to face me.

“I wasn’t… Expecting… Any of that to happen.” She said breathlessly. She barely touched her wet spot, causing her to instinctively moan. “I think I liked doing that.”

“Yeah, I totally did too.” I added enthusiastically. “Thanks, Megan.”

She smiled at me. “You’re welcome.” she said, her shy attitude rapidly coming back to her. Who knew underneath her shy attitude lived… That? Whatever that was, I sure never saw any of that in Megan before.

Megan eyed her wet spot again before frowning, realizing she needed to fix that. Wordlessly, she got up and walked to the kitchen area (in hindsight it was convenient to do it in the health and nutrition room), taking from it a roll of paper towels. She came back and wiped up both of our fluids from the floor and placing them in the trashcan, before taking a second one and wiping away at her wet spot with it.

“Need any help with that?” I asked, half-joking. I hoped my humorous smile would make it sound less… creepy.

“No, it’s okay.” She smiled. Ooookay, so it didn’t. Once she was satisfied with her cleanup, even though there still was evidence of her wet spot, she tossed the final paper towel away, put the roll back, put her glasses back on and walked up to the door, opening it. Once it was open she looked back at me, smiling expectantly.

“Oh, right.” I remarked. I still had to put my pants back on. Quickly, I did my pants back up and followed her.

Megan was beaming as we walked down the hall, but still said nothing. I felt weird though, and like I had to say something.

“Uh, thanks again for that.” I said to her as we walked. “I don’t really know what to say but knowing this side of you is interesting. Like, in a good way.”

“It’s okay,” she said, smiling at me. “I think I understand what you mean.” She reached out to my hand and grabbed it, holding it as we walked.

“…What are you doing?” I asked her weirdly as I noted she had my hand in hers.

“What’s wrong?” She asked me, her smile slowly disappearing.

“Well, I’m just not… y’know, comfortable with that.” I answered, sounding kind of sheepish.

Megan was scowling at this point. “You were okay with me giving you a blowjob but holding hands is weird?” She asked me.

“Well, it just has a different meaning. A more intimate one. You yourself said the blowjob would be ‘No Strings Attached,’ remember?” I asked her. I realized that something was slowly blowing up between the two of us. I was starting to wonder if I had done something wrong or misinterpreted something.

“But…” Megan interjected, beginning to almost sound desperate. “But don’t you feel differently about me now that we did that?”

“Differently?” I wondered aloud. “Megan, you agreed that this was without feelings. You promised me this was nothing more than a blowjob. Plus, I don’t just get feelings for someone right when they blow me. That’s not how it works. I thought you were through with being weird around me.”

Yyyyup, that last one was definitely crossing the line. Megan looked at me with deep sadness in her eyes. “I thought…” She began.

I felt bad, but stood my ground. “You thought what?” I asked her with power in my voice.

She just shook her head and swallowed down tears. “Never mind. I’m gonna go now. I don’t feel so good.” She was fishing for some kind of answer, but it never came. I just stood there, looking at her. “And don’t try to text me or anything tonight. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Okay…” I said, concerned for her yet at the same time exasperated for myself. I couldn’t find a single thing I did wrong. She approached me, she promised that there were no feelings, now she was mad at me for believing her? What kind of logic was that? Still, I figured I should try to remedy the situation in any way I could. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings or anything…”

She didn’t bother to stick around to reply to that. Instead she just marched down the hallway with a hurry in her step, making sure I couldn’t catch up to her. I wasn’t sure if she began to cry when she was halfway to the main hallway, but I could suspect she was.

God dammit. I hope she wasn’t too upset. At the same time, though, I didn’t feel too angry at myself, which was frankly a first. I checked my watch, wondering how long we were at it. 4:23. Well, at least I still had my ride home.

As I stood there in the hallway, I felt a big, crushing nothing over me. The nothing felt really bad. What was I supposed to do? What would happen in the future? All I knew was that I didn’t want this situation to get worse than it already did. I had to keep this between Megan and I. No one else.

***

“Megan blew me.” I confessed to Nicole as we neared her car. I expected Nicole to be shocked, or at least stop in her tracks, but she casually marched onward, carrying her camera, backpack and some kind of paperwork from her yearbook meeting.

“Should I light a candle?” She asked sarcastically, and flashed me a smile as she packed her stuff in the car. “Not my first choice of girl, but I’m glad you chose her over May.”

“So you’re not upset I did something with another girl?” I asked her as we both stepped into the car.

She turned towards me lazily with an annoyed expression on her face. “I’m gonna say it really slowly this time so you understand: I AM NOT THE JEALOUS TYPE.” She slowly, loudly told me.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” I said, a little offended at her attitude.

She noticed. She stretched and lazily said, “Sorry, squirt. It’s been a long day.” She started that the car and added, “I’m actually kinda surprised. I didn’t really think Megan was the no-strings type at all.”

“Uh, yeah, about that.” I sheepishly replied. Nicole put the car into park mode and leaned back.

“Thought so. Lay it on me, hotshot.”

I told her everything. Her nervousness, the backpack, how she promised it would be casual, and how she got angry. After I finished, Nicole was silent for a good five seconds.

“Can I say something off the record?” she finally asked me.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” I replied.

“You’re really freaking dense.” She said, looking into my eyes and displaying just how amused she wasn’t.

“…Could we go back on the record please?” I asked her.

She gave a small laugh, but was still visibly pissed. “Girls think differently than guys. Guys use fake love to get to sex, and girls use fake sex to get love. Megan was trying to seduce you. She was hoping that by blowing you, you’d fall for her.”

“But where’d she get a notion like that?” I asked her.

She just shrugged. “Point is, people don’t always say what they want, and all girls, except yours truly, kind of feel more emotional than guys.”

I was tempted to point out her reaction to Mitch’s death, but I realized that would have been uncalled for, and just nodded with my mouth shut.

“Just be a bit wiser about stuff like that in the future, huh?” She continued. “Actually think. When people do things, they do it for a reason. When people do nice things in this world, it’s because they want something. Sorry, it’s a sucky truth. So before you do anything next time, consider her feelings, that’s all I’m saying.” She turned on the radio, signaling she was about to drive, and pulled the car into reverse.

I pouted. “Well then, why did y-”

“Ssh.” She said urgently, suddenly bolting up from her seat. She put the car back into park and turned up the radio. Some kind of 80s tune filled the car, as Nicole relaxed back into her seat.

“Aaaaah.” She moaned in pleasure. It obviously wasn’t sexual, but still was weird. “God damn, I love Tears for Fears. I seriously think Pale Shelter gives me a religious experience.” She finally said after a few seconds. She put the car back into reverse and I turned down the radio, not sharing her love for 80s music. Was I missing something? Everyone seemed to love the 80s but me.

“Sorry, squirt, were you saying something? I totally cut you off.” She finally said once we were on the road.

I couldn’t remember. “Don’t remember. It probably doesn’t matter anyways.” I snapped. Keeping her eyes on the road, Nicole outstretched her arm to my shoulder and began to rub it sympathetically. Some people knew how to comfort people with words, but Nicole had the gift of knowing how to comfort people without using words.

I felt a familiar buzz in my pocket. Odd, who would be texting me now? Definitely not Megan. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the screen to see a message from May. It’s actually been a while, I thought to myself.

Hey was all it read. She was still bad with punctuation, but she was starting to text more properly, like me.

Hey! How’s it going? 🙂 I texted back. I looked back at Nicole, who had her eyes closed, enjoying the music as she drove. Wait, she had her eyes closed?!

“Oh my God, Nicole, eyes on the road!” I said in a panicked voice as I eyed her and the road frantically.

“What do you take me for, squirt?” She lazily piped up. Just as we were nearing a stop sign, she came to a decent slow then a stop, right where we were supposed to. “There, see?” She asked, drawing attention that she hadn’t opened her eyes once while doing that. “Now shut the fuck up. It’s My Life by Talk Talk is up next.”

“How’d you do that?!” I asked as she sped up again.

She sighed angrily and quickly spoke. “I memorized the distance and calculated how long it would take given my average speed to reach this point. If there was a car in front of me, I would have heard it. Satisfied?”

Of course the answer she gave me was pure bull, but she didn’t have that usual sarcastic tone to her voice. Nevertheless, I turned my attention back to my phone, which had a new text from May.

Its okay was the whole text. May didn’t usually give short replies unless she was upset.

What’s wrong? 🙁 I texted back.

“What’s wrong?” Nicole asked mockingly, her voice dripping with fake concern. Yet when I looked up at her, her eyes were still closed. I think fucking with people was her hobby.

The date didn’t go too well… Carson and me aren’t together was her reply.

Aaaaand temptation. Great. Especially in light of recent events, one might think I would have wised up by now, seen the true value of girls as people, and accepted that I can’t just screw with people’s feelings just to satisfy my own desires.

“Hey Nicole, what do you think is the best way to get May to fall for me?”

Yup, nope, it wasn’t going to happen. I’m still the same guy.

Nicole opened her eyes and scowled at me. “You’re a lot more shallow than I gave you credit for, squirt.” She said bitterly.

“Please?” I begged her. “I didn’t know why Megan would want to do that, and I still like May. This might be my only chance left. I promise I’ll be good to May, I promise. No more hurting her, no more hurting Megan. I just really want to be with her. Didn’t you ever really want to be with someone, to the point where you’d do everything?

Nicole threw her head back in her seat and sighed a long sigh. “Fuck me,” she muttered, then opened her eyes. “Fine, God dammit, I’ll do it. But in return, you’re going to have to listen to me. Deal?”

“Deal.” I said all-too-enthusiastically.

“Firstly, for Christ’s sake, a girl is upset. Ask her if she wants to talk about it. You’re a shoulder and she’s crying.” Nicole ordered.

I nodded and went right to my phone. Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. 🙁 Do you want to talk about it?

“Secondly, I’m shocked I didn’t do this earlier, we’re getting you some new clothes.” Nicole barked. On cue, the car made a sharp turn as we headed in a direction other than home.

“Where are we going?” I gingerly asked her.

“The mall.” she answered. “They got Hollister, Old Navy, Sears if you wanna be modest… Everything any two-dimensional shallow fuckwit would wanna wear if he wanted to announce his true colors to the world.”

“Hey!” I protested, offended.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” She replied with a bark in her tone. I sensed that she was angry. Nicole clearly didn’t want to do this, and I actually felt really bad. “Thirdly, I bet May, or anyone else, likes guys to be more than twigs. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, every day after school we are going to the weights room, and you’re going to get some actual muscle. On Wednesdays and Fridays from seven to nine PM, I’m signing you up for karate. Okay?”

Nicole was almost scaring me with her tone. “Okay.”

She sensed my discomfort and sighed. “Look, if you’re really going to behave like this for some girl, and you’re going to ask my help about it, yeah, I’m gonna turn up the attitude. At least I’m helping.”

“I understand, I’m sorry.” I said submissively.

She flashed me a smile. “And don’t worry. The karate is on me. And the clothes.”

“Wait, really?” I asked her. “How can you afford that?”

“Scotiabank.” She replied sarcastically, and overly enthusiastically added, “I’m richer than I think!” after a few seconds of silence, she waved her hand dismissively at her. “That joke works way better with Canadians.” She muttered.

“Well, thanks.” I muttered back.

“Least I could do for a friend.” she replied. She was now faintly smiling at me – her attitude had changed completely. I didn’t know what to make of that.

I sat back in my seat and smiled as we made our way to the mall. Nicole and I were on our way to making a new me. Look out, May. You’re about to meet a new Adam, a better Adam. This was awesome… I was gonna be a better me. Better looking, more confident, getting a shot at the girl I liked… Life was good. My troubles were over – there was no way my life was going to get worse or more complicated from here on in.

Chapter Seven

Actually, the clothes shopping was kind of fun. Luckily for me, Nicole retained her casual, fun-loving attitude the whole time we were there, and didn’t go serious on me again. My entire wardrobe was changed by the time we left, and as much as I hated critiquing my younger self for fashion choice of all things, I had to admit I looked better in my new clothes.

The most painful part of that trip was when Nicole convinced my to cut my hair. I actually loved my long, kind of messy blond hair, but if Nicole said it didn’t look good, I believed her. Once I saw myself in the mirror with my hair cut, half of me was confident, believed I looked good. The other half was scared to admit that I didn’t recognize who who staring back at me.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I hastily agreed to do karate, though. From the second I walked in, I was overwhelmed. People were doing punches and kicks and weird moves everywhere in weird white suits, and what unnerved me the most was that everyone there looked like they knew how to fight. All of them. I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to keep up with that.

I was even uncomfortable standing next to Nicole, who was in her own white suit, tied together with a brown belt. Right as we walked in, the toughest-looking black belt whipped her head around from what she was doing to look at us. She had short, brown hair and a naturally stern look on her face. As soon as she saw Nicole though, her face broke out into an unexpected grin.

“Hi, Nicole!” she cheerfully said, walking over to us. “We haven’t gotten to see you in a while.”

Nicole responded by bowing, keeping her head up, and uttering some kind of noise. It sounded like she was saying ‘osu’, but I’m sure it meant something in Japanese or something. “Sorry about that, sensei.” She continued. “School and other stuff just happened to get in the way.”

The black belt waved her hand at Nicole dismissively. “Of course, of course.” She responded before clapping her eyes on me. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Adam,” Nicole proudly said, giving me a less-than-gentle push forward. “He was looking for a good outlet, and he could use a little more confidence.”

The black belt nodded and turned to me. “It’s very nice to meet you, Adam.” she said, bowing to me. I just stood there dumbly.

Nicole subtly jabbed me in the side. “Bow back, knucklehead,” she muttered without moving her mouth. Hesitantly, I bowed back.

Class started shortly after. At the start, everyone gathered in a line, sorted by level of experience. I went right to the end of the line, with no experience and no white suit. I found out later from Nicole that she ordered it with the sensei while I was off looking around before class began, and that it would arrive by next week.

Once we were in the line, we did this bow ritual, and luckily the sensei was casual enough to explain it to me personally in front of the class as we were doing it. However, she was still strict enough to damn near scare me as she was doing so. Afterwards, we were all ordered to spread out as one student led opening exercises.

By the end of the exercises alone, I was wheezing and bending over, catching my breath, and naturally, I was the only one. No one else was even breaking a sweat, of course, including Nicole, who casually strode over to me.

“You okay, hotshot?” She asked me with more humor in her voice than concern.

“It… the… I…” I managed to get out between breaths.

She giggled. “You’ll get used to it soon enough. Now come on, back straight. Let’s make a good first impression on the sensei.”

The sensei, now that the exercises were over, was dividing up the class by the time I had the strength to look up.

“Green belts, go with Sensei McArthur, he’s going to go over kicks with you.” The green belts broke away from the group, along with a black belt who sported glasses and a consistently red face. “Orange belts, you’re with Sensei Wise. He’s going to handle chokeholds.” Those poor orange belts, I thought to myself. Sensei Wise looked like he could snap a human being like a twig. He was easily the most buff guy in the room by far, and that was saying something. “Yellow belts, you’re doing the basics with sensei Gratton, white belts, you’re with me, and brown belts…” She stopped and looked around. “It’s just you here tonight, isn’t it, Nicky?”

Nicole, face worrisomely serious, just nodded at the sensei.

“Alright, then why don’t you take Adam?” The sensei asked her. “Teach him the basics, let him know how to bow in and how to behave in line, stuff like that.”

“Osu, sensei Sparrow.” Nicole responded like a soldier, before bowing. She then started to walk off to a corner and motioned for me to follow.

“Do I get to call you Nicky?” I asked Nicole, grinning.

“Fuck off.” Nicole responded playfully, grinning back. That was enough of a ‘no’ for me!

***

The rest of the class went by eventlessly, with Nicole explaining to me the basics of karate, with a lot of manners, some terminology, stances, and a few basic moves. For the last minute of class, though, Sensei Sparrow called the class together and all of the students found their own spaces around the room. I was asked to keep to the sides, since I apparently didn’t know what they would be doing.

As I later learned, they were doing what were known as ‘katas’ – a series of karate moved done in seemingly perfect execution. I was in awe of how perfectly they all seemed to pull it off, in unison no less. I was equally shocked, however, with how the Sensei was constantly barking criticisms as she watched everyone.

“Bart, straighten your punch.”

“Paul, fix your stance.”

“Georgia, other hand should be at your side.”

Nicole, in my mind, was an enigma of perfection, a person who seemed to never screw up, but shockingly, she was actually the one the Sensei picked on the most.

“Nicole, your shoulders are too stiff.”

“Nicole, your timing is off.”

“Nicole, you should know better.”

Sheesh! If I thought Salvador was tough, then this was insane. Nevertheless, Nicole never once talked back, never once did anything but correct herself. It was interesting to see.

After we did the line and bow thing at the end of the class, we were all dismissed by the sensei, and Nicole walked up to me. “So how’d you like it?” She asked as we started to leave.

“It was… interesting.” I said with a small chuckle. We both bowed as we left the room (apparently called a ‘dojo’), something Nicole taught me to do.

“Sorry that the sensei was so hard on you.” I added as we left the building. I noted the black December night sky as we walked back to Nicole’s car.

Nicole gave me a weird look before lightly laughing. “Dude, if you think she was ‘hard on me,’ maybe you’re not so ready for karate.” she told me. “In karate, you’re supposed to accept that you’re not the best. You have to be diligent and learn, leave ego outside the door, and swallow your pride.” That ‘ego’ line sounded like something Salvador would say. She got into the car with me in tow, then added, “And speaking of swallow, I’m hungry as hell. How about McDick’s, squirt?”

Why the hell did everyone in high school feel it was necessary to call it that? “I’m down.” I cheerfully answered.

“Cool.” She beamed as she started the car. Before leaving, though, she reached over and gave me a peck on the cheek.

“What was that for?” I asked her.

“I wasn’t aware I needed a reason.” She replied, winking at me. “But it’s so I can show thanks. For one, I hate how my karate friends are ONLY my karate friends, this gives me a nice change. Plus, even though you were kind of being a shallow prick earlier, it doesn’t change the fact that I was being a bit of a bitch. It means something if you are willing to put up with me like that.”

I shrugged. “Not so much ‘putting up with you,’ more like ‘scared of your tone.’” She playfully punched me in the shoulder, before realizing I was serious. She couldn’t have made that realization more obvious if she tried. Instantly she tensed up and looked forward, focussing on getting out of the parking lot with a suddenly blank-yet-almost-worried face.

I caught that immediately and tried to break the tension. “And hey, it means ‘something’? It doesn’t mean ‘a lot’?” I was kind of worried I made her upset, so I hoped my tone reflected the playful attitude I wanted it to, not my worry.

Luckily, it paid off as she looked back at me with a sly grin. “Well then, dinner’s on you.”

“I was already planning to pay.” I replied, slyly yet seriously.

Nicole smiled. The car came up to a red light, and we stopped. She took the opportunity and rotated my face to meet hers. Slowly, sensually, she kissed me on the lips. After a few seconds, we broke away ,and she faced the front of the car. She was half-smiling as she bit her lower lip, presumably in thought.

About a minute later, she spoke. “Yeah.”

“Yeah what?” I asked her, not knowing what she meant.

“It does mean a lot.”

***

Full and happy, we approached Nicole’s house around 10pm that night.

“Hope you didn’t mind eating in the car.” Nicole piped up as we pulled in her driveway. “I don’t exactly like going around town dressed as…” She gestured at her white robe. “…This.”

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it.” I replied as we got out of the car.

“So… Wanna hang around for a bit?” Nicole asked me.

“I probably shouldn’t.” I answered her. “I’ve got this lab report due tomorrow, plus I want to be well-rested if you meant that thing about hitting the weights tomorrow.”

“Oh, I was dead serious, squirt.” She said with a chuckle. “But I can help you with the lab report.”

“Nah, I should probably go home to my parents anyway.” I replied.

Nicole looked at her front door, then back to me. “Please?” She asked.

“Why do you want to so much?” I asked. I looked to the door after her – I wondered briefly if her parents ever did have that talk with her. They said they would, after all. Hopefully things were better with them.

I swear it was only out of curiosity, but Nicole’s gaze stiffened, clearly taking my comment offensively. “Fine.” She waved me off as she started to go inside.

Shit. “Sorry.” I immediately blurted out. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to know if there was a specific reason or something. I can hang around for a little bit, but not any longer.”

Nicole smiled, but shook her head at me. “You really need to learn how NOT to offend girls, you big dumbo.” She muttered at me, still smiling.

“I know.” I admitted sheepishly. “By the way, how are your parents?”

Nicole was about to open the door, but stopped when I asked. “They’re fine…” She slowly answered. “Why?”

“I was just wondering if things got any better with them. Like, if they sat down and talked to you about it or something.”

Nicole shrugged. “Nope. I don’t think that’s gonna happen. It’s just sorta… Oh well, y’know?”

I nodded, although I was kind of angry on the inside. Her parents didn’t talk to her at all.

Nicole opened the door and strode in. “I’m hoooome~!” She sang as she walked in. She dropped all of her stuff off near her shoes and strode right in.

As if I shouldn’t have expected anything different, her dad was sitting in the kitchen, reading Dickens. The Chimes. Hm.

Her mother was getting up to greet her from the living room. “Hello, Nicole! How was your d-” Her sentence stopped right in its tracks when she clapped eyes on me. A brief flash of something that left too quickly to be identified filled her eyes, as she looked back at Nicole and smiled.

Noting the silence, Mr. Baker looked up from his book to see me, doing a double take when he saw me for the first time. He looked me dead in the eyes and cleared his throat. “Um, sweetheart, maybe this isn’t the best time for your friend to be visiting. We have something we’d like to tell you.”

Clearly this wasn’t a common thing. Nicole shot her mom a confused look, before replying, “Um, does it have to be now? Maybe Adam can wait in the other room or something.”

Her mom picked up where her husband left off. “Sweetie, this is a bit of a family thing – no offense to your friend here.” She looked at me. “Sorry, Adam, would you mind?”

Following her mother, Nicole turned to look at me. Noticing her daughter’s eyes were off of her, Mrs. Baker looked me dead in the eyes and slowly nodded. It wasn’t a threat, she was trying to tell me something, and I had a feeling it had to do with my talk with them on Halloween.

“Um… No, I guess not.” I said slowly, trying to identify the situation. Nicole looked back at her mom as I looked at Mr. Baker. He gave me a half-smile (something which looked like it was painful for him to make) and slowly nodded at me. I turned back to Nicole. “Unless Nicole really wants me here.”

“Nah.” She said flatly. “As long as it’s a family thing. C’mon, Adam, I’ll show you out.”

With surprising speed, she led me to the back room. As soon as we were out of her parents’ sight, she pulled me into a tight hug.

“Of COURSE I want you here, you idiot.” She whispered into my ear as she continued her embrace. “I dunno what’s gonna happen. My parents don’t usually get like this.”

I broke the embrace and looked her in the eyes. Her hair was covering one of her eyes, so I brushed it out of her face. “Don’t worry. I think it’s going to be good news.” I was a bit disappointed in Nicole’s parents for needing a prompt, but as long as they were going to handle it tonight, I was happy.

“I’ll text you later?” She asked me, smiling slightly.

“You’d better.” I smiled back. I kissed her on the cheek and grabbed my bag. She waved me out, almost nervously as I left.

I felt really happy as I went back home and greeted my own parents. I was really grateful to have good, understanding parents like these (although granted, they didn’t know I wasn’t a virgin) and I was happy Nicole would get the opportunity to have the same thing, finally.

As soon as I got to my room, I anxiously pulled out my phone. I knew the conversation she was about to have with her parents would be a long one, but I still wanted to check. What I found was a text message, not from her but from May.

Well, shit. I completely forgot. I pulled up her messages. Yeah, I actually would like to talk about it

Oh, boy. I hoped that May was the type of easily forgive. Oh shit, I’m so sorry! My phone died on me. I’m listening. 🙂 Yup, a white lie. It’s official, I was shameless.

Almost instantly, she responded. Oh thats OK. i dunno, Carson is a good guy but it just didnt feel right with him. i felt really lonely around him is all, and now i feel like a bitch because i’m the one who shut him down and i still feel lonely and yeah.

Wow. I totally thought Carson was the one to break up with her. Well I’m here for you if you’re ever lonely. You shouldn’t feel like a bitch, if it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be. Oh look, there was a break-in at the cheese factory.

Thanks 🙂 but i dunno. he didnt do anything wrong but the date was still bad, like i didnt enjoy myself at all and i dont know why. i really wish i knew why. i feel so bad 🙁

I had no freaking clue how to reply. Don’t worry, you shouldn’t feel bad. I’m sure he understands, Carson is a really understanding guy. Besides, you don’t owe him anything. You shouldn’t have to apologize for your feelings. Woah. That wasn’t actually half bad.

Thanks Adam <3 youre the best friend ever, you really cheered me up :))))))

Ugh, the inner Nicole in me piped up. The dreaded many-mouth Smiley.

What are friends for? 🙂 I sent in reply.

There was still no response from Nicole, even by the time May sent a 🙂 in response. Even still, I waited. I was almost asleep by the time my phone finally buzzed. I checked the screen, and sure enough, it was Nicole.

Holy shit that took way too long. was all it said.

I smirked. What was it about? I asked her, knowing full well the answer. I hope they found a middle ground or something.

Dad just wanted to tell me about his brother’s new job. I don’t get why they shooed you out of the house for that…

Wait, what? That was the reason? That might have made some sense in any other scenario, but they made eye contact with me. They all but promised with their eyes that this would be the night! Without me realizing, I became fully upset, having a grasp on my phone firm enough to start hurting my hand. Did they just say that to get me to leave? They might have been a bit mean to Nicole, but they didn’t seem like they were that big of a bunch of cowards.

Nicole noted my lack of reply and continued. It’s like they just wanted an excuse to get you out of the house.

Son of a bitch…

***

Another good reason to love the holiday season hit me a few weeks later – Christmas. I wasn’t overly religious, but I loved the spirit of the holiday. This year was no different.

Actually, that’s a complete lie. This year was completely different. After the usual festivities at my place, there was always this weird 4-hour gap in-between present opening and Christmas dinner, with nothing but marveling at the new stuff to fill it. Well, this year, like my own Christmas angel, Nicole asked if I wanted to come over.

Not to say I wasn’t prepared. After I cleared it with my parents, I grabbed her present and dashed out of the door.

***

Despite her hatred for winter, I think Nicole loved the spirit of the holidays as well. She was so wrapped up, no pun intended, in the joys of Christmas, she didn’t notice the glares I was flinging her parents every few minutes.

Mr. Baker glared back at me every time I did, challenging me with his eyes. I didn’t stop though. Mrs. Baker, on the other hand, just looked down every time I gave her a glare.

Nicole was practically bouncing around. She showed me the decorations she put up, played me some of her favorite Christmas music, and offered me a few cookies which she baked herself. After a while, her mother cleared her throat.

“Sweetie, do you want to do the present-opening upstairs? I’ve got a little headache coming on and I’d appreciate less noise.”

I could tell from her weirded-out expression that Nicole was as shocked by this as I was, but after a while she shrugged. “Sure, no complaints from me!” She said casually as she started to go upstairs. “Advil’s in the third drawer from the right on the left counter, second drawer down.”

As we closed the door to her room, Nicole shot me another look. “That was really weird…” she said slowly, before grinning. “Mom doesn’t ASK me to go upstairs with boys. Maybe she likes you more than I thought!”

I held my tongue. I wanted to say something, but for some reason I felt like now wasn’t the right time.

“Anyway, your present!” Nicole exclaimed, dashing to her dresser. She rummaged through her drawer for a few seconds before pulling out a rectangular gift, with a hand-wrapped bow on the top.

She bounced back to me, handing me the gift. “Open it open it open it!” She exclaimed giddily. She was really cute when she was excited.

I tried to salvage the bow at first, but couldn’t figure out a way to do so and still open the package. Eventually, Nicole rolled her eyes and undid the bow.

“There! Now open it, squirt.” She said, smiling.

Smiling back at her, I ripped open the packaging to see it was a book. A children’s book, to be exact.

“The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein?” I asked her.

Her bubbliness was gone, but she was still smiling as she nodded. “I feel like you could learn a lot from that book.” She told me softly. “You’re a really great guy if you just believe it. I think this book could help make you more confident.”

“Voice of experience?” I asked her, my smile coming back.

She lowered and eyebrow and smirked. “I can’t give you all of my secrets, hotshot.” She told me.

I went forwards and hugged her. “Thank you, Nicole.” I told her. “Thanks for caring.”

“Ugh, too sappy.” She said, playfully shoving me back. That was Nicole for you, I guess. I briefly wondered if she actually enjoyed my sappiness but tried to play it cool, or if she had some sort of reason for disliking it, before realizing only one of us had given the other a gift.

“I actually got you a gift too.” I told her, thinking she had no idea.

“Oh, I know. You need to work on your subtlety, bro. Especially when it comes to hiding this behind your back.” Nicole replied. How did I not see that coming? Oh well. Rolling my eyes, I picked up the gift from behind me before giving it to her.

At first, she just inspected it. Holding it up in front of her eyes, shaking it up and down, even sniffing it once.

“Just open it.” I said with a chuckle.

She pouted at me, which frankly looked adorable. “I have to guess first! It’s tradition.” She inspected it for about fifteen more seconds before shrugging. “Ah, fuck it.” she thought out loud. “You’re not family anyway.” She winked at me as she frantically tore away at the packaging, revealing a CD case.

She laughed out loud. “The Best of the 80s New Wave? She read aloud.

I nodded enthusiastically. “I checked – Tears for Fears is on that CD.”

She turned the CD around and nodded thoughtfully. “So I see! And ABC, Devo… Wow, even Wang Chung!” She looked up at me and smiled in approval. “Congrats, squirt, you hit the jackpot.” She lunged forward and latched herself onto me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Adam.” She said softly. “I love it.”

She made no effort to detach from me, and just kinda stayed on me. Eventually I lost strength (I was still sore from our most recent gym trip) and fell back on to the floor. She fell with me with an alarmingly loud thud. We both immediately looked at each other to make sure we were okay, and ended up bursting out laughing. I’m not really sure why.

Eventually we settled there on the floor. Nicole gradually cuddled up closer and closer to me until she was basically latched on to me like a baby koala. Over time, her nuzzling became the exploration of her face and hands on my neck, until eventually, she got up and started to take my shirt off.

I could guess where this was going and complied. However, instead of getting frisky, Nicole just nuzzled into me again, still too lazy to even climb up on the bed.

“Wouldn’t the bed be more comfortable?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“I don’t wanna move.” She lazily replied. Chuckling to myself, I accepted my fate of staying on her floor until she wanted to move. Nicole just nuzzled back into me, continuously moving herself around, never seeming to find a comfy position.

After a bit of this, it became clear that she had other motives at work. Before long, her crotch rested atop mine, and every time she tried to get comfy, she would brush up against me. Before long, I started to get hard. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything, although from that point forward, every time she brushed up against me, she would do it with more and more force until it became a shameless grind.

Nicole buried her face into my neck again, only this time her lips opened and I could feel her hungrily licking and sucking on my neck; gently at first, but soon with more ferocity. Her grind lost all of its desire to be subtle as her mouth trailed its way up to mine and soon we were making out, her grinding up against me, my body laying on her bedroom floor.

Nicole broke the kiss and grinned, half triumphantly, half devilishly. “You didn’t really think your gift was just a book, did you?”

I grinned back, but didn’t say anything. After another round of our tongues battling for victory, without breaking the kiss, I got up, lifting Nicole off of me so I could get up without stopping what the both of us were so keen on doing.

Naturally, she broke the kiss anyway. “Wowie, hotshot!” She exclaimed. “I think those visits to the gym are already taking effect!”

I didn’t respond, I only pinned her down to the bed, before she lifted me off of her.

“The bed is boring. We’ve done it here too many times. Christmas gift time, squirt! Anywhere in the house, as long as we can shoo my parents away. Where do you wanna do it?”

The mere mention of her parents was enough to make me angry again, when I realized where I want to do it. “Your parents’ room.” I confidently said.

Nicole looked shocked. “Wow, you’re kinkier than I thought…” She started. “Why there?”

I thought about making a bullshit excuse, but the truth just kind of spilled out. At least, part of it. “Fuck your parents.” Great start. “They don’t accept you for who you are, and they should have cleared the air with you a long time ago. It would be no less than they deserve.”

Nicole didn’t say anything at first. She cocked one eyebrow and looked to the floor, and for a second, I was worried if I had said yet another thing out of line. “Well, isn’t someone passionate.” She finally said, looking back up to me. Her tone turned seductive as she added, “I think I’d like to see just how passionate you can get.” With that, she took my hand and opened the door, leading the way to her parents’ room.

Once we got there, we were a mess of removing clothes, unable to resist our hands roaming all over each other in the process. At first, we focussed on nothing else other than our hands and mouths. Nicole’s tongue probed my mouth as I fully explored her body, not daring to leave any one area untouched, without my worship. Soon it was my turn to explore her mouth as her hands went from clasping around my neck to tracing its way down my chest and stomach, feeling every muscle on my body.

Even after our kiss had ended, her fingers still remained, roaming all over me. didn’t see it, but I felt her faintly smile. “Not too shabby, Watson.” she softly said, almost in a whisper.

I couldn’t wait any longer. Grasping her firmly by her shoulders, I gently coerced her to the bed, which she all-too-eagerly accepted. Nicole lay down on the bed, her body poised like a Renaissance painting, leaving me wondering if I should have rammed her at that moment or just stood there, appreciating the sheer beauty that lay before me.

My lust won me over as I crawled over to her, my hand lingering behind me so I could make sure she was ready for me. At first contact, I could tell that Nicole was ready for me. As I felt over her slit in such a gentle fashion that she moaned in frustration, I could feel her wetness and her engorged slit, which spoke for themselves, supplemented by her moaning. However, I did not stop, but instead just pushed hard enough so that my fingers barely entered her, rewarding me with a small, frustrated moan from her. With an agonizing slow speed, I pumped my fingers in and out of her while my thumb found its way to her clit and gently started rubbing.

Nicole was squirming at this point, and I loved every little motion she would make as I continued my teasing. Every little expression her face made displayed a mix of sexual frustration, ecstasy, and all-around beauty. I could have watched it forever, but it was time to move on to the main event. Slowly taking my fingers out of her, I crawled up to Nicole and gently kissed her lips, placing my hands on opposite sides next to her head, positioning myself. She reached down and grabbed my shaft, all too eager to guide me in. Breaking the kiss, I smiled at her.

“Are you sure you want this?” I asked her softly. It may have been a dumb question, but I figured it was a good policy to always ask the girl.

She playfully frowned, but I could tell she was glad I made a habit of asking. “I definitely want this.” She responded quietly, yet with power. I nodded as I started to push forward, guided by her hand. I was met with resistance but, watching her face to make sure I was never hurting her, thrust forward until I was fully inside her.

She winced at first, and sensed my panic. “Don’t worry, hotshot.” She said, her voice reflecting that she was still in a bit of pain. “I’m just naturally tight, and you’re not exactly small. Just gimme a sec.”

Despite my lust, I waited until her expression eventually softened and she opened her eyes to look at me. Nervously biting her lower lip, she simply nodded at me, giving me her consent to continue.

It’s true, Nicole was incredibly tight. Being inside her was a sensation that was not easily describable. It felt incredibly warm, like it should have hurt but instead just gave me an amazing sense of pleasure. Her love tunnel seemed to have its own way of caressing my manhood as I slowly began to pump it in and out of her.

“Oooooh, Adam…” Nicole moaned. “That’s good, that’s so good.”

Nicole was lost in her own world of euphoria almost immediately. Every slow stroke of mine into her was savored, by myself and by her. Each and every one was met before long with a small thrust of her hips that quickly evolved into becoming a bigger thrust, though I noticed Nicole was being quieter this time.

While pumping in and out of her, I also observed her for a bit before noticing that she was definitely holding back. “Are you okay?” I asked her, stupidly not stopping as I did so.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me, still lightly panting. “Yeah, I’m good.” she answered breathlessly. “I’m just trying not to moan too much. Mom and dad won’t be able to hear the bedsprings but they would totally hear my moaning from their bedroom.” She emitted a moan without warning before continuing. “That would make for an ugly situation. Now fuck me harder, dammit. Are you really that worn out?”

Was that a challenge? I narrowed my gaze, a small smile brewing on my lips. So Nicole was trying to hold back her moaning, huh? Suddenly, all of my concern for our secrecy went flying out the window as I suddenly picked up speed and power.

Nicole, not expecting me to go quite so hard on her, let a small yet loud moan escape from her lips before she covered her mouth with her hand. I made no effort to slow down, let alone stop, as I continued to drill Nicole’s pussy, each thrust seemingly more powerful than the last.

Nicole was really struggling to hold back her moaning at this point. I took this as a sign of my victory as I doubled my efforts, causing Nicole to literally bite her tongue to prevent her from moaning. Her hands desperately clung to my back to cope with my increased efforts as I pumped in and out of her with even more ferocity. I was getting o the point where my muscles were starting to cramp, but some sort of power kept me going.

Maybe it was the fact that I, for once, had power over Nicole, and just wanted to enjoy it. I certainly was not about to give it up. Despite my pains and cramps, I found the energy to go even faster, to the point where my shaft was a blur drilling Nicole for all its worth. I felt her fingernails digging deeply into me. It probably would have been painful if I wasn’t so engrossed in pounding the hell out of her.

Before long, Nicole started to say something, but her words kept devolving into moans due to my ferocious assault on her pussy. This continued for about a minute until I finally slowed down to let her speak without alerting her parents.

“You made… your point… you jerk.” Nicole panted out. I could tell she wasn’t really angry, though. “Slow down… but keep…. giving it to… me deep. I’m getting close…” She snarled in a hungry fashion.

I complied. I slowed down to just below an average pace but went deeper with each thrust. I think I went deeper than I ever have before. Nicole was still attempting to hold back her moans, though the feeling in the room changed from animalistic lust to pure passion. We were no longer just screwing, it was… something else.

Despite going slower, I was sliding in and out of Nicole more easily, which meant her fluids were coming in waves. Nicole was close.

“Mmmmmm…” She couldn’t help but let one moan go. “Adam, just a little faster.”

I complied, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead as I did so.

“That’s good that’s good that’s goooood…” She groaned. “Now harder. Go harder.”

I pushed into Nicole until it hurt. I prayed that she would come soon, because truth be told, it was starting to take its toll on me. Taking my mind away from the pain, I focussed on my pleasure and found that I was really close as well. Servicing myself, I picked up speed and started to thoroughly screw Nicole again, and continued to do so until I felt a stirring sensation. I was going to cum.

My warning came in a barely audible exhale, but Nicole picked it up.

“Me too, Adam. Do it now.”

I started to feel weak and pleasure filled me in waves as I felt myself empty into her. At the same time, Nicole stiffened and and let out a satisfied ‘Mmmmm.’ We just came together.

“Oh, Adam…” Nicole blissfully sighed. “I love you.”

There it was again. “What… did you say?” I weakly asked, still trying not to black out.

“I said I love you, god dammit.” Nicole repeated firmly yet lazily, her eyes still closed while in the throes of her own orgasm. Well, confirmed: I didn’t just hear things last time. She definitely said that she loved me.

I started to respond but, realizing how out of breath I was, I collapsed on top of her and began to catch my breath. In response, she just held my head and stroked my hair while my breathing finally returned to normal.

For a while, we just lay there. Even after my breathing returned to normal, we just lay there with me on top of her and her stroking my hair. Eventually I pulled myself up off of her and managed to plop myself down next to her.

“Oh, by the way, your back is kinda bleeding.” Nicole said nonchalantly.

“Wait, what?? How?” I asked frantically.

In response, Nicole showed me her nails. I got up from the bed and inspected my back in the full-length mirror her parents had. My back was covered in scratch-marks, most of them oozing blood. Nicole shyly walked up behind me.

“Did I do thaaaaaat…?” She asked in a comical nerdy voice. I just gave her a confused look. She blew me off and walked back to bed. I followed.

After laying in bed for a few more minutes, she broke the silence. “This bed is a lot comfier than mine.”

I nodded without saying anything. She responded by shifting to face me. “Say something.” she ordered.

“Huh?” I asked, shifting to look at her.

“Well, I mean, I’m saying stuff, and now I’m out of stuff to say. Your turn.” Nicole responded flatly.

“So basically you feel awkward that we just did it in your parents’ room and what me to break the tension?” I asked, poking her playfully in the ribs and smiling.

“You know me too well, hotshot.” She replied, poking me back. “Now go.”

“Okay, but you asked me to.” I warned her. “So you totally said it again.”

“Said what?” She asked me.

“I love you.” I quoted her. “You totally said it this time.”

“I don’t recall.” She replied, feigning a look of confusion. “Do you just want to hear it so much that you’re imagining things?” She asked, winking at me.

“I got you to repeat it, Nicole. C’mon, don’t play dumb.” I said, a little more forcefully. “You even added your trademark ‘God dammit’ to the seconds one.”

Nicole sat upright and thought for a second, then her eyes lit up. “Ooooh, THAT time I said it.”

“So you admit you said it?” I asked, wondering if we were opening a can of worms here. After all, it may have been mostly my orgasm talking, but I was definitely about to say it too.

“Yeah, of course I said it. But I only meant as a friend.” She explained. “Duh. I figured you would assume that much. Maybe I need to get you a book on street smarts too, squirt.” With that, she playfully messed with my hair and lay back down on the bed, facing away from me.

Well, at least she and her parents had something in common. I didn’t get her.

***

With Carson and I becoming better friends, I had definitely wanted to hang out with him over the Christmas break, but I had no such luck. Over most of the Christmas break, he was away visiting family. I, of course, had to find out from his dad. I’m not sure why I wasn’t expecting anything else from Carson.

However, on the final day before school started up again, I was lucky enough to catch him on a day he wasn’t busy.

“Fuck, am I ever not ready for school.” He said glumly as we finished another Halo match. “It feels like yesterday the break began.”

I laughed in agreement. “No kidding. You still owe Mr. Graves, what, three assignments?”

“Whatever. I don’t care.” He said disinterestedly as he put down his controller.

I followed suit. “You know, it was really kind of him to give you those extensions. Maybe you should finish them.”

“Yeah, I should.” He replied. “But I won’t. Not my fault his assignments are boring as shit. There’s no real reason for me to do them.”

“You seem kind of bitter, dude.” I noted. “You okay?”

He waved me off. “Yeah, I’m fine, buddy. I’m just tired. I only just got back.”

“Oh, right.” I said flatly. “How’s the rest of the family?”

“Y’know… They’re family.” He said in a tired manner.

“Well… Did you do anything cool while you were down there? Meet any cool people?”

“Nope.” came his reply. Sometimes, as much as I liked Carson, it was really hard to have a conversation with the guy.

“Well, looking forward to school?” I asked him, hoping to find some kind of topic that might rekindle his energized spirit.

“Classes? Fuck no. I mean, maybe for May, but that’s it.” he replied.

“Wait, May?” I asked him. “I thought you two had broken up.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we did. She just wasn’t ready. But being away from home for a while gives a guy some time to think, and I’m not ready to give her up. I’m gonna keep trying, and I’m gonna get her.”

“You sound certain you’re going to end up with her.” I noted, trying to hide the bitterness in my tone.

Carson nodded. “I always do.” He told me.

Our conversation died out as we picked up the controllers again and resumed our game. A few minutes later, the door opened. I had assumed it was Mr. Carter at first, but someone completely different entered.

It was a girl of maybe 17, possibly 18, with brown hair flowing right down to her ass. I had to admit, she had quite the shapely figure, a very adult one, like she looked older than she was. A serious, almost stern yet still beautiful face helped supplement this look. She was carrying several heavy-looking bags, travel bags or something, with her into the kitchen. “I’m home!” She announced, unaware of my presence in the house just yet.

“You’re late.” Carson dryly replied. “A few weeks late.”

“Well, what if I didn’t want to see the rest of our family? Maybe I’ve got more important things to do. Let me guess, you’re playing Halo right now.” she snapped back. Even her tone was naturally stern.

“I don’t think they’d want to see you either.” Carson replied in an annoyed tone.

“You are such an asshole.” The girl snapped back. “I’d rather hang out with Craig than you.”

“Yeah, so would his new girlfriend.” Carson shouted back across the house, now with more of a humorous tone in his voice.

The girl was removing things from her bag as she continued. Clearly, these two were not used to having the good manners of talking face to face. “Are you shitting me?! Poor girl.” She grabbed her bags and went upstairs, not even noticing me.

“Who was…?” I asked Carson, gesturing to the staircase.

“Jenna, my sister.” Carson explained. “Decided she’d rather hang out with mom over the Christmas break than with the rest of us. Good riddance.”

“Don’t like her?” I asked him humorously.

“Oh my God, have you SEEN her?” Carson asked with a renewed angry energy in his voice. “To everyone else in the fucking world, she’s just another grade 11. But no, to her, she’s queen of everything, and everyone else is just a piece of dirt under her foot.” He scoffed. “Every once in a while, she stays at dad’s for a week, to gloat about the newest mediocre thing she did in bio or something.”

“She can’t be that bad…” I trailed off.

“Dude. She hung out with mom instead of the whole freaking family because she figured we weren’t worth her time. Seriously. Fuck her.” He angrily grabbed his controller. “Are we gonna play or what?”

When Carson was angry, he found a way to complain about everything in the first twenty minutes of his tantrum. The next twenty minutes was just silence. Then the trough hit, where he wouldn’t want to do anything but just sit and stare at a wall for the next half hour.

During that trough, Jenna came back downstairs, and sat down in the living room. When her eyes clapped on me, she did a double take.

“Oh. Hello.” She said formally. “Who are you?”

“Oh, sorry! I’m Adam, Adam Watson.” I reached forward to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

She made no effort to reach her hand out to meet mine. “Jenna Poursanidis. Pleasure.” She said disinterestedly. “Carson, don’t you have to do all of your chores before having guests over?”

“I did all of my chores, Jenna.” Carson replied, his anger quickly building again.

“The dishwasher’s full.” Jenna replied condescendingly. “You’re supposed to empty it.”

“I already emptied it today!” Carson exclaimed, annoyed.

“Well, it’s full again, so empty it.” She replied, annoyed as well. Right in that situation, I wanted to shrink and leave under the door. I felt awkward as all fuck.

“Then I guess dad filled it twice today. It’s not my job to empty it twice in one day. If it’s bothering you so much, you do it.” Carson replied bitterly. “Could we please not do this while I have someone over?”

“Well, at least you’re not trying to have sex with this one.” Jenna replied, eyeing me up and down. “As far as I know.”

“Oh my God, I can’t fucking deal with this.” Carson said, putting his head in his hands.

I took over, a rare occurrence for me. “Dude, it’s okay.” I said, clapping a hand on his back. “Dishes can wait. Do you wanna watch The Avengers? I’d be down for that.”

I knew Carson pretty well by this point, and knew he was never not in the mood to watch that movie. It was like his Bible. Instantly, he perked up, but not by much. “Sure, yeah, whatever. I’ll go get it.” He replied, still clearly upset but hopefully on the path to getting better. With that, he trudged off to his room.

As soon as he was out of eyeshot, I sighed and made my way to the kitchen. By now, I had a vague idea of where things needed to go, and hated conflict, so I opened the dishwasher and started to put stuff away. Jenna followed me.

“That’s not your job, you don’t have to do that! Don’t just cover up for Carson because he’s lazy.” Jenna said. Her words were condescending, but I noted her tone reflected actual care. Did I have a gift for tone or was the rest of the world stupid? Maybe Nicole was rubbing off on me.

I turned back and smiled at her. “Yeah, but if I don’t put these away, it’s never going to get done. Besides, Carson forgot that last time I was here, I hid The Avengers under his bed.”

She smiled back. “Well, thanks. Let me help.” She went right to work, helping me put the dishes away.

“So, Poursanidis? Not Carter? If I may ask.” I asked her.

She nodded. “Mom’s last name. I always took after my mom more anyway.” She replied. “You didn’t hear this from me, but the Carter family is rude, stupid and misogynistic.” She sighed, holding a plate and not moving while in thought, before continuing. “Especially my out-of-state family. I feel sorry for whatever girl Craig is dating. Unless Carson’s lying, and that wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Damn, you guys hate each other.” I thought aloud.

Jenna was silent for a second. “Not hate.” She said finally. “Carson just needs to get his shit together. He needs a major attitude shift. Then again, all grade nines do.” She realized what she just said and whipped her head so her eyes could meet mine. “No offense.” She quickly added.

I would have said “None taken,” but that would have been a lie. Eventually, the dishwasher was done, and as Jenna closed it, I followed Carson into his room.

“You going to take forever?” I asked him as I approached his room.

“I can’t find it!” He said desperately. I walked into his room, reached under his bed, and pulled out the DVD.

He looked up and noticed, and his eyebrows met in a V shape. “Oh, you just suck.” He said, half-joking, half-serious.

I just laughed as I handed him the DVD. He held it in his hands for a few seconds before speaking. “Yeah, I just feel like May is the one for me. Not Natasha, not Tara, not anyone else.”

Woah, where did that come from? “Those are your past flings, I assume?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Natasha is, yeah.”

“…And Tara?” I asked.

He shrugged again. “I dunno. Random name I made up. Just making a point.” He rolled his shoulders and started to make his way down the hallway with me in tow.

“I mean, you have to admit, on top of everything else, May is fine as hell.” He added.

“Oh, trust me, dude, I know.” I replied. Even now, the thought of May still gave me the warm fuzzies and made me smile. I still would have given, and was giving, everything to become the type of guy she would want.

“What does that mean?” He stopped walking and turned to me, grinning. “You got a thing for her too?”

“Well…” I said, looking down at my shoes.

“Aw, buddy!” He said excitedly, punching me in the arm. “No way! The race is on, bro!”

“Race? What race?” I asked him.

“May the best man win, dude!” He answered. He started to walk back towards the living room as he added, “It’s cool you like her and all, but I’m totally going to get her first.”

“Ah, great, treating a girl like property.” Jenna interjected, sneering at Carson as we all entered the living room at the same time. “I’m sure she really appreciates that. Just like every other girl you pick up, bang, then never talk to again.” She shot me a ‘See what I mean?’ look and went off up the stairs, presumably to her own room.

“Ah, screw her.” Carson said, blowing her off. “We appreciate May. She just doesn’t get it.”

“Right.” I said, but only half-heartedly.

***

Going back to school after the break was actually easier than I had thought. I was on top of all of my classes so homework wasn’t an issue, and I actually enjoyed my classes and teachers.

As well, it was an opportunity to catch up with old friends. Carson and I reconnected of course, and May was in three of my classes. The one I didn’t get to reconnect with was Megan. She didn’t even show up for the first student council meeting of the new year, even though Matt did. Matt himself was eyeing me throughout the whole meeting. Not menacingly, but almost more so out of curiosity. It still creeped me out.

Tuesday was a much better day than that Monday. During first period, May and I continued a developing habit we shared – texting in class. It was a great way to spend boring class time as well as getting to know her, plus the little giggles she gave when I sent funny texts were priceless.

class is so boringggggg was the text she sent me about halfway through the class. Yup, her grammar was far from perfect.

Yeah, where are the interesting classes where I can just talk face-to-face with you all class and get graded on that? 😉 I replied. As I had come to realize, I was totally Megan – especially with the ‘competition’ thing Carson had mentioned, every text was basically a disguised plea to get May to know me better.

Luckily for me, though, it actually worked. lol, im not busy lunch. 🙂

My heart flew into my throat. Hell yes. I got to have some time alone with May freaking Stevens. The girl who can make all of my troubles go away with her smile alone. This was going to be awesome. I could barely hide my smile or control my fingers as I typed my response.

Great! 🙂 Where would you wanna go?

how about the small hall near the caf? 🙂 she replied. You mean the one that used to be for vending machines, but is now basically uninhabited now that they were moved? You mean in a hallway, alone together, where no one else goes? Sign me the fuck up!

***

It went off like clockwork. After second period math, I met up with May in the little vending machine hall. I didn’t dare tell Carson during math, since we were in the middle of our ‘competition,’ and he might try to use the fact that I’m meeting alone with May against me.

“Hey!” I said as casually as I could when I turned down that hallway and saw that May was already there.

“Oh, hey.” She replied, giving me a huge smile, outlining every beautiful feature in her face. Her hazel eyes dancing, her beautiful little freckles, her perfect white teeth, just everything. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Are you kidding?!” I blurted out. “Thank YOU!” I sat down next to her, and we began to make small talk about our lives as we ate our lunch.

For the next twenty minutes, we talked about everything: Classes, parents, friends, drama class, my new interest in karate, how she was thinking of getting an agent so she could get a head-start on her TV acting career, etc. Eventually ,as it always does with teenagers, the conversation turned to relationships.

“So why don’t you like Carson anyway? He’s a pretty good guy.” I figured by complimenting another guy in front of her, she might go for me in the long run. At the very least, it might disguise my motives.

She sighed. “I don’t know.” She said simply. “The date went well as far as dates go. It’s just… I don’t think I like that kind of guy. You know, all flashy and stuff. I like people who are confident, but I guess he was… too confident?” She sighed again. “I don’t know if I’m making sense.

“No, you’re fine.” I smiled at her. “Go on.”

“Well, Carson is really cool, but he seems like he’s just sort of… ‘that’s all,’ you know? I felt like I knew him from just our first date. I knew who he was, I knew what he wanted, I felt like I knew everything about him. From there on in, it just wasn’t interesting.”

“You feel like you know him already?” I asked. “Well, you’re one up on me.”

She laughed. “You two know each other well?”

I nodded. “We’re friends.”

She nodded, then looked down at her lunch. After a bit, she sighed again and started putting her lunch away. “I don’t know. I just feel like a bad person. Like, there’s nothing wrong with Carson. He’s a great guy, but I want a guy who is less… cardboard. More like he can really appreciate me as a real person. Someone who is a cool guy, but at the same time, I feel like I want to get to know more, not less.”

“Someone like who?” I asked her.

She shifted around in her seat, clearly nervous. “Someone like…” She started nervously, looking me straight in the eyes. “Someone like you.”

Nope. No way. Absolutely no freaking way. I was midway between having one of my increasingly rare panic attacks, and having Handel’s La Rejouissance playing throughout my whole body. Truth be told, I didn’t even get why the only females in my life all found me attractive, but especially in this case, I sure as hell wasn’t complaining!

May. May Stevens. Liked Adam Watson. The shy nobody. I still couldn’t believe it. Breathlessly, I managed to choke out, “Really?”

May nodded, tracing her eyes down my arms. I think she noticed the lifting I had been doing. I guess even a month in, it was starting to show. God damn, I was just loving life. The girl of my dreams, the one who made my heart sing like never before, said she liked me.

“So you… L-like me?” I managed. May showed a small smile, and nodded again.

“Do you like me too?” She asked quietly.

Even if I wanted to use words, I couldn’t find any in that moment, but something in me just told me to go for it. In one motion, I put my arms around her and pulled May, May Stevens, in for a kiss. I just had to. In that moment, it felt so incredibly right.

As soon as our lips touched, I swear there were fireworks. I had never felt so happy in my entire life. If May hadn’t melted in my arms, I definitely would have melted in hers. The feeling was so intense, you could hear the air crackling. I may sound like a sap, but I could have honestly stayed there forever.

As our lips departed, our eyes slowly opened as we stared into each others’ eyes. no words were said. No words were needed. May and I did it. We were finally together.

Both of us were staring into each others’ eyes in a daze before a loud cough broke us out of our trance. I turned my head down the hallway to see the one person I hope I wouldn’t: Megan Schneider.

Megan had always looked sweetly innocent in the past, but right now she looked pissed. Like, full-on angry. It was something I had never really seen before, and it intimidated me like hell.

The fact that she spoke calmly while donning such an angry face intimidated me even more. “May, do you know what you’re doing?” She asked May calmly.

I groaned internally. This was NOT going to be good. “Excuse me?” May asked in an offended voice. “This is none of your business.”

“He kissed you, didn’t he?” Asked Megan, folding her arms.

May stood up and proudly stuck out her chest. “What, jealous?” May challenged her. “Yeah, he did. What are you going to do about it?”

I looked around. Of course we would happen to be in the only hallway in the school that only had one exit. The other way was pretty much a dead end, and Megan blocked my only exit. I would just have to power through this.

“Nothing!” Megan proudly, almost arrogantly, declared. “I just thought you should know who he really is.”

May snuck a look back at me and surveyed my expression. “What do you mean?” She asked Megan in a less confident voice. Megan was playing her cards right – the status quo was shifting.

“Just a few weeks ago, your precious Adam was getting blown by me in the nutrition room.” Well, wave good-bye to the shy Megan Schneider; I officially had no idea who I was dealing with at this point. “You can’t trust him. He can’t commit and he manipulates girls to get his way.”

Anger boiled up from within me and erupted like Vesuvius. “That’s a lie and you know it!” I yelled at Megan, taking some of her confident attitude down. “You tricked me into going into that room. You told me you were going to blow me and didn’t take no for an answer, even when I initially refused. You said it was no-strings-attached, then only after got mad at me because you couldn’t handle your own emotions. You manipulated me, Megan! YOU manipulated ME to get your way. Then you got mad at me and apparently, blabbed to…” I trailed off. Do I say ‘my girlfriend’? Nah, that would be too presumptuous. “…May, just so you could get some sense of twisted satisfaction!”

Megan was taken aback at this point, and I was glad to see from her expression that May was, at least, somewhat back on my side. However, I could tell this was far from over when Megan regained her former confident attitude and folded her arms again.

“Oh really? Do you have the same excuse for Nicole?” She challenged me.

The color visibly drained from my face. She knew about Nicole and I? Since when?!

May turned back to look at me. Potential hurt was in her eyes. “The camera girl?” She asked me weakly. “You said you were just friends.”

I challenged Megan with my eyes. She was just guessing. She had to have been. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I told her stiffly.

Megan chuckled menacingly. “Oh really? What, you don’t remember fooling around with her in the Student Council office, or trying to hold her hand afterwards?”

Son of a bitch. Fuck. FUCK! I KNEW I was paranoid for a reason. She was watching us the whole time. I tried to formulate a response, but nothing came out.

“Adam… Tell her she’s wrong.” May’s ever-weakening voice piped up.

I looked at her, my face slowly turning sadder. She cleared her throat. “Tell her she’s wrong, Adam.”

I couldn’t do it. She was taking it completely out of context, but I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say she was wrong.

I could see May’s eyes welling up. “Please, Adam?” She begged. “You’re not that kind of guy, right?”

Megan immediately went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay.” she comforted her. “You didn’t know. I just figured you should know before anything else might happen.”

“Fuck you!” I yelled at Megan. “You’ve turned her against me. You’ve taken everything out of context.”

“So you admit it’s true!” Megan spat back.

May slowly looked up at me. “Adam…. I just shared my first kiss with you. That’s something really special to me. Now I find out it’s worth nothing to you. That I’m worth nothing to you. You ruined my first kiss.”

“May, you’re worth a lot to me! I swear!” I protested. “You’re special to me!”

“Am I?” She asked, her sadness turning into anger. “I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me for me. But no, I’m just another notch in your bedpost.” Convincing herself Megan was right, she got angrier and angrier until she bolted forward and pushed me into the wall, suddenly very angry at me. I was able to steady myself against the wall, but May looked like she wasn’t done. “Damn you, Adam Watson!” she yelled as she bolted forwards again. “Damn you to hell!”

“Woah, woah, woah!” A random grade 12 guy with long hair almost covering his face stepped forward, grabbing May by the shoulders and pulling him back. “No need for that stuff in this school. Keep it together, you two.” He turned to May. “I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s not worth it. Just calm down, go to the washroom if you need to, to freshen up or something. Classes start soon.” May threw herself from his grip as she stomped away. The grade 12 approached me. “What’s the story?”

“A lot of stuff. Out of context. Private stuff.” I simply answered, barely able to process what just happened myself.

The senior nodded. “Alright, I get you.” He simply said. He actually looked kind of familiar, but I couldn’t place where I last saw him. “I don’t know what you did, but watch yourself.” He cautioned me as he walked away, leaving Megan, myself, and the small crowd we managed to gather.

With her still staring at me, I gathered my stuff together and pushed past Megan to get to my next class. I stopped and turned back to her to see she was still facing me. “What is wrong with you?!” I angrily asked her.

She almost looked sorry, but held her ground. “I said nothing but the truth.” She simply said. “You used Nicole for intercourse, you’re using my feelings for intercourse. You would have done the same for May too. You think you care, but-”

I didn’t want to listen anymore. With her in mid-sentence, I stomped away, not unlike how May herself did. Megan was wrong, and rash, and downright mean. And it cost me my dream girl.

The only thing I felt was anger at Megan until I remembered something May had said. I had ruined her first kiss. Just a few months ago, I was mad as hell at Nicole for basically the same reason, and this situation was much bigger. Of course May was angry with me.

God dammit, I ruined May’s first kiss. I understood what that felt like. No wonder she was so angry with me. I was fooling around with multiple girls, and even though Megan blowing me wasn’t even my fault, I managed to screw up everything.

How? I wasn’t even THAT much of a dick… The universe just must hate me, I reasoned with myself. If Megan wasn’t there at lunch… Or if Megan just kept her feelings to herself… Or if she hadn’t even blown me when I told her no! It was Megan’s fault, really.

***

The last two classes went by awkwardly as hell. I wouldn’t dare look at May in either class, which was a real challenge in drama class. I managed to do it, but I was caught in this weird state between self-blame and anger towards Megan. I had no clue who to be angry at anymore, all I knew was that I was angry. And sad. Eugh… Everything was screwed up, and it all came from nothing. How did everything turn to shit so fast?

At least I still had Nicole. No matter what, I wouldn’t lose Nicole. Hell, I could even tell her about the whole thing and she’d know just what to say. I was so grateful, more grateful ever at that moment, to have Nicole. I was truly blessed to know that she was still there for me, and wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

***

After school, Nicole was waiting outside the weights room for me. When she saw me, she cheerfully waved.

“Hey squirt! How was your day?” She asked me chipperly as she opened the door to the empty weights room and flicked on the light.

“Well-”

“I’m just kidding, I don’t care.” She told me with a wink. I got in and threw my stuff down. God, how was I going to tell her?

When she closed the door, meaning just the two of us were in there, her mood visibly shifted. Suddenly, she was a lot less chipper. Almost… Worried. Conflicted? I couldn’t tell.

“You okay?” I said shakily as she eyed the floor.

She looked up at me with a somewhat glazed expression. “Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry. Long day. A lot on my mind.” She reached into her bag and pulled out the CD I got her for Christmas. “I figure some music might help cool the nerves, huh?” She gave me a small smile as she walked over to the CD player in the weights room and popped in the CD. After she pressed play, Poison Arrow by ABC filled the room.

“Ready to start lifting?” She asked me. “If you wanna do the set, I’ll spot you.”

“Actually…” I began slowly, not quite knowing how to form the sentences I wanted to say. “Actually, before we start, I’ve got some news.”

“Uh oh.” She said, only half playfully. “Do you have news or do you have news?”

“…What does that even mean?” I asked her.

“Never mind.” She said dismissively. “Actually… I’ve got some news too.”

I definitely needed that distraction. Hopefully, she would forget I even said I had news. I so desperately wanted to tell her, yet at the same time, I didn’t know how I would phrase it. I had never been such a complicated mess of negative emotions in my life, and while I wanted to expel them all, I also wanted to keep them bottled up… I don’t know why. Perhaps in fear that they would unleash something awful, or make her sad, or start something bad… well, worse.

“Oh, okay.” I said, a little too eagerly. “You want to go first?”

“Sure.” She shrugged, becoming noticeably more uncomfortable. “You sure you wanna hear it?”

I nodded. “You help me with all of my problems. I might as well at least listen to yours.”

She smiled at me. “Thanks, squirt.” She said warmly. “Well… I… uh…” she started fiddling with her hands.

I’d seen Nicole nervous before, but never this nervous. Whatever this was, it sure was causing a battle in her mind. “C’mon, Nicole.” I humorously said. “You were the one to teach me to just man up and say it.”

Nicole nodded seriously and cleared her throat nervously. “Well… The thing is…” She paused to take in a breath. “Today, a big thing finally happened. And I dunno how to feel about it.”

“What happened, Nicole?” I asked, suddenly concerned. Was she hurt? Was she okay?

“Phil kissed me.”

Chapter Eight

For the first few seconds after she told me, I couldn’t perceive anything. For all I knew, I couldn’t see, think, or hear. My mind refused to process what I had just heard. In retrospect, I guess I should have been grateful to Nicole. What she just told me seemed to render my problems unimportant.

“He what?!” I finally managed to ask.

Nicole shrugged. “Phil kissed me.” She said, a little bit too emotionlessly.

“I thought you… I didn’t know… Were you…” I managed to say. This caused Nicole to gave me a soft chuckle.

“Oh, come on, you big baby.” She remarked. “It’s not that bad.”

“But I didn’t know you liked him or anything.” I replied. “I didn’t know you wanted him to kiss you!”

Nicole shifted where she was standing uncomfortably.

Within a second it dawned on me. “He kissed you without your consent, didn’t he?”

Nicole was trying to make a point (whether it was to me or to herself, I wasn’t sure) of not showing any emotion whatsoever. Wordlessly, with a blank face, she shrugged.

“You should have told him something! Are you okay?” I asked persistently.

“Yeah, of course I’m okay, squirt.” she replied flatly.

“Why didn’t you say anything to him after?” I asked her, coming a bit closer to her.

Again, she shrugged. “I dunno. It’s like, I didn’t want him to, but I never said it was bad either.”

“Well, did you like it after?” I asked. For some reason, I didn’t want her to say yes.

She shrugged yet again. “I dunno.” She repeated.

Apparently I had to do all of the talking. “So… What’s going to happen? Are you two gonna stay friends?”

Nicole shrugged again. Her shrugging actually got to me by this point. “Well, like, it did kinda feel…” she trailed off.

“Feel what?” I asked her. “He kissed you without making sure you were even okay with it. Why didn’t you just shut him down?”

“I dunno.” She replied. Her shoulders were going inwards at this point. She was clearly uncomfortable.

“He didn’t threaten you or anything, did he?” I asked her.

Her eyes shot straight up at mine. “No! No, nothing like that.”

“Then what? I asked her.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, okay?” She blurted out angrily, then immediately softened. “I just… I dunno how to feel right now. I just don’t.”

The most important thing I took from that was that Nicole was upset. Without a second thought, I walked up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She looked up from the ground into my eyes with an unsure look on her face. Seconds later, we were wrapped in a tight hug.

“You going to be okay?” I asked her sympathetically.

“Oh, shut it.” She replied angerlessly. We stayed in the hug, unmoving, until she decided to speak again. “I just… Look, I don’t know my own feelings right now, okay?” She broke off the hug. “Phil asked me out for next Tuesday night, a week from now. I haven’t answered yet, but… I dunno.”

“Do what you feel is right and I’ll support you.” I told her seriously.

“I know, dumbass.” She replied. “I just… I dunno. I dunno how to feel. He forced himself on me. He kissed me without me being okay with it. I shouldn’t wanna do this.”

“It’s okay.” Was all I could think to respond.

She gave me a sarcastic smile. “Thanks, I feel so much better.” She dryly replied.

I shrugged. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what to make of the situation.

We stood in silence with the music echoing throughout the room for a solid ten seconds before Nicole spoke up again. “So… I wasn’t the only one with news. What’s up?”

Oh, crap. I wasn’t sure whose news was worse for me. Suddenly, I really didn’t want to tell her, and looked around at the room, as if something could have saved me from telling her. Recognizing defeat after realizing there was no other option, I spoke up, not quite knowing how to begin.

“Well… Okay, well…” I nervously began. Nicole was obviously impatient, but being a good sport, kept up an attentive face as I struggled. “Well, May, she… She kissed me today too.”

“Woah, twinsies!” Nicole blurted out. She didn’t smile at first, but after holding her hand out for a high five, let a small one slip. “You earned it, hotshot. Up top!”

“Yeah, well…” I started nervously.

Nicole lowered her hand. “What? Now you got guilt? Yeah, you were shallow, but you got her now, dude. Just treat her right and you’ll forgive yourself. Just don’t be a prick again.”

“Well…” My word of the day. “Right after I did, Megan… Well, she was her kiss me and confronted us… She said everything… She saw us, Nicole, she fucking saw us!”

I was breathing heavily at this point, worrying that my panic attacks might be making a comeback. Nicole’s expression, however, showed only confusion. Clearly what I just explained and what was in my head were two different things. With a few intakes of air, I slowed down and explained everything. Nicole sighed when my explanation was over. “Oh, boy.” She said, her tone deciding not to show where she was going to go next.

“Squirt, let me level with you…” She began calmly, but lost that calmness immediately. “What were you thinking?! I told you to NOT be the asshole who hurts her. I’m not even sorry you lost May. You deserve it.”

Fuck. That was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. With a tiny voice, I managed to ask, “Why…?”

“Do you even listen, Adam? When a girl is upset, you comfort her. If Megan was avoiding you, that was a clear sign to approach her and make sure she was okay. This whole thing could have been avoided if you just showed a little kindness.” She gave me a look of bitter disgust. “For once. Plus, if one girl blows you one week, don’t get another girl to do something with you the next. It’s common fucking knowledge.”

We stood in continued music-filled silence before Nicole got fed up with the CD player and shut it off. She sighed, calming down yet still angry. “I forgave you too quickly last time.” She faced me, malice in her eyes. “My mistake. If you’re going to keep treating girls like crap, I don’t want to hang out with you. Go find your own ride home.”

I couldn’t protest, I couldn’t speak. I could only look into her eyes, which I found to be cold and empty. I didn’t get to look at them for long before she turned around and promptly left the weight room.

Shit. Before realizing what I was doing, I was running after her.

“Nicole, wait! Please, wait!” I pleaded as I ran down the hallway. A couple of seniors responded to what they could only presume as a bad breakup or a couple’s fight, and gave me an “Oooooh!” of public shaming as I approached her.

“Look, Adam.” Nicole started, still walking. “I want you to learn your lesson. Just…. We can talk later, okay? Just not now.”

I grabbed her by the arm. “Nicole, everything’s been shot to hell for me today. I lost everyone else who matters to me. Please don’t tell me I’m losing you too.” I could feel tears coming on, but I held them back.

Nicole, unexpectedly, stifled a laugh. “Woah there, William Shatner.” She said sarcastically. “I used to think high school drama wasn’t a real thing. Now I see why it exists. Quit being so melodramatic, it’s not like I’m saying goodbye to you forever or anything. I just want you to learn, and I want you to know when you fucked up. And guess what?” She paused, stopped walking, and leaned in close to my face. “You fucked up.” she whispered.

She leaned back and gave me a small smile, but this smile simply said ‘You know I’m right’ and had no warmth behind it. “Now please let go of my arm.” she told me. “Find your own ride home, and think about what you’ve done. I’m not going to forgive you this time until you actually see what you’ve done.”

“But Megan was… I…” I blubbered.

Nicole sighed. “I swear, I’m going to hang myself before you understand what ‘consequences’ are.” She shook herself free from my arm with one jerk. “Bye, Adam. I’m trusting you to talk to me when you accept that you’re only human.”

With that, she walked away. With Megan, it stung; with May, it hurt, but with Nicole, I couldn’t bear to face what just happened because Nicole always spoke the truth. I kept trying to deny it to myself, but at least to someone else, what I did was wrong.

I sighed aloud, not even caring who around me was staring and making their own backstory for Nicole and I at this point. I made for the main hall, sat down on one of the benches and buried my face in my hands, thinking about nothing and everything. I couldn’t even think about what had just happened, or who was the enemy, or whether I ACTUALLY fucked up. I could only sit there, every few minutes reminding me I should probably call my mom so that when she was done work in a few hours, she could pick me up. I never got the energy to do it.

“You alright?” Came a voice. I looked up to see the same senior from earlier, who broke up the inevitable fight between May and I. He had unusually long, kind of frizzy brown hair, and a face that showed perplexity as opposed to concern. I never noticed it before, but the guy wore all black.

“I’m fine.” I lied. “Missed the bus.”

The senior raised his eyebrows. “Not your day, is it?” He looked at his watch and made a motion. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride.”

“You don’t even know where I live!” I replied.

“It’s a long walk to my car. You can explain the route to me.” He retorted. “Would you like a ride?”

I had been so used to Nicole’s forceful attitude that a question asking my permission kind of caught me off guard. “Um… y-yes.” I said nervously.

“Alrighty! Let’s go mobile!” He said with a small smile, walking down the hallway. He waited for me to catch up with him, then proceeded to walk down the hallway.

“So, ready to tell me the story now?” He asked me, alluding to the situation with Megan earlier. I groaned out loud (without meaning to) and shook my head.

“I don’t really see how it concerns you.” I simply said, eyeing the floor.

The senior laughed. “Want me to introduce myself? That might clear a thing or two up.”

I shot him a confused look before nodding. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and outstretched his hand. Gingerly, I shook it. “Paul Stevens.” He smugly declared. I had all but a heart attack as I realized the implications of his last name. Still in the handshake, he leaned in and grinned. “Couldn’t you just die?”

He released my hand and laughed to himself. “Don’t worry, don’t worry.” he clarified. “I’m not mad or anything. If anything, I’m curious. I just want the story.” He continued walking, and I followed.

“So you’re May’s brother?” I asked him.

“Cousin, actually.” He clarified once again. “We actually don’t talk all that much.”

“But in the hallway… You talked to her like you don’t even know her! You said, ‘I don’t know who-‘”

“Check your memory.” He interrupted. “I said I didn’t know who you are, which is partially correct. Apart from karate, I’d never seen you before. But I’ve definitely seen May before.” He paused for effect. “Did you hear what you hear? Did you see what you see? You only heard what you believed you were hearing, without expecting the unknown. It’s called scotoma.”

It was cool being taught a lesson by literally everyone who walked into my life, but I frankly wasn’t ready for feel-good 90s-sitcom-Hell right now. “I don’t care about scotoma.” I replied bitterly.

“I don’t care much for driving.” He retorted with another smug expression. “Ready to tell me the story now?”

It really didn’t involve him, and I wasn’t a fan of how he talked like the world’s most pretentious philosopher. I just shrugged in response as he walked up to his car, a terrible-looking Dodge Caravan.

I was expecting him to hold my silence against me. “You still going to drive me home?” I asked.

He shrugged. “It’s the right thing to do. It’s amazing how many people forget how people are human beings. Now where do you live?”

I gave him my address and he cocked his head. “You might have to give me directions… I’ve never been there.”

The only things I said to him on the ride home were directions. Occasionally he would ask me a question that was obviously linked to the event that took place this afternoon, and I ignored it. He didn’t seem to mind.

“I assume this is your place?” He finally asked me. I nodded and he pulled right into the driveway.

“Alrighty, glad to see you got home safe.” He said warmly.

“Yeah.” I replied and opened the door, undoing the seatbelt and grabbing my backpack. I was halfway out of the car as he spoke again.

“And don’t worry.” He added. “You’re not the first, and definitely not the last, to be rejected by Nicole. Don’t take it personally.”

I stopped right where I was, and looked back at him. He took this as a sign and nodded sympathetically. After staring at him for a bit, I got back in the car with him. “What do you mean?” I asked as I closed the door.

He laughed and shut the car off. “Now you’re interested, huh?” He commented dryly, leaning his car seat back. “Yuppers. Ever since Jeff Love broke it off with her a year ago, she hasn’t been with a guy since.”

I thought back to that conversation she and I shared on the way to May’s house. That quickly turned into me remembering her telling me not to be an asshole to May, and I immediately flushed it from my mind. “She’s never had sex with anyone since?” I asked.

“Woah!” He gave me an incredulous look. “Wow, grade nines move fast these days. When I was your age, I don’t think I knew that sex existed.” I rolled my eyes. He was only three years older than me. “That’s not what I meant. I meant she never had a boyfriend since. It’s like he broke her, though things got worse for her this September. Not sure why.”

Mitch. That was why.

“I’m sure she’s had sex since Jeff.” He continued. “I don’t blame you for not knowing since you’re a grade nine and all, but if word around the school is to be believed, she’s kind of a slut.”

“She’s not.” Was all I replied.

He chuckled. “That’s cute of you to think that, but believe me, she is. It’s not a bad thing inherently to be a slut, but that’s what she is. Even so, guys upon guys have been asking her out, wanting a more emotional connection, and she’s rejected every one.”

“Including you?” I asked.

He laughed again. “Nope. I know my level, and it’s certainly not hers. I’m not what you call a popular guy. You think a guy with this kind of hair is popular?”

He kind of looked like a more unkempt version of Tarzan, dressed like a goth – all black. What a weirdo. I shrugged.

“But I see that as my advantage. I’m the eye in the sky. When you’re popular, you’re the center of attention. But I’m not, so I can observe whoever I want, and do what I want, without being noticed. Nicole is a fascinating one. Then again, so is Jerome…”

“What’s your point?” I asked him impatiently.

“Point? Didn’t realize I had one. The closest thing I have to a point is, don’t be disappointed. It’s not you. Nicole is most likely never going to sleep with you.”

I stifled a laugh.

“Plus, you didn’t hear this from me, but she is going to crash and burn someday. She can keep her insecurities close to her throughout high school, but one day, she’s going to blow, and nobody short of someone who does it for a living can save her at this point.” He continued. “Especially someone who goes after one girl one minute, then another the next.” He smiled at me, challenging me.

“That’s not how it happened!” I protested.

“Then how did it happen?” He asked, grinning.

“Megan and I had a thing, and a few weeks later, May confessed she liked me. Megan showed up, said a lot of out-of-context stuff. That’s all.”

Paul was nodding until a thought struck him, leaving him with a confused look on his face. “Where does Nicole come into this?”

“What do you care?” I asked him, though less angrily at this point.

“I’m curious.” He replied with a shrug. “Everyone has a story. You’re under no obligation to tell me yours, but I’m listening.”

I sighed. “We’re just friends.” I replied. “She got pissed with me over how the whole Megan and May thing blew up.”

“And May’s own favorite cousin isn’t even annoyed. Refreshing, isn’t it?” He leaned back into his chair and grinned at me.

I paused. “You’re her only cousin, aren’t you?”

“Yup.” He replied, then laughed. I joined in.

“Feel better?” He asked me after a silence.

“Nicole doesn’t wanna talk to me.” I admitted.

“Well, guessing Nicole’s morale, I think she wants you to take something from this.” Paul said thoughtfully. “Nicole’s sense of justice may not always be right, but god damn is it strong. She’s the type of person I could see in those women and gender studies classes in the future.”

I nodded.

“She might be right.” He continued.

“Huh?”

“Look at you. No offense, you’re a little bit of a mess because one friend won’t talk to you. Let me guess, you didn’t have many friends in the past, did you?”

I shook my head no. “How are you doing this?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “I want to be a psychologist when I’m older. Y’know, solve people’s problems from the inside.”

“Okay.” I said. “So what should I do?”

“I’m no expert, but I think a little time away from her might do you well, to be honest. It sounds like you’re overly dependent on her, and that can lead to little individuality in your future. Be your own person and accept the time to yourself.”

I was listening, but I wasn’t sure if that applied to me. It was at that moment that it dawned on me how emotionally tired I was, to the point where I stopped caring about anything. As a result, I shrugged and opened the door again.

“You live near here?” I asked, trying to make little conversation as I exited the car.

“Nope!” He replied. “I actually live on the other side of the school.”

“…Wasn’t this out of your way then?” I asked. “Like, twenty minutes out of your way? Forty going back?”

He shrugged. “You needed a ride home!” He said nonchalantly.

I smiled. What he did was genuinely sweet. “Thanks for the ride, Paul.” I told him.

“No worries.” He smiled back. “Hope everything goes well. Later!”

Yeah, everything going well. Good one. I sighed as I watched the car disappear from view, then with another sigh, walked towards my home. Paul’s speech helped a bit, but no amount of pretentious philosophy could change the fact that the three most important girls in my life were gone, indefinitely. To say that sucked would have been an understatement, like saying Amelia Earhart was a little lost.

Hey I texted to Carson, hoping to find some comfort in just about the one friend I had left.

Hey buddy! You need to step up your game 😉 Came the reply. It certainly wasn’t the response I was expecting.

What? I simply asked him in response.

Guess who managed to secure another date with May? 😉

Well then. Fucking well then. That was hypocrisy if I ever saw it. Sure, May, by all means get mad at me and then turn around and do the exact same thing. I was tempted to text back what May had done with me just today, but after readying the message I thought, why? What would that do except prove that I was no better than Megan? With the umpteenth sigh I made that day, I texted back Way to go, dude!, put the phone down and pulled out my homework.

***

The week that went by afterwards was something between awkward and hell. Keeping my stupid promise to Paul, I avoided talking to Nicole, and skipped out on karate sessions just to avoid being seen with her. I’m not really sure why, but I kept going to the gym, though. It meant being picked up late from school by my parents, but I still felt the need to do it.

However, I couldn’t avoid seeing her the next Monday, when we had our student council meeting. Classes went by extra slowly that day, to the point where all of my teachers made some kind of comment on it, with the exception of Mrs. Jackson. Mr. Carrozza’s was one of concern, Mr. Graves seemed impatient or angry that I wasn’t paying attention and asked me to explain myself after class, and Mr. Salvador told me straight-up that I could not be sad, since I was ‘letting my emotions get in the way of drama.’ Embarrassingly, he said this in front of the whole class. When he did, May gave me a look, which was odd for two reasons. Number one, it wasn’t a very warm or kind expression, but I couldn’t place exactly what the look reflected. Number two, it was the first time she even looked in my direction since Tuesday.

When the bell went, I immediately groaned. Well, here goes, I thought to myself as I envisioned Nicole’s cold, empty gaze and shuddered.

“Alright, that’s the bell.” Mr. Salvador called out to the crowd as students began to file out of the auditorium. “Adam, could you please stay behind?”

Crap. Everyone else in the aud left while giving me judgmental looks, while I, with little energy, trudged back to the stage area to face Mr. Salvador.

“Take a seat.” He told me. I complied.

He waited for a few seconds, then gestured outwards with his arms. “What’s going on?” He asked me calmly.

I sighed. “Just a bunch of stuff. It doesn’t matter.”

He gave a soft chuckle in response, but it didn’t seem all that friendly. “It matters when your attitude is disrupting the energy of the class!” He replied. “Drama is about commitment. It’s about leaving your ego outside. It’s a lot more than just putting on an act. And the act that you’re putting on right now is pretty poor.”

I simply hung my head, without even bothering to challenge him.

He continued. “When one person has lower energy, it lowers the energy of the whole class. You’re really undermining drama right now, and I need you to stop that.”

I sighed. There was no way I could contest him without looking like more of an asshat than I already definitely looked.

“That said…” He continued. “If there is something bothering you, and you would like to share it, this school is equipped with people who can help you. Is this a bad day, or has this been going on for a while?”

The conversation felt weird to say the least. I felt very vulnerable in front of Mr. Salvador. My go-to reaction to this was to defend myself, maybe try to even the status quo or even shift it in my favor. But a part of me also liked this vulnerability I was feeling.

“While.” I lamely answered.

He nodded. “Well, whatever it is, for your sake, I hope it clears up soon, because we can’t continue like this.” He eyed me seriously. “You understand that, right?”

“Yes.” I answered, wanting to answer with power, but still lamely.

“Good.” He replied. “My office is in the basement next to the Choir room if you ever need to chat. I’m usually here until six or seven, depending on the workload.”

I always took Mr. Salvador as some kind of family-oriented man, especially given how he was definitely past the casual dating years.The idea that he was single never really struck me, but the idea that he went home at around seven led me to believe he was either single or a bad husband.

“Okay.” I replied, glad this conversation was closing. “Thanks.” I slung my backpack over my shoulder and left, not even bothering to look at him as I left. “Take care!”

As I power-walked through the hallway, I checked my watch. I thought I was going to be awfully late for the meeting, but in actuality, I found that I would be right on time.

I felt a change in the atmosphere when I entered. Nicole, who normally gave me at the very least a chipper wave, was making it painfully obvious she was looking in every direction but mine. Megan had her head down – not sobbing, but definitely sad. Next to her sat the normally kind-faced Matt, who instead had his face twisted into a frown and was slowly shaking his head menacingly at me, one arm over his younger sister’s shoulder. Phil paused whatever idle chatter he was partaking in when I walked through the door, eyeing me up and down with a completely blank expression. No one else seemed to know what was going on, but the room still became more silent when I entered. As the noise died down, more eyes, some unkind, some confused, fell upon me. Hating the spotlight more than ever, I found a seat and quietly sat down.

As soon as I did, total silence swept over the meeting. No one dared say a word, even though about 80% of the people there had no clue why it was so silent. Phil cleared his throat and began awkwardly. “Alright, great, everyone’s here. Thank you all for showing up. Now… uh…” he began fumbling with his words. “Before we start, I just want to shed some light on some new developments. I hate to bring public attention to this, but it’s important that we function as a team, and as efficiently as possible.”

Worry crept into me and started eating me out from the inside. What the hell was this all about? I could only pray that the situation I was involved in wasn’t going to become larger than it already was.

“Adam…”

Shit. Shit shit shit. I don’t get how this whole thing could have blown up so fast. It was a blowjob, that’s it. Hell, a blowjob she asked to give me. I didn’t even get how it was possible to make such a big deal out of it.

“We understand that you’re having some personal conflicts with Megan Schneider.”

“Personal conflicts?!” Matt roared, standing up. “The guy made her blow him, made her feel like a sex object after, then was caught by her doing the same thing to another girl just a week later! This is my baby sister we’re talking about here!”

“Sit down, Matt.” Phil replied with a tired-of-this-shit voice. However, the words remained in my head. Do the same with May? Now that I considered it, Megan had no idea I even had a crush on May. I guess it did make a little sense that she thought I just wanted sex out of May… Though I never really just wanted sex out of Megan.

That’s what this whole damn thing was. One person’s misunderstanding after another. Megan misunderstood how to win me over, I misunderstood her true intentions, Megan misunderstood why I was with May, May misunderstood the true story of our past, and here I was, in a room full of people who were about to take the misunderstanding to the next level.

I couldn’t let that happen. I cleared my throat. “Uh, Phil, could I please set things straight for the record?”

“I can’t let you do that, Adam.” Phil responded sternly. “If you want to work things out, work them out with her.” He pointed to Megan.

“But if you don’t let me explain, everyone here is going to judge us for things we didn’t do. They’re going to make up stories, they’re going to think we did things we didn’t, and think we are people we aren’t!” I protested.

“Alrighty then.” Phil challenged me, narrowing his eyes. “Great. You want them to have the facts?” He walked over to the table in front of me and put his palms down on the table, leaning in to face me.

“Let’s start with how you were in a classroom after hours receiving oral sex. Something both parties should know is against the rules!” He aimed his last statement at Megan too. “Or how about how you didn’t check to make sure you knew what you were getting into. Or making her feel used afterwards, without so much as a ‘sorry,’ even after you saw her upset. Or not talking to her for a good solid week afterwards, not caring if she was still upset. Just as long as Adam Watson got his blowjob…”

That was the limit. “At least I asked for her consent before doing anything with her, rather than just doing whatever I want to Nicole without even making sure she was okay with it first!” I yelled into his face.

A few scattered gasps filled the room. The tension was unbelievable. Stupidly, I continued. “Yeah, I know about that. I know all about how even though Mr. President is talking up quite a storm, he still can’t handle it when he doesn’t get what he wants, so he takes it, whether or not she’s okay or even comfortable with it.”

I felt light-headed. I was challenging the most powerful person in the whole school, and I was winning. Phil’s look was stuck on furious, but his eyes showed what he truly felt at that moment: fear. He leaned back slightly, and didn’t say a word, palms still on the desk. He broke eye contact with me, and it was like a spell between us was broken. Phil eyed the floor for a few seconds, before beginning. “I-”

“What a load of crap!” Nicole interrupted, standing up from her seat. No one looked anywhere close to comfortable at this point. In the corner, Megan was softly crying. Nicole continued, walking up to Phil. “Phil didn’t even need my consent. I was practically begging for it. This fucking dweeb here must have seen us and is now just twisting the facts.”

Fuck. That was it. The moment of, without a doubt, losing Nicole. This was it. This was rock bottom. She just lied to the whole council if it meant protecting Phil instead of me. She made her choice.

“So you and Phil are a thing?” The nerdy-looking guy near the back asked Nicole.

“Fuckin’ A we are, Jeff.” Nicole beamed back at him. Jeff held up his hand for a fist bump and she enthusiastically returned it. Afterwards, sadly, the attention in the room returned to me.

“So what do we do with this fuckin’ liar?” Jeff asked Phil.

Phil stared at me. It was menacing, but also contemplating. He didn’t say a word.

“Why don’t we just, like, boot him out?” The dumb redhead piped up.

“He yelled in Phil’s face.” Eli observed. “Highly unprofessional for someone who represents the school.”

“I’m cool with kickin’ him out.” Jeff agreed.

Nicole looked me dead in the eye. “As long as we’re all in agreement.” She said, mostly to me. Her tone was about ten times colder than any ice the Earth could produce.

“No. We’re not.” Phil finally spoke up. “Yeah, he did some bad things, but that’s only strike one. He was still voted by the school to be here, and I say we give him one more chance to clean up his act.”

Phil. Phil, of all people, was defending me. I looked into his eyes and could see menace, but there was something else there. Like a grave understanding. Something about his eyes told me that Phil felt guilty about letting Nicole lie her way to clear Phil’s name, so he gave me once last chance.

Jeff piped up. “I don’t think-”

“This isn’t up for debate.” Phil barked back. “Just this once, this isn’t a democracy, because all of you would just vote him out. But I want to give him a second chance. Student council is about improving the school. It’s not about preserving the good kids, it’s about changing the bad. Adam is staying. Just this once, as President I’m gonna make that an order, not a vote.”

No one said anything.

“And no one is to treat Adam badly in or out of council meetings for this. But Adam here is going to clean up his fucking act, and come back next week proving to us all why I wanted to keep him. Isn’t that right, Adam?”

I was no longer confident. Hell, I was a bug. And with a bug’s voice, I sheepishly answered, “Y-yes, Mr. President.”

“Great.” He barked tiredly. “As I was saying, Adam and Megan won’t be working together for the rest of the year. Blah blah fucking blah. We won’t discuss this point again. MOVING ON…”

***

The fact that Phil advocated for my continued seat in the council meant jack squat when the meeting ended. Anyone who dared look me in the eye was giving me some kind of look of contempt. Truth be told, I would have preferred for Nicole to give me one. Just a look, just acknowledging my existence. But she didn’t. Avoiding eye contact completely with me without making it painfully obvious she was ignoring me, she packed up her stuff, looped her camera strap around her neck, and promptly left without another word. Phil followed soon after, in the same direction.

I was completely torn as to whether I disliked Phil. On the one hand, he got what he wanted from Nicole without making sure she was okay with it, and he made me look like an ass in front of the council. On the other hand, everything he said was true, he kept me on the council, he was a lot fairer with me than anyone else, Nicole included. Plus he seemed to actually make Nicole happy, even though she didn’t give her consent. I couldn’t reach a conclusion about how I felt towards him, but that didn’t matter for another week now.

Noting I was the last one left in the room after being given a couple of minutes to myself and my thoughts, I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder, glad I was out of that hell.

As I closed the door behind me, I sensed that I wasn’t alone again. More paranoid this time after what happened the last time , I shot a look behind me as I walked forwards down the hallway.

Out of nowhere, I felt something slam into me from in front of me (where I wasn’t looking), causing me to fall to the ground.

“Sorry. My bad.” I managed to get out, before looking up to see that the person I had walked into was Matt Schneider.

“Watch it, dork.” He snarled.

“I said I was sorry!” I protested. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“You’ve got a lot more to be sorry for.” He told me ominously. “You may have Phil fooled, but you screw up one more time and I swear, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” I asked him, coming to my feet. “Phil told you not to treat me differently for this. Why can’t you just accept that the past happened and leave me alone? I’ll leave your sister be, I swear.”

“You’re right. You will.” He agreed, coming in close to face me. “And if you don’t, you’ll be in for a world of hurt, I can promise you that. Hurt my sister again, and you’ll wish you’ve never been born.”

I swallowed hard, but held my ground. “I guess I won’t have to worry about that.” I said, looking into his eyes with a serious, stone-cold glance.

He nodded gravely. “Damn right.” He muttered as he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, I leaned against a wall and slid down, sighing sadly as I did so.

This was middle school all over again. This was exactly the kind of thing that happened in middle school. Whenever my name got too popular, I just ended up getting bullied. Beaten up. It looks like high school was going to be no different. I must have been an idiot for thinking that it would be.

I wasn’t even aware of it, but I was crying. I shouldn’t have tried out for student council. It actually gave me hope. I should have just accepted my fate as a nobody. I kept my head down just in case anyone saw me. I didn’t like to be seen crying.

Unfortunately, the universe didn’t care about what I liked and didn’t like, and soon I felt a hand caressing my back. I lifted my head up just enough to see who it was. The exact person I didn’t want to see anymore in my life – Megan Schneider.

“Oh, just go away.” I muttered bitterly, lowering my head again.

“I’m sorry.” She softly said.

“I don’t care.” I replied, my voice muffled from my head still being lowered. “Just go away.”

She didn’t say anything more, but kept caressing my back. After a while, I gave up trying to tell her to go away and just stayed there.

“May was more to you than another me, wasn’t she?” Megan asked after a while.

I was well aware of the implications of asking such a question. Megan was implying that to me, she was just a sex object. But I was too tired to try to better my image to her of all people at this point. “Yeah, she was.” I responded.

“I just assumed…” Megan trailed off. “I assumed you wanted to be with Nicole.”

“Hm.” I responded weakly. I wasn’t even going to bother with occupying my mind with that one.

“I’m sorry.” She repeated.

I lifted my head and tried to wipe away the tears with my hand. “I don’t care if you’re sorry.” I replied both bitterly and with fatigue in my voice. “Thanks to your overreaction, everyone in the council hates me, Nicole won’t look at me, May is out of my life and your brother wants to beat me up.”

Megan looked to the ground and scowled. “I’ll talk to him.” she told me. “I promise.”

“And then what?!” I asked her, the fury in my voice building. “Tell Nicole that we’re all good? Convince the whole council that I’m a good person, but not deny that what happened happened? You’re not going to be able to fix this, Megan. And now, I have to live with it.

Not you, me.”

Megan looked into my eyes and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m really sorry.” she repeated. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

“I don’t care about making it up to me.” I responded, shaking off the hug yet feeling my fury die down. “I just want to be left alone. I don’t have anything left. You being here is just reminding me.”

Megan bit her lip and looked down again. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She said quietly.

“Yeah well, funny thing: IT DID.” I replied bitterly, sinking down again. After a moment of silence, I sighed. “Look, Megan. I appreciate what you’re doing now, but what happened, happened. And now I’ve got a lot of crap in my life.”

Megan nodded, looking at me with those big brown innocent eyes. She really was innocent, in a way at least. I was aware that she was just trying to save May, but she drove me through hell because of a hunch.

Still, what Nicole said kept repeating itself in my head. The idea of being kind, of being aware of why she’s doing what she’s doing. Megan wasn’t apologizing because she saw some sort of benefit she could take. She was apologizing because she was genuinely sorry, and because she didn’t want to hurt me. I guess now that nothing could be done to fix the past, I at least owed her that much in return. “…So how about we just forget what happened and move on, huh?” I asked, catching her off guard.

I don’t think she was expecting to be forgiven so quickly. “Huh?” She asked me.

I shrugged. “It’s not like I’m going to solve anything by being mad at you. And I think you’re being genuine. So I forgive you. Let’s move on from all of this.”

Megan’s smile was blinding. “Okay.” She answered, her voice quavering as if she was about to start crying. “Thanks, Adam.”

“No problem.” I answered. I was still upset, though not as much at Megan at this point. She wasn’t really at fault. It was just dumb luck. And, as I was beginning to realize, it was how I handled things after all.

She pulled me in for a hug again, and this time I returned it. She noted this and made the hug even tighter, bringing her head in. I felt her lips touching my neck, but she wasn’t necessarily kissing me.

After a bit, she pulled away. She looked me in the eye, as if expecting me to say something, then bit her lip as she looked down. “I know I was kind of unfair, but… I liked it.” She said out of nowhere.

“Huh?” I asked her.

“Like, the… the blowjob. I liked it.” She said nervously, blushing and looking down.

I chuckled. “Yeah, I noticed.” I replied. “You got wet from blowing me alone.”

“I didn’t just get… um…” She trailed off.

“Wet?” I asked her with a smirk.

“Yeah, that. I think I climaxed too.” She paused. “Is that normal?”

I laughed. “How should I know?” I asked her. “I’ve only been with you and Nicole. For what it’s worth, Nicole doesn’t do that.”

“So you’re not Nicole’s secret boyfriend?” She asked me. I wondered briefly if she used the topic of sex to get to Nicole. I briefly wondered if I should have minded her intrusion, but I didn’t.

“Nah, she and I are just friends with benefits.” I said casually, then thought about it. “Were.” I corrected myself, feeling my heart sink.

I think Megan could feel it sink too. She grabbed my hand. “Do you need someone?” She asked me. I could feel the burning blush in her cheeks just from grabbing her hand.

“Nah, I really shouldn’t.” I replied, pulling my hand away from hers. She nodded soundlessly and pulled her hand back. However, she planted the seed of curiosity in my mind. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” she quickly replied, eyeing the floor.

“Do you need someone?” I asked her. She bit her lip and said nothing.

Call it social deprivation from being cut off from both May and Nicole, but at this point I was on autopilot. Slowly, I grabbed her hand again. “You really shouldn’t ask me things like that.” I told her. “Because I’m really vulnerable right now. You could probably get away with a lot right now.”

“Oh yeah?” She asked. I could hear her heart pounding.

“Yeah.” I answered, my heart pounding louder than hers. We both looked each other in the eyes for what seemed like an eternity. The space between us was beginning to close, and before I had enough time to think over whether this was a good idea or not, our lips were locked tightly. We both lost all control as Megan’s hands desperately clawed all over me, hungry for something to grab on to.

Despite giving in to my lust, I hadn’t lost all common sense as I broke away from the kiss. “We should find somewhere more private…” I managed as Megan, still not satisfied, dove in to my neck and started to kiss, suck and lick away at my neck. She groaned when she realized I was right and with energy I did not expect to see from Megan, bolted up and started powerwalking down the hall, dragging me by the hand before I was even standing fully upright.

We tried the student council office, but it must have been set to lock by Phil, because it seemingly locked when I first closed the door. In desperation, Megan started to look for other classrooms, dragging me along.

Thankfully, it was after 4:30, so no one was in the hallways to be able to witness what Megan and I were obviously doing as we paced the halls. To get to the other classrooms, however, we had to pass through the main hall, and I wasn’t so lucky when we passed through. Megan didn’t seem to care, leading me through the hallway, but as I passed through the main hallway, a single person was sitting on a bench near the center, and looked up as we passed by.

His long, frizzy brown hair and black clothing gave him away immediately as he looked up. My heart sank in my stomach as I realized this would be hell to explain. He didn’t say anything – he just raised his eyebrows and gave me a small, confused smile as we passed through. I tried my best to give him a look that would say ‘I’ll explain later’, although I don’t think I succeeded. Soon enough, we were out of the main hallway and trying classroom doors.

It was stupidly convenient that one of the rooms turned out to be unlocked. It was an English classroom, one that clearly was meant to be locked. I started to wonder if the locking of classrooms was as mandatory as I first thought, when I was assaulted by Megan’s lips on mine. However, I had enough self-control left to pull away temporarily to clarify a few things.

“You understand that this is just casual sex, right Megan?” I asked her.

She used the time away from me to remove her glasses, eagerly nodding.

“This means absolutely nothing romantically. I won’t be holding your hand or anything after.”

“I know.” She replied, working her sweater over her head.

“And you’re okay with that? No hurt feelings, no misunderstandings, no BS?” I asked her.

She was now working her t-shirt over her head. “Yes.” She responded impatiently, throwing her t-shirt to the floor.

I smiled mischievously at her. “Good.” I responded simply as I worked my own shirt over my head. She grinned as she reached behind her, undoing her bra.

Unlike Nicole, Megan’s tits were fairly small, a modest B cup at best. As well, her nipples were quite small too, with her areolae maybe reaching the size of a quarter. Nevertheless, I was completely drawn to them, and I was caressing away at her breasts before I even knew what I was doing. Her long blond hair was draped over my hands, covering them in a silky embrace as my now-experienced hands worked magic on her nipples, caressing, flicking and twisting away.

Either Megan genuinely missed this or deep down under, she was a sexually charged devil, because she was moaning within seconds. In a kneejerk reaction, she ground her pelvis up against mine and latched her mouth onto mine, her tongue prodding away at my lips, begging for entrance. When I allowed her in, her tongue hungrily explored my mouth, perhaps searching for mine. It was quite evident that she did not have experience kissing, but was keen to learn. With that, my tongue responded in vigor, teaching her my ways.

She broke the kiss as her hands trailed their way down my chest and abdomen. “I had no idea you were this attractive.” She muttered under her breath. “This is really hot, Adam.” She kept traveling south until she hit the pole. As soon as she did, she moaned instantly and started rubbing me through my jeans. “I need to have this in my mouth again, Adam.” She moaned. “Please let me have it.”

I would have loved to see her beg, to see her suffer knowing she was so close to what she wanted yet at the hands of my refusal, especially with all of the hell she caused me over the past week, but I was too horny at that point to think straight. Wordlessly, I complied, taking off my pants then my underwear. Her eyes gleamed when she saw my cock spring forth, and immediately got on her knees. “Oh, yes.” She happily sighed. “Thank you, Adam.” Without another word, she took me into her mouth again.

She definitely remembered what she learned. Within the first few bobs of her head, she was able to get about two thirds of me down before she came up for air again, making sure she didn’t start off too quickly. “I think it’s actually gotten bigger.” She muttered.

I gave a small laugh as I coaxed her mouth back on me with my hands. She responded eagerly, taking me into her mouth, using all of the techniques she taught herself just a few short weeks ago. He tongue, her lips, the suction, everything was in the right place. I couldn’t help but moan and put one hand onto the table behind me for support as Megan continued to take more and more of me into her mouth.

Soon enough, she was starting to get turned on by this. I hadn’t noticed before, but Megan was wearing a black-and-white skirt today. I certainly did notice when she desperately pulled up her skirt to her waist and start rubbing her already-moist panties underneath, moaning on my dick as a result. She was getting really into it, and was determined to take more and more into me, when I felt more of me slip into her than ever before. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I think Megan was deepthroating me.

Her moans became more muffled, her activity between her own legs more urgent as she kept going, picking up speed. That feeling I got the last time she blew me started to return to me, as I entered another realm.

“That’s my good little slut.” I said in a voice just louder than a whisper. “Keep going like that and you’re going to get your reward reeeeally soon.”

Megan seemed excited by this news, and doubled her efforts, including on herself. What was a small wet spot before turned into a completely drenched, practically dripping pair of panties as Megan stopped rubbing herself and dove into her panties to start fingering her pussy.

I wasn’t going to last long like this, and needed to warn her. However, the gentle warning my mind created turned into, “Shit, Megan! You fucking whore, I’m going to shoot down your throat.” when it escaped my mouth. I soon was losing control of myself. My lust was building up to unseen levels.

However, Megan came first. With a perpetual moan she maintained on my dick, I saw small waves of fluid go through her soaked panties onto the floor. It was amazing her much she squirted – like nothing I had ever seen before, including on the internet. She was still fingering herself furiously, even after it was clear the gushing had stopped. However, at that point I could no longer pay attention. I was fixated only on Megan’s mouth, and the torrent of cum that was about to greet it.

No longer caring about her, I grabbed her by the head and forced her to take my cock all the way into her throat, without even being sure if she did in fact deepthroat me before. I didn’t even care. I didn’t care if she could breathe. I just wanted to give my slut exactly what she wanted – a mouthful of my cum.

And I delivered. Shortly after I locked Megan in position, I spurted wave after wave into her. I wasn’t sure if Megan was exactly comfortable, but she didn’t protest, trying her best to swallow every wave (or, at this point, let it slide down her throat) with what sounded like a muffled moan of either euphoria or crying. I couldn’t tell, and didn’t care one bit. That was for all the trouble she caused me.

Eventually, I let go of her, my arms feeling numb at that point. At first when I let her go, she was coughing and catching her breath, as I leaned back on a table and attempted to catch mine. However, as I slowly came to, it dawned on me that she was no longer gasping – she was moaning again.

I looked over at her to find her on the floor, lying down, probably coating her skirt in her own fluids. My jaw dropped in amazement. She was still fingering herself, only now her finger was a blur, moving in and out with lightning speed. Her moaning was constant and out of control, her eyes closed, her breathing erratic. At once, her eyes flew open, and she could barely talk amidst the moaning.

“Adam, I… Please… Please come here and lick me.” She reacher to her waist and cast off her panties as if they were on fire. “Please, Adam. I need it, please.”

She was a mess. An animal. It was unbelievable. I was still turned on myself, but it was fascination more than anything else that led me to get down on all fours and stick my head in between her legs.

Being so close, I could actually see the liquid coming out of Megan. She was like an aphrodisiac experiment gone off the charts. Moaning still, she pushed my head in, allowing me barely a half-second to breathe before my head was mashed against her pussy.

I started licking immediately, although the copious amounts of love juice was slowing me down considerably. Hell, my own doubts were slowing me down too. I had never seen Megan remotely like this, and it almost worried me.

However, it also turned me on, and soon I got into the rhythm of things, making her moan out of control, without even bothering to limit her volume. However, I got tired of merely pleasuring her, and eventually got up from my position.

At first, she moaned in protest, but when she saw the lust in my eyes, she knew it was far from over. I motioned for her to stand up, and when she did, with one motion, I removed her skirt and bent her over the desk with her adorable little butt facing me. Her eyes went a little wide when she realized what I was about to do, but closed quickly when my hand started rubbing against her slit, preparing her for what was coming.

“Are you ready for the ride of your life?” I asked. It was a little cheesy, and definitely less gentlemanly than when I asked Nicole. But screw Nicole, she wasn’t here, and if I’m going to spend my afternoon screwing a horny bitch who managed to make my life hell for a week, I wasn’t ready to be all sunshine and roses.

Megan whimpered but nodded. I didn’t waste a second and removed my hand, using it to guide my shaft into her waiting pussy. I attempted to go all in with one motion, but she was actually so tight that I couldn’t! If I thought Nicole had a grip on my dick, then Megan had some kind of vice on it. Ignoring whatever protests I’m sure Megan made, I pushed and pushed until the rest of me was fully inside her.

At that point it occurred to me that I probably should have checked her reaction. As I looked over her back at her face, it reflected a lot of pain. The moaning was still there, but it was mixed with a series of grunts and ‘ow’s.

Despite this, something deep inside of me told me to keep going, and I did. Slowly at first, I began to pump myself in and out of her, eventually picking up speed. The moaning and ‘ow’s became louder as my speed increased, but never once did she ask me to stop, even though that may have just been her shyness.

At this point my lust overcame me again as I really got into it. I grabbed onto her plush yet petit ass with my hands as I became determined to drive myself further and further into her. Her skin felt like hot silk in my hands, so soft yet practically burning. Was it her desire, was she normally this hot? I didn’t know. If anything, the inside of her pussy only felt hotter, which only served to add to the feelings I was getting from drilling her with my cock.

Her ‘ow’s were disappearing at this point, only to be replaced by even more moaning as she finally got into the rhythm of things too. “Oh, Adam…” she moaned with a high, innocent voice yet the lustiest attitude I’ve ever seen as I was finally able to thrust my full self inside of her.

Without being aware I was doing it, I let go of her ass with my left hand only to have it come back down on her ass with full force. “Shut up!” I ordered, my voice heavy and deep. “You will speak only when spoken to. Is that understood?”

She was silent at first, except for tiny moans escaping her mouth, until she finally answered “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” I asked her.

She paused. “Yes, master.” She responded quietly.

I did not expect her to be so submissive so quickly, and needless to say having this power over her only turned me on more. “Good girl,” I responded with authority. “After all, we don’t want me to get rough with you, do we?”

A timid “No.” met my ears, which only made me smile.

“Well, too bad!” I yelled at her angrily as I rose my hand once again. Her skin rippled and turned a shade of pink as I slapped her beautiful small ass, making her yelp. “THIS is for ruining my chances with May!” I barked as I spanked her ass again, still buried inside of her. Another yelp met my ears.

“THIS is for lying to me the first time you gave me a blowjob!” I shouted, smacking her ass again. Her yelp this time was prolonged, trailing off instead of ending abruptly. “And THIS is for making Nicole hate me!” With even more force, my hand came down and smacked her ass, hard. Her yelping now turned into a yell through clenched teeth, ending with a “Mmmm.”

“And this? This is for fun.” I concluded as I smacked her ass one more time, earning me a pained moan from her. I gave her a few seconds after to recover, then continued to plow her for all her worth.

“What about… how I… told the… whole council?” She panted. “That’s…. got to be… worth something.” Wow. Fuck me. Spanking Megan was turning her on. Given that this was supposed to be her punishment, this wasn’t exactly according to plan, but hey, I was willing to play ball. With a grin somewhere between ‘in disbelief’ and ‘mischievously’, I brought my hand up. “Too right you are.” I added ominously as I brought my hand down on her ass, spanking her hard. She moaned in a mix of pain and pleasure. I continued thrusting into her as I brought my other hand up into the air, roaring, “And THESE are for speaking without being spoken to! Know your place!”

Smack. Smack. Smack. I was relentless as I kept spanking her over and over, making her scream as I continued drilling my dick into her. I wasn’t even sure if her moans were from pain or pleasure at this point, and I didn’t much care. I just kept going, thrusting and spanking away.

“Ohhh… Th-thaaank y-you ma-master…” Megan managed to moan as I continued my assault on her. Before long, I felt a churning deep within me, and could tell Megan was close too. I was about to shout out that I was going to blow, when I found out that the sensations of fucking Megan’s hot, horny, lust-driven body was too much for me and I couldn’t make a sound. Besides, I justified to myself, she didn’t even deserve it. With a final roar, I thrust into her fully, emptying myself inside her in torrent after torrent. Megan squealed in delight as she felt the hot liquid flowing into her. I had stopped right where I thrusted, but Megan continued moving back against me, milking me for all I was worth. I was really sensitive, so it was actually starting to hurt. I was about to say something when Megan’s whole body tensed up, then started convulsing. I felt her fluids impact against my dick like a firework, then flow past me as they flowed out of her pussy, making sure they came into contact with the both of us. She let out a mix of an exhale and scream, like that voice you have when you’re too excited or scared to say anything, as her body writhed, then went limp on the table she was leaning on. Her love juice was slowly flowing down our legs as our heavy breathing filled the room, calming down from the insane high we were having only seconds before.

“Wow.” Megan panted when she finally gained that ability to speak again. “That was… incredible.”

I chuckled. “I’ll say.” I replied as I pulled myself out of her, giving me one last moan from her I looked around the room for something to help me with cleaning up. Luckily, the teacher’s desk had a box of tissues on it, though I’d have to make a mental note that I wouldn’t be so lucky to have conveniences like that in the future if I continued this way.

I looked behind me to see that she was cleaning herself up as well, albeit less successfully. Her legs and skirt looked like they were soaked, her hair was a mess, and she couldn’t even find her glasses. Noticing that they were on the desk next to me, I passed them to her.

“Thanks.” She said quietly, with clear shyness in her voice. The same shyness that she managed to carry around with her right up until you had sex with her.

“So what’s with you during sex?” I asked with a grin.

She blushed and just shot me a confused look.

“Normally, you’ll all innocent and cute, but get you alone and you’re like a sex goddess.” I gushed. “You get off from blowing me, you turn into an animal in heat after fingering yourself and you’re kinky as fuck.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know I was like that until I gave you a… A…”

I laughed to myself. Even now, she couldn’t say it. “Blowjob.” I finished.

“Yeah, that.” She said quietly. “Although, ever since I did, I started masturbating.” She turned a shade of pink. “It felt really good, especially when I started using larger and larger things, although your… your penis is the largest I’ve ever felt. It’s like I found out something about me I didn’t know before. I just know I really liked it. Especially when you came inside me.” Despite her embarrassment, she still looked me in the eyes and smiled after saying that, which looked like it took a lot of effort.

It hit me like a train. I came inside her! “Oh, shit!” I yelled aloud. “I came inside of you! you could get pregnant!”

“It’s okay, calm down.” Megan soothed.

“No it’s not okay!” I said in a panicked tone. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to be a father!

“I’m on the pill!” She exclaimed.

Relief washed over me. Mid-panic, I stopped where I was and shut my mouth. “Oh, okay.” I said, calming down. “Good.”

She laughed softly, at this point having put on everything but her skirt, which was soaked. “Darn.” She said under her breath. That was Megan for you. Fucked like an animal, but still ‘darn’ was the biggest swearword she could use.

“Are you going to be okay wearing that?” I asked her.

She smiled her innocent smile at me. “No, but it’s okay. I have gym this semester, so I could just use my gym shorts. I just don’t know what I’ll tell Matt.”

Oh shit. “Matt’s here?” I asked nervously.

“Don’t worry.” She soothed again. “He’s in the math office, doing homework. We’re as far away from him as we can get. He said he would be in there any time I want to leave.”

“Okay.” I calmed down for the umpteenth time that day. I was seriously going to have a heart attack before 40.

“Can I be your girlfriend?” Megan casually asked as she got her gym shorts out of her bag.

Heart attack. Good example. “What?!” I exclaimed. “Megan, you said you wouldn’t do any of this relationship bullshit!” I all but whined.

“I know.” She said in a casual tone, with what seemed like a new attitude for Megan. “I’m not forcing you to do anything, and I won’t get upset if you say no. But you said yourself, you lost the other two and you need someone. I don’t even care if you don’t really like me, I know you like to have sex with me. So why not make this more than a one-time thing?”

I sighed. “We could just be friends with benefits too.”

She smiled cheekily at me as she put on her shorts. “No dice. If you want to keep having sex with me, it needs to be official. You can still say no! I just think this would benefit us both. You’d get sex, I’d get you.”

I held my face in my hands in frustration. I was actually considering it. I mean, fuck, why not? I lost May and Nicole for good at this point anyway, and Megan was offering me sex, nothing more. Don’t get me wrong, she abused my trust in the past, but something about her new attitude told me that she wasn’t just trying to do that this time. This time, she was being fair, being real, and giving me an opportunity to say no.

“Okay, Megan. I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Megan jumped with glee, before running up to me and wrapping her arms around me, giving me a long kiss on the lips. I was hesitant, but returned the kiss. I had no doubt it was just my loneliness and that alone which made me give in, but I was willing to see what would happen from here. Besides, I’d be lying if I said Megan wasn’t an amazing fuck.

“Thanks, boyfriend. You won’t regret this!” Megan said happily, gathering her stuff together. I think a part of me already was.

“You’re welcome, fucktoy.” I replied cheekily, winking at her. Megan blushed but kept her gaze on me, biting her bottom lip.

Wordlessly, we both made sure everything was in order then left the room. We walked back to the main hallway, hand in hand (which I’ll admit, did not feel as weird as I thought it would with Megan) which thankfully was empty. I guess Paul went home.

“Thanks again, Adam.” Megan said, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m glad things worked out. You’re a really great guy.”

“Yeah, tell the council that.” I said sarcastically, returning the hug.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to smooth things over with them.” she replied, smiling up at me.

“How?” I asked.

“Leave it to me, I’ve got a few ideas.” She said, breaking the hug. “Although I should really find my brother before he comes looking for me.” She kissed me on the lips shyly before giving me a cute little wave. “Bye!” She said cheerfully.

“Later!” I replied. When she bounced out of sight, I collapsed on the nearest bench and sighed. What a freaking day. First Megan was pissed, then we fucked, now she’s happy as a clam. I probably should have found that suspicious, but didn’t. She seemed genuine, at least this time she did. Then there was May, pissed off enough at me that she probably went back to Carson just because she knew the news would reach my ears. And then Nicole… I had no freaking clue what to make of her. First she got kissed without her consent, then she liked it, then she jumped to Phil’s side when it was me versus him with a white lie… I mean, she lied to protect him, instead of telling the truth, let alone telling the truth to protect me. If only she wasn’t so rash, she could have found out that Megan and I were okay and she didn’t need to be so aggressive.

Megan and I were more than okay, though, for better or for worse. We were together. Megan and I were together, Nicole and Phil were together, May and Carson were together, and I had the sneaking suspicion that neither May, Nicole or I ACTUALLY liked the other person. Thanks to Megan’s blowjob, we weren’t just stuck in a circle of lies – we were living lies.

I had way too much shit in my head. I was absent-mindedly checking the clock, wondering if it would be pointless or not to check if mom was off work, when something hit me. It was 5:40pm. Mr. Salvador was still here. I never would have considered telling a soul about any of this crap before, but something about this afternoon changed me. I got up and made for the basement.

I heard a voice – no, voices – as I neared what I believed to be Salvador’s office. The big room next to it boasting the huge sign ‘Choir Room’ certainly helped. I knocked on the door to hear, sure enough, Mr. Salvador’s voice. “Come in.” I walked in to see a cluttered space filled with just about everything. An open closet full of costumes, busts wearing various wigs and hats, books among books filling shelves, photographs covering the walls, old VHS tapes stacked on the floor, you name it. In the righthand corner of the room sat Mr. Salvador at his cluttered desk, and on the other end, surprisingly, Paul Stevens.

Paul hadn’t seen me walk in, and was apparently in the middle of a heated debate with Mr. Salvador. He was holding what looked like a green mask. “It’s impossible!” He protested. “I’ve tried everything I can, but she refuses to work. That’s not my fault if she won’t put in the extra effort.”

Mr. Salvador leaned back in his chair. “You chose the partner, Paul. I can’t help you. I did tell you not to pick her.”

“That was only because you thought she wasn’t right for the part.” Paul argued. “She could be, if she put in the effort. I didn’t know that she’d just refuse to put in a hundred percent. I had no way of knowing. You can’t pin that on me.”

“What would you like me to do?” Mr. Salvador asked calmly.

“Brendan has offered to work with me. You know him, you trust him. He’s only one grade lower than me, and he says he’ll make the full time commitment. Please just allow me to work with him instead.”

“And what happens to Lauren?” Mr. Salvador asked him.

“I don’t know. At this point, I don’t even care!” Paul spat out. “She deliberately missed the morning rehearsal. What you do is your choice. Give her a make-up assignment or give her a zero. I’m just here to make sure the piece goes perfectly. You tasked me with taking some initiative, and I’m taking it.”

“I can’t do that, Paul. Work with what you have.” Mr. Salvador simply stated.

“But-!” Paul began angrily, before noticing I was in the room. Still with an angry expression, he nodded slightly in a way of saying hello, then turned back to Salvador.

“Go on.” Mr. Salvador coaxed.

“No, I’m done here anyways.” Paul said, not bothering to hide his disgust. Even so, as he left, carrying his mask, he said “See you around, Salvador.” without any hint of contempt or really anything except tire in his voice.

Mr. Salvador ignored his exit completely. When he clapped eyes on me, he acted like the whole incident didn’t happen. “Hello, Adam.” He said to me.

“I could have waited outside if you two were talking about something important.” I said, making sure I wasn’t intruding.

“It’s okay. Sit down.” He calmly ordered. “What can I do for you?” He leaned back in his chair.

“Well…” I began shyly as I took a seat. “Remember how you said you’d listen if I ever wanted to chat?”

He nodded.

“Well… I have something to tell you.”

I had everything to tell him.

Chapter Nine

Mr. Salvador leaned back in his chair, his expression never changing from his attentive glance. “Is that the whole story?” He asked me.

I nodded. “That’s all I’m going to say, at least.” I added with a weak chuckle. “So what do you think?”

“What do I think?” He repeated, looking at me quizzically. He shrugged. “It’s not something I would have done, but I’m also not you.” He shifted in his seat, thinking to himself. “Although, you never quite told me anything important.”

“I never told you anything important? I told you something that could get me expelled!” I replied in a slightly panicked tone.

He chuckled softly. “But not once did you tell me how you felt about Megan. You told me what happened, but not how it affects you. Your story hinges on how you feel after. If you’re suddenly happy with Megan, or if you’re miserable with Megan, those are two completely different stories.”

I took in what he said and shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I don’t really know how to feel about it. It’s all happening really fast, and I don’t even know if I am to blame, if I was an asshole like Nicole said, or if I should feel like it was all a bunch of bad luck.”

Salvador leaned back in his chair and smiled slightly. “You guess you don’t know how to feel about it…” He repeated slowly, savoring each word. He didn’t say anything more, just rotated back and forth in his rotating chair. In the silence, I started thinking about the

words myself, finally linking them back to the weights room and what Nicole said.

Look, I don’t know my own feelings right now, okay?

“It’s normal to not know your own feelings during a new experience for a teen, isn’t it?” I asked him, his point dawning on me.

“For a human.” He corrected me with a smile. “You’re not an asshole, Adam. You’ve made some bad decisions, though. Casual sex is the worst one you can make.”

“Why? I asked him.

He ignored me. “In time, you’ll know how to feel about it. But don’t ignore how you feel. That is crucial.” He paused, until it became evident that he had nothing left to say. “Did you need to say anything else?”

“Well…” I said, exasperated. “You didn’t tell me what to do, or anything…”

“I can’t tell you what to do.” He said simply. He paused again, before realizing I wouldn’t respond. “Will you be alright?”

I sighed. “Yeah.” I admitted. “I will.”

“Good.” He said simply, getting up and walking up to one of his shelves, putting away some paperwork. “Are we done here or is there anything else?”

“Nah, I’m good to go.” I answered. “Bye, Mr. Salvador.”

Without holding my breath for him to say goodbye back, I left Mr. Salvador’s office, not feeling as free as I thought I would, but still feeling strangely satisfied. As I walked down the hallway, something caught my gaze. In the trashcan sat something odd-shaped and green, poking out of the can as if to say hello. It was Paul’s mask.

I walked up to the can and picked up the mask. It was of a distorted face, and kind of reminded me of an owl. It had a very straight, vertically long nose, a defined forehead, and was cut off below the nose, presumably so that the actor using it could use their actual mouth to speak.

I wasn’t sure if Paul threw it out or not, but it had to be important. I carried it back to Salvador’s office and knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Salvador’s calm voice greeted me again without looking up to even know who it was.

I walked in. “Sorry to disturb you again-”

“Why would you say that?” Mr. Salvador asked me, looking up.

It caught me off guard. “Huh?”

“Do you have something to say?” He asked me.

Hesitantly, I replied. “Yes…”

“Then don’t be sorry. Never be sorry unless you have a good reason. You’ve just invalidated everything you’re about to say.”

It was too late in the day to even bother arguing. “Okay.” I sighed exasperatedly. “Anyway, I found this mask you gave Paul outside. I think he accidentally dropped it.” I actually thought he threw it away in disgust, but I didn’t want to taint Salvador’s image of him. “Should I leave it with you so you can return it to him?”

“I didn’t give Paul that mask.” Salvador answered simply. “He made it.”

“Really?” I asked, looking at the mask again.

He nodded. “It’s one of the units in senior drama. You have to make your own mask, then create a scene using that mask.”

Wow. That actually seemed really cool. “That’s cool!” I replied truthfully. “Either way, he dropped it, so should I leave it with you so that you can return it to him? He’ll need it for his scene, after all.”

Salvador shook his head. “He won’t need it. The mask unit is over. He just happened to have it on him today because I returned them today.” He replied. “Don’t give it to me, it’s no longer mine. If you want to return it to him, you may want to hurry. He’ll be leaving soon.”

I wasn’t sure if that was a polite request for me to leave. I nodded nonetheless. “Okay, will do.” I replied. “Thanks!” I left the room, expecting Salvador not to respond. I was correct.

I ran down the hall, wanting to catch Paul before he left. It turns out my running was in vain – I found him in the main hallway sitting on the bench, looking at his phone, frustration on his face.

“Hey.” I loudly declared.

He looked up from his phone. “Hola.” He replied flatly.

“You okay?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Unnecessary stuff.” he replied, putting away his phone. “Doesn’t matter. What’s up?”

I held up his mask. “I found this in the garbage can. I think you accidentally dropped it or something…”

He laughed. “We both know it wasn’t accidental. Feel free to put it back where you found it.”

“But I like it.” I protested, looking the mask over. “Why would you throw it out?”

“Keep it then.” He ordered, going back to his phone. “Salvador says it’s badly made. The edges are sharp, it was hastily painted, and apparently there’s no defining feature on the face.”

“The forehead.” I commented out of reflex.

Paul made a gesture. “That’s what I said.” He commented. “He gave me a 4 out of 10 on it. So I don’t want to see it again.”

“Does it have a name?” I asked, looking it over.

Paul gave me a weird look. “Are you feeling alright?” He asked me. “What the heck did Megan do to you?”

I could feel myself blushing. He noticed and mischievously smiled. “Yup, I hadn’t forgotten.” He added coyly. He glanced at the clock. “You waiting for your parents?”

I looked at the clock too. It was well after six. I hadn’t texted her yet, but mom would be off work by now. I nodded at Paul and got ready to take out my phone.

“Well then, text them back and tell them not to worry. I’ll give you a lift.” He said nonchalantly, getting up and moving towards the parking lot. I put my phone in my pocket and followed him, matching him with silence until we got to his car.

“So, I’m guessing you made up with Megan.” He suggested as we both got in. I put my face in my hands. I already explained the whole thing to one person, and I was not ready to do it to another.

“Yup,” I simply stated. “We sorted out our differences. Now we’re together.”

“Wow, that was quick.” Paul remarked. “You grade nines do move fast. I mean, just last week you were-”

“Sorry, when you offered to give me a lift was it you being kind or was it an excuse to judge me?” I interrupted.

Paul said nothing as he started the car. “Point taken.” he admitted. “I apologize.”

“I’m sorry too.” I mumbled.

“Why?” He asked me.

“I was mean to you when you first gave me a lift, and now I’m being mean again.” I said, looking straight ahead. “These last few weeks have just been hell and I’ve just been really frustrated. I guess I kind of took it out on you.”

“No worries.” Paul waved me off. “We all have those moments in our life. You’ve just got to love teen drama, don’t you?” He laughed sympathetically.

“I hate it.” I said immediately, not even bothering to mirror the humorous nature of his comment.

“Yeah, it would just be better if you could avoid it altogether, wouldn’t it?” Paul asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

“No kidding.” I agreed.

“Yeah, I mean, life would be so much better if you… Avoided misunderstandings.” Paul suggested. “Were never in an awkward situation. Never had people mad at you. Never been in compromising or vulnerable positions. Avoided dumb people. Never made mistakes. Never got invited to parties. Always did the right thing. Never did drugs or alcohol. Stayed abstinent. Didn’t talk to anyone ever. Died alone, without ever really understanding people.” A mischievous smile was on his face when he finished.

“What, are you regretting your high school life?” I quipped bitterly.

“Ha ha.” He replied sarcastically. “I’m just saying, what you’re experiencing right now is real emotion. It feels bad, I know, but it prepares you to be a better person in the future.”

“And what if I want to be a better person now?” I asked him. “All of a sudden it’s like I’m the bad guy, the asshole. And it’s not just now. I feel like I’ve been the asshole for a while now and couldn’t see it. What can I do to change that?”

“I think you already have. In fact, just now.” Paul answered. “Ever played Spec Ops: The Line?”

“I don’t play video games.” I simply answered.

“Oh.” Paul simply answered, then smiled. “Wow, you’re quite the minority. At any rate, you can still make the changes. You just need to be aware of what you’re changing.”

At that point, it clued in to me that Paul was going in the wrong direction. And had been for quite a bit. “Um, Paul… My house is in the other direction.” I said hesitantly.

Paul’s back stiffened and his eyes widened. “Oh. Crap. Right.” He murmured as he slowed down, then pulled into a random driveway. He turned around and started going the other way. “Sorry about that. I’ve gotten so used to driving home this way I guess I just did it out of reflex.”

“It’s okay.” I said.

“See?” Paul asked, smiling again. “Not an asshole. You’re being a bit hard on yourself, man. You’re a freaking grade 9. Sorry, you’re going to be immature. By grade 12 you’ll see just how much it shaped you as a person. And yeah, the only thing that can make you a better person is actually trying to be a better person, but I think you’re on that path now.”

I nodded, but stayed silent.

“And go ahead and text Nicole if it makes you feel better.” Paul added. “Apparently being sad or angry makes you an asshole by your logic. You talk like she made you happy.”

“She does.” I remarked.

“Then do things that make you happy. You might make mistakes along the way to doing happy things, but you can apologize and learn from those. Doing things you don’t love out of obligation then being bitter about it isn’t going to make you a better person.”

“Weren’t you the one who told me not to text her last time I got a ride with you?” I asked him.

“You’re talking as if I’m always right.” He retaliated. “Besides, that was so you could grow as an individual. If you’re going to be sad, it’s not worth it. I’d rather you be happy and a little shallow rather than your own miserable person. You can work on your individuality in many ways. My suggestion was just one way. But if you find it isn’t working, maybe you just need a friend in your life, one you know well, one that makes you feel better. Maybe that’s what Nicole provides for you.”

The folksy wisdom of the ancient senior rang true as far as I was concerned. I whipped out my cell phone and looked up Nicole in my message history.

Hey. I’m sorry. For everything. I texted her.

But even after Paul dropped me off and said his goodbyes, she didn’t answer back.

***

I was a bit quick to assume I would enjoy classes. As I found out, I really only enjoyed them because I enjoyed life at the time, and had something to look forward to. When I went to classes the next day, a Tuesday, I found that classes were turning dull, fast, and the only thing I had to look forward to was working out for an hour straight at the end of the day, then waiting for my mom to pick me up since Nicole still refused to talk to me. God, I hoped whatever Megan planned to say would work.

That said, I didn’t let that show at all in drama class. I didn’t even know if Salvador was right about my low energy negatively impacting the class, but the guy sat and listened to his student explain how he felt bad about straight-up fucking another student in an English classroom without judgement. I felt liked I at least owed it to him to adhere to his class’ rules in exchange for that.

I don’t think he noticed, but I attached Paul’s mask to my backpack. More specifically, I asked mom to sew it on when she had a minute. Mom, who loved it when I expressed my individuality, was all too happy to comply, and even remarked how proud she was of me for keeping the mask when I gave her the story behind it. Friends came and went in this new fast-paced life of mine, but my parents were always there for me. Especially in a time like this, I couldn’t express in words how grateful I was for that, nor how much I loved them.

Apparently, though, tucking my emotions away in drama class was working. After school, all Salvador did was give me a nod, then looked back to his clipboard.

Getting out of the mentality of drama and into the mentality of working out, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out of the aud. Each step felt heavy, but I expected it would feel that way until things got better. My mind grew hopeful as I pictured Nicole, waiting for me outside of the weights room, smiling at me and saying, “Sorry, squirt. Let’s just put this behind us.” I would forgive her, we’d hug, she’d push me away yet wink at me, it would be like nothing ever happened.

“Adam! Yo, Adam!”

A voice calling my name broke me out of my daydream. Pausing mid-step, I turned around to see Blondie, the popular kid from drama class.

“Hey!” I replied casually, yet confused, watching him approach me as people walked around us, waiting for him to state his purpose.

“I never gave you my name. Dylan Swanson.” He held out his fist. I reluctantly bumped it.

“Yeah, you tried out for the council too, right?” I asked, then realized it sounded like I was rubbing it in his face that I got in and he didn’t.

He shrugged. “Real talk, I didn’t even wanna. My brother’s on council and wanted me to try out.”

“Really?” I asked, half with fake interest and half with genuine interest. “Who’s that?”

“Jeff Swanson, the VP.” he replied. I would never have guessed that guy and Dylan were related. While Dylan was a slightly muscular, slightly lean popular-looking kid with blonde hair, Jeff was kind of pudgy, looked and dressed like a nerd, and had brown hair.

“I see.” I commented, not knowing where the conversation was going. “So what do you need?”

“Well, I heard through him what you did with Megan and May…”

Of course. A freaking week later and I couldn’t even escape it, not even from people who weren’t even indirectly related to the event. Cringing on the inside, I prepared for the worst as Dylan finished his sentence.

“…And it was totally sick, bro!” He said, holding out his fist again.

“Excuse me?!” I asked in disbelief, ignoring his fist.

“You, like, totally put May in her place! I think she’s frigid anyway. Plus, you’re a stone cold playa!” Dylan replied enthusiastically. “Massive respect for that. Especially since, no offense, you were a total nerd a few months ago.”

“Yeah, things change quickly.” I admitted.

“Anyway, I totally dig your style, man.” He continued. Did people after the ’90s even say ‘dig’ anymore? “I wanna invite you to this party I’m throwing on Friday. You down?”

“You’re seriously inviting me to a party because I got involved with multiple girls?” I asked him.

He looked at me as if it was obvious. “Yeah, man! It was freakin’ hilarious! You got them good.”

“I was a dick.” I admitted.

“Naw, man. Look, does Megan still hate you?”

“No.” I be grudgingly answered.

“Does May?”

I paused. “I don’t know.” I answered.

“Then you’re all good!” He protested. “No feelings are hurt, and what you did was a freakin’ riot. C’mon, it’ll be awesome.”

“Alright, if you want me there I’ll go.” I caved. “But I’ve never been to a party before.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that impression.” He retaliated. “What’s your phone number? I’ll text you the time and address.”

I gave him my phone number and he pulled out his phone, nodding enthusiastically as he typed my number into his phone. “Sweet.” He commented, then looked up at me with a goofy grin on his face. “See you there!”

“Yeah, see you.” I mumbled, trying to process what had just happened. Did being an asshole just make me popular? No wonder jocks are vilified in movies. But being invited to a party… I have never been invited to one of those. While I didn’t quite know what to expect, I did have a general idea of what would go down. As I kept walking towards the weights room, I debated in my mind if it was really worth it. I just about approached the door as I felt a buzz in my pocket.

I stopped and pulled out my phone to see I had a new text message from Megan. heyyy

Hey there. 🙂 I answered before opening the door. I sighed to myself, the empty room echoing my sigh back to me.

whats up? Megan texted me back.

Not a lot. I shot back before thinking if I should tell her about the party. Given that a lot of my problems in the past stemmed from either keeping the full story to myself or being misunderstood, my sudden sense of caution won. Dylan Swanson invited me to come to a party with him. You want to come with me?

Aweeeee id love to!! <3 🙂 🙂 was her response. Well, it certainly was an improvement from everyone getting mad at me, I thought to myself as I took off my sweater and started stretching, getting ready for my first set.

***

Of course, the universe sometimes has other plans. The day Dylan set for the party turned out to be the one day Megan couldn’t make it. Given the nature of what goes on at parties, it was scheduled to be Friday night, which I’m amazed Megan didn’t see coming. However, I made it up to Megan by ditching my Thursday workout with her to hang around town with her.

She was a great girl and I won’t lie, the sex was amazing when we got the chance, but it was painfully obvious we weren’t right for each other. As we walked throughout the town, we tried to chat, but we could never find a topic both of us were interested in. We tried to be more vague with topics, but that either made the conversation end quickly or bored us to the point where we wished the conversation would end quickly.

Eventually, we settled for a hike in the forest, something I was not shy about never enjoying. Nevertheless, by the hand Megan dragged a very reluctant me into the woods where we just walked around for a bit.

“Aren’t you having fun?” She eventually asked me.

I laughed aloud. “Of course I’m not. I already said I don’t like hikes.” I answered. “Plus there’s something about hiking in winter. It’s just… nasty. The trees are dead, there’s no nature, and everything is dirty and slushy.”

Megan thought back to one of our earlier conversations. “I thought you said you liked hiking in winter.”

Well, it good to know that she almost listened. “I like going outside in winter.” I clarified. “But not hike. Hiking, I have to experience the downsides. The deadness, the dirt, the work. But just going outside and taking it in is something else. Winter’s got this vibrant energy that you have to stop and feel. Hiking is too much work to really feel that energy.”

She nodded. “Okay.” She said, which was her universal equivalent for ‘In through one ear, out the other.’ “But this hike is different, right?”

I thought about what she was getting at. “This hike isn’t really that different. I’m still not enjoying myself, if I can be frank.”

Megan pouted, half playfully. “But I’m here with you. Shouldn’t that make it better?”

I paused, wondering how I was going to phrase this. As I did, I noticed a few large, flat rocks in an open area. “Care to sit down?” I asked, gesturing to the rocks. She complied, and I sat down next to her, exhaling before I began rambling.

“Megan, make no mistake, this whole relationship thing is one-sided. It’s for you. We can’t find anything to talk about. You dragged me on a hike figuring I’d enjoy it even when I said I wouldn’t, just because we’re together. But you’re forgetting that we’re together because that’s purely what you want. Just because the title of ‘boyfriend’ is there doesn’t make it any more special in itself. A relationship isn’t defined by its title, it’s defined by the feelings that come from it.”

“I know.” She pouted for real this time. “But I feel like since it’s official it should feel more official. Like it should mean more when it’s in the open. It feels more real to me.”

I sighed, but smiled at her. “It may feel more real for me in time, it may not.” I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “But for now, please accept that I’m just doing this for you, and that just because you want a perfect moment or a perfect relationship doesn’t mean the universe is just going to give you one, even after you get a ‘boyfriend.’”

“Okay.” She admitted defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I responded instinctively. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just figured if we’re in a relationship now, I should tell you how I feel from time to time.” I winked at her and she giggled. Silence followed as we just stared ahead, not saying a word.

“What the fuck is even going on?” I asked out of exasperation, putting my face in my hands.

“What do you mean?” Megan asked me.

“I know there’s stories of couples that are obviously one-sided, but they stick together for the sentiment or because one person can’t function without the other. But we’re not even being freaking subtle about it.” I observed, earning another giggle from Megan.

“I think you need me too.” Megan replied, trying to be thoughtful. “You just don’t know it yet.”

Yeah, no. Definitely not. I nodded out of politeness, but nothing could be further from the truth. I definitely could live without Megan in my life, even though she as a friend was really cool. In retrospect, though, I will admit she helped me get over the fact that Nicole was basically no longer a part of my life, but then again, she pretty well orchestrated that. If I were more paranoid, I might even have thought that Megan had a hand in the whole thing, knowing exactly how I’d respond to holding hands after the blowjob, seemingly knowing Nicole and our relationship well enough to know how she’d respond, observing my crush on May, and timing everything exactly right so that every other aspect of my life would crumble like a stack of falling dominoes, Nicole would leave me for Phil and I’d fall right into her hands out of desperation…

…Yeah, maybe not. That was giving any human being, let alone Megan, way too much credit. Not even Nicole could pull that off.

“Plus,” Megan added, her hand traveling up my leg. “I think it’s safe to say that our agreement is definitely not one-sided.” She grinned mischievously as her hand went up and down on my crotch.

“Here?” I asked, looking around.

She shrugged. “Why not? There’s no one around. Plus, it sounds like you need me to remind you why you stick with me.”

I had to laugh internally at that comment. This relationship was not for me. That was painfully obvious. Megan, as far as I could see, wasn’t even interested in me specifically, which only became more obvious as she came more and more out of her shell. She wanted to be in a relationship, pure and simple. She wanted a physical boyfriend, and to have feelings, but she didn’t know how. She wanted to possess and live out some kind of Disney fairy tale, not share time and feelings. The word ‘share’ wasn’t even in her consideration, and she knew it too. Still, I kept my mouth closed for two reasons. Number one, in the wake of pretty much everything else that had happened, I was trying to be as kind as I could be, and this would definitely rock the boat. Two, Megan was making a move on me, and knowing her, I’d want to see how this would play out.

Without another word, smiling slightly, I went straight for Megan’s neck, something I found out was her sensitive spot. I started by gently kissing her neck, but quickly evolved to licking and eventually sucking. She responded with short gasps of air and a hand supporting the back of my head. Her hands were frozen in place, not daring to move, as if in fear that these sensations would stop the moment she moved. Quickly, though, my mouth got bored of one place and my hands travelled to her B cup breasts, moving them around before whispering “Let me see them,” into her ear.

Quickly, she obliged. I moved enough away from her to allow her enough space to take off her shirt and bra. Used to Nicole’s quick undressing and lack of bra, I grew impatient and didn’t waste time by merely looking at Megan’s breasts, latching onto them the second they came into view.

To my knowledge, I actually had not truly sucked Megan’s nipples yet, so I made sure to give her the royal treatment. I started delicately, using my tongue to tease her areola. Megan only made soft moans in response, cradling my head, giving slight pushes every now and then in a wordless plea for me to start sucking. However, I held back, switching to the other breast as I continued my delicate efforts, circling each nipple with my tongue. As I did, her nipple grew harder and stiffer, responding to my actions, begging for more. After about a minute of this, I figured she had enough of my teasing and pulled her nipple into my mouth, giving it a hard suck.

Megan moaned, hard, pulling me in even closer to her boob. With my free hand I began caressing her leg as I alternated playing with her nipple in between my teeth, flicking it with my tongue, and using my full mouth to give it a good hard suck. After a bit, I moved to her other nipple and did the same, but I quickly grew bored of only having access to what was above the waist.

As I took my mouth off of her nipple, either Megan read my mind or was as eager as I was, Immediately, she got up and took off her yoga pants and panties, fully casting them aside as she bent over, placing her hands on the cold rock. “T-take me, Adam…” She said timidly.

I’ll give Megan this, the cold didn’t really seem to bother her. Matching her movements, I dropped my pants and underpants to my ankles in one motion. My dick, fully erect from the earlier foreplay, slapped her on her ass cheek. Realizing what just slapped her, Megan moaned in anticipation.

I didn’t allow that anticipation to last long, though. If anything, I was afraid of the possibility of getting caught, and wasted no time. After aligning my dick with Megan’s already-wet pussy, I grabbed on to her ass cheeks and pushed myself in with one thrust, earning an “Aie!” of pain from her.

I wasn’t drunk with lust this time, and despite going all the way into her with one thrust, I didn’t want Megan to hurt, so I gave her time to accommodate. Plus, even though her pussy was wet, I had no lubrication on me going in, so it slightly hurt me too. As she shifted, getting used to me, the time given to me allowed my pain to dissipate, and when the time felt right, I slowly started to pump in and out of Megan’s waiting love tunnel.

“Mmmmm…” Megan moaned in appreciation as I started out slowly, savoring the electric feeling that coursed throughout me as my grip on her cute little ass tightened and I began to push in further. As I did so, my thrusts became slower so that we could both really enjoy what we were doing. I leaned forward as I slowly thrust into Megan, kissing my way up her back as I slowly thrust my full self again and again into her.

“Adammmm…” She sensually moaned. Soon, however, she evidently became bored of my slow speed, as she began to pick up speed herself, impaling herself again and again on me.

With an internal laugh, I shrugged and gripped her ass again, thrusting myself fully into her quickly. She rewarded me with a “Mm!” that showed how much she wasn’t expecting that. Savoring my victory, I picked up speed, my dick drilling Megan’s pussy as I went faster and faster, deeper and deeper.

Megan’s juices began to flow, starting to go down her legs as she thrust herself back onto me with as much force as I was using on her. For good measure, I gave her a single spank as I kept going, which caused her to give a groan in a mix of pain and pleasure.

On and on we went, losing track of time as Megan’s ass became redder from the cold and occasional spank. Eventually I felt a stirring that became all-too-familiar with me in the past few months, and with one final slam, I let out a breathy groan as I emptied myself into Megan. She moaned at the feel of my seed entering her, and slowly shifted on me, attempting to milk me for all I was worth.

About a minute passed before she slowly removed me from her and started to put on her clothes again.

“You didn’t get to cum, did you?” I bluntly asked.

She shook her head and smiled. “It’s okay, though. As long as my boyfriend is happy, I’m happy.” She smiled at me as she shook her shirt free of snow and pulled it over her head again. Startled by the sudden cold, she sat back down and pulled into me. I was already fully clothed, apparently having learned how to dress quickly through subconscious telepathy by Nicole.

Why was I thinking so much about Nicole? It never really occurred to me, and I started to think about it for the first time as Megan embraced me in an attempt to escape the cold. I kept comparing the things she did, how it felt around her, to Nicole. Was Paul right? Was I that hopeless without her? I guess it made sense. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Nothing would have made me happier at that moment to have her, the best friend I had made in high school… No, ever… To just message me now, asking to hang out. Nothing sexual, definitely nothing romantic, just… being around each other.

I turned back to Megan, who was just about surgically attached to my torso. At least I have her, I thought to myself. Though, that was little compensation, given the very shallow connection we had between us.

I actually had this odd gratefulness about me in that moment. I was strangely grateful that we weren’t going to the party together.

***

“A party, huh?” Dad asked me at the dinner table.

I shrugged. “I figured there’s a first time for everything.” I turned to mom and winked. “And hey, it means I’ll be going out and meeting new people.”

Mom smiled hesitantly. “Sweetie, we’re very proud of you, and the lengths you’ve gone to show us that you’re willing to make friends. It really means a lot.”

“But…” Dad began as if they were sharing the same sentence.

“But what?” I asked, putting down my fork.

Mom and dad looked at each other. “Well…” Mom began. “It’s just that we know what happens at these high school parties, and we just want you to be careful.”

“Yeah.” Dad chimed in. “We can’t have you having fun without us around to nag you about the consequences. After all, you could get pregnant.”

“We’re not going to forbid you from going to the party.” Mom continued, ignoring dad. “And we certainly don’t expect you to abstain from any of the things going on. Just… Just be careful. Don’t do anything you’ll end up regretting.”

“We’re all for you having fun, but getting overly drunk in grade 9 is something that not just we will be mad at.” Dad continued. “You’ll really come to regret it too if you overdo it. And don’t even get me started on getting a girl pregnant.”

“Dad, I’m in grade 9.” I countered. I felt a bit guilty countering with that given everything I’ve done since grade 9 started.

“I know.” He nodded seriously. “But I don’t need to be a biology teacher to know that this is the age where you start feeling urges and figuring things out, so to speak.”

“Dad…” I responded lamely, feeling my cheeks burn.

“Just don’t overdo it. Remember, you’ve got literally your entire life. And I’m going to pull a dad moment here – if you can, your mother and I would appreciate it if you had no sex at the party. You’re young, you’re curious, so we’re okay with you having a little alcohol, maybe even a little weed if it’s there.”

“Timothy.” Mom interjected with disapproval in her voice.

He turned to her. “If we try to go our entire lives protecting him from it, that’s just going to make him want to rebel more. I want our son to grow up to be who he’ll be, not our deluded picture of perfection. It’ll be much better for him if we’re open with it when he’s young so he doesn’t overdo it when he’s older.”

Mom maintained her scowl, but didn’t say anything. Dad turned back to me. “Anyway, we’re cool with that, just… not sex. That has very real consequences, consequences you don’t even know exist.”

That last comment worried me. Obviously, they didn’t know that I’ve had sex before. Hell, they didn’t even know I had a girlfriend. (I was used to not telling them much about my life.) But did I fully understand the consequences? Obviously I wasn’t going to get either Nicole or Megan pregnant, but that was all I knew. How would this change my life? Would I be better off if I had waited? Would Nicole and I even be friends if I did? Did Nicole have an STD and not bother to tell me? I had no clue.

While my mind was wandering through the land of the unknown consequences, dad was still rambling on. He brought me back to reality by asking, “Do you understand?”

“Dad, I’m in grade 9.” I repeated.

“You said that.” Dad remarked.

“I won’t be having sex, dad. Don’t worry. I’ll never be that popular.” I promised him.

“It sneaks up on you.” Dad said, earning a look of distaste from mom. “The popularity, I mean.” he clarified.

“Okay, sweetie. As long as you’re careful, we’ll bring you to and from the party.” Mom said sweetly. “What time should we drop you off, and where?”

“Um…” It slipped my mind. I reached for my phone.

My first party. Yeah, I wasn’t going to have sex, but sex doesn’t make a party, does it? I’m sure the high school populace isn’t as shallow as that, I thought to myself.

***

I sure was glad that dad dropped me off down the street from the party, because once again, I was proven wrong. I doubt I even had the right to be surprised at this point, but even around the area when I walked in through the front door, where there wasn’t dancing that was a little too close for comfort, there were couples that looked like Siamese twins joined at the lips or pelvis, or people drinking and smoking. Barely any conversation was shared, barely any room to breathe, and the only thing I could recognize from my world present at that party were the bowls of chips and other party food. Everyone stayed away from the Cheetos, though – it looked as if somebody spilled their beer in that bowl.

“Yo, Adam!” Dylan came out of the crowd and clamped one arm around me. His other arm was busy supporting a hand that had a half-empty beer can in it. “Glad you could make it, bro! Havin’ a good time so far?”

“I just got here.” I responded in a voice that came across colder than I wanted it to be.

Dylan laughed like I just told a hilarious joke, bobbing his whole body up and down as he did so. Since his arm was still around me, I bobbed up and down with him. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable again, and wondered if such a big, loud, crowded party was too much for my rapidly changing self to take in.

Despite clearly being at least a little buzzed already, Dylan noticed my lack of comfort. “Don’t worry, man!” He soothed me. “First time is always a little weird. You know what? I know what you need.” He took his arm off of me and waded back into the crowd, offering me some breathing space in the process. A few seconds later, he came back with an unopened beer in his other hand. Grinning, he handed it to me. “Here you go, man.” He said, satisfied with himself.

I looked at the beer in my hand and my stomach churned. I didn’t even want to drink tonight, truth be told, and the party atmosphere was really getting to me. I don’t think the beer’s loosening effects would have countered the anxiety I would have gotten from drinking it, so I handed it back.

Dylan looked at me with a confused face. Attempting to feign confidence, I replied, “It’s cool, man. I’m still trying to take in the feeling of a party. Once I’ve settled in, then I’ll have a beer.”

He nodded. “Right on.” He commented flatly. He made sure I was looking at the beer then hid it behind a potted plant. “The beer’s right here when you’re ready for it. We cool?”

“We cool.” I replied, ignoring how stupid I sounded. He disappeared back into the crowd, giving me the breathing space to look around the room.

How did so many people get here?! As far as I knew, I had arrived right on time. Was arriving on time considered late for parties? Or was this small for a crowd? If it were the latter, I prayed the floorboards would be able to keep intact.

The atmosphere sure was something. What looked like a small layer of fog hung over the crowd. I wasn’t able to tell if that was from the weed, a fog machine, or if fog just seemed to naturally form at these events. The music, alternating from crappy electronic pop to crappy electronic pop with steel guitars, rung in my ears with the resonant frequency of a steel bridge. No wonder no one bothered to talk – no one would be able to hear them anyway. It smelled of body spray – many different types, in fact. Everyone needed to make sure they smelled their best, and apparently, dress their worst. The heat was on full blast in the house, meaning that people could take their sweaters off with their coats, leaving a collection of ripped t-shirts, tank tops and an assortment of slutty clothing (with the guys being just as slutty as the girls) underneath, but also meaning everyone’s faces flushed with the heat as well as their own drunkenness.

Not quite knowing where to go, I began to wander. Every little action the partygoers engaged in caught my eye as I wandered like they were all pieces from a museum of an alien culture, and I was just a curious visitor, passing through. Each room seemed to have its own theme – the dining room was full of drinking and eating, the living room full of dancing and humping, the deck full of smoking and laughing, the foyer full of welcoming and cheering, and the kitchen, thankfully enough, was barely populated and served as a break room for people who couldn’t take in all of the hectic action. Although, it was apparent that I was the only one that fit that deion.

The only other person in the kitchen was Jeff, the VP, apparently guarding the fridge. I got the impression that Megan hadn’t quite cleared my name yet. From when I entered, he just gave me a cold glance and said nothing.

I didn’t even bother to acknowledge his presence though. All I could do was catch my breath from the shock of so many people crammed together in one house.

“What are you doing here?” Jeff finally asked me.

“Hey, Jeff.” I responded, finally able to control myself. “Your brother invited me.”

“He doesn’t have a say in what goes on with these parties.” He informed me. “I do.”

“Ah, cool.” I said nonchalantly.

“I don’t care who you think you are, but anybody who disrespects the council like you do is not welcome in my house.” He continued. He started to approach me.

“Woah, woah, woah!” I said, backing up. “Phil told you not to treat me any differently!” I got the feeling that that particular request went through one ear of every council member there and out the other. “Megan and I are cool now! Hell, she was supposed to come with me!” This didn’t stop him, so I continued. “I’m… I’m her boyfriend now!”

Jeff just stopped, looking more like he had confusion on his face than forgiveness.

I took this as an opportunity to continue. “We came to an understanding on Monday. We’re good now, I promise. She said she’d clear things up the next meeting. I’m not a bad guy. I swear!” I was breathily heavily at this point. I don’t know if it was fear of being beaten up by such a big guy like Jeff, or if it was just me being sick of this shit, but I had to hold back tears. I wasn’t really emotional though – they were mostly tears of fear.

“I don’t care.” He finally said. “You yelled back at Phil, and you fucking lied to boot. There’s no excuse for that.” He started to approach me again.

Actually, there was, but I was caught off guard and my mouth refused to work as he approached me. Well, I thought, it sure was a nice life I had. Too bad it had to end so soon.

Out of nowhere, like a miracle – no, like a Hand of God giving me a pat on the back, a voice from the crowd yelled out.

“Jeff!”

It sounded like a senior, a grade 12. I looked past Jeff to see none other than Paul freaking Stevens running out of the crowd. He had a completely urgent look on his face, like aliens were visiting or something.

“Jeff,” he repeated, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around. “You need to get to the living room, right now.” His tone was flecked with genuine fear.

“Why? I’m in the middle of something here.” Jeff responded a little crossly.

“Just go!” Paul all but shouted. Jeff caught his tone of urgency and promptly made for the living room. As soon as he was out of eye-shot, Paul dropped his scared expression and looked me dead in the eye. He made a gesture towards a door next to him and whistled. I caught his drift and, not knowing where the door, faithfully followed his gesture, opening the door to find it led me to an empty backyard. He followed and shut the door behind him.

“You sure do have a talent for alienating people.” Paul calmly said, reaching into a tote bag, pulling out a Coke, and opening it.

“You looked scared to death back there.” I commented, not knowing what else to say.

Paul shrugged while taking a sip of his Coke. “Salvador may get on your nerves from time to time, but he’s a damn good teacher.”

“Fair.” I replied. “Thanks for saving my ass back there.”

“No worries.” Paul said casually, taking another sip. “I could totally be on the wrong side about this whole thing, but I’ve got the nagging feeling that your actions are being misunderstood.”

I gave an annoyed laugh in agreement, then turned my attention to him. “So what the heck are you even doing here? I thought you weren’t popular.”

He grinned at me. “My words have a way of coming back to bite me in the ass.” He commented dryly. He walked around the back of the house until the deck was in view. He motioned for me to follow, then pointed to a person on the deck. “That’s my reason for being here, smoking what looks like a blunt.”

That person was May, sitting on a deck chair, getting high enough to impress Orville Wright. “Holy shit…” I mumbled aloud. I definitely didn’t think May was the type.

“Yup. Might wanna steer clear of her if you want to avoid future trouble.” Paul added. “I was her ride, and figured I might as well enjoy high school culture at its finest.” He looked around himself in a circle. “So far I’m disappointed.”

I laughed. “No kidding.” I added.

“Well, Jeff’s going to be looking for me.” Paul remarked out loud. “I think I’ll head back now. Deck’s that way, you know the door to the kitchen. Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I replied. “Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.” Paul smiled. “Just stay out of the kitchen if you can. Oh, and give me your number. Just in case something goes down and you need a ride back, I’ve got my car.”

I gave him my number and he put it in his phone with a smile. “Cool. Enjoy the party!” He said, walking away. I would have waved at him, but he was already gone.

Looking around cautiously, I walked up to the deck and made my way back inside, making sure May couldn’t see me in the process. I made a mental note not to go back to the kitchen, where Jeff no doubt was maintaining his position. Sadly, that was the only place in the house where the sound and commotion was minimal, so I gave up and just sat on an uninhabited chair in the living room. I probably looked lame as all hell, sitting in the corner during a party, but at least it was more peaceful, trying to shut the world out.

“…Adam?” I heard a low voice ask, breaking me out of my trance. “No fucking way. Adam Watson?”

I lifted my head up and had a heart attack. In the middle of the crowd stood Kenny, Thomas and Isaiah, three guys who I knew all too well from middle school. While they never were the masterminds behind my bullying, as all middle school kids tended to do, they followed the leader and bullied me as they saw others do time and time again. They were a grade above me, so I got a years’ worth of peace away from them, but I never thought I’d see them again after switching schools. I guess word of mouth got the announcement of a party pretty far.

As they approached me, I prepared for the worst and cringed. This only made Kenny laugh, which reminded me how mean-sounding his natural laugh was.

“Wow. This dude changed!” Thomas commented.

“He lost the fuckin’ jewfro.” Isaiah noted.

“Looks like he’s been hittin’ the gym too.” Kenny commented. “What the fuck are you doing at a place like this, bro?”

I hesitated, waiting to see if one of them would pull a punch or something. All three seemed drunk as hell, but not hostile. I stood up straight and nervously cleared my throat. “D-Dylan invited me. I’m a member of student council now.”

As if on cue, all three of the guys started hooting and hollering. “Woah, dude, you pulled a 180!” Kenny commented. “Looks like you’re finally out of the nerd hole. Welcome to where the big boys play, man.” He held out his hand. Still nervous, I shook it.

“Man…” Thomas muttered out loud, then went up to me and forcefully threw his hand around me, grabbing my shoulder. “This dude right here…” He loudly and drunkenly slurred. “This is Adam fuckin’ Watson. He used to be like the lamest fuckin’ dude. And now this shithead is partyin’ with the top dogs. We need to get this fucker a beer!” People around him cheered as one person disappeared to the kitchen.

“No, really, guys, I’m…” I trailed off, noticing that through a window to the deck, I had a perfect view of May, and vice versa. With too much noise, she could notice me at any moment. “Uhh, guys, could you keep down the noise?” I added in a worried voice, not taking my eyes off of May.

“Wait…” Isaiah said, trying to process what was going on. “Why?” Through the crowd, someone handed me a beer. Again. I was too tired at this point to protest, so without any plans of even taking a sip, I accepted the can, my eyes still fixed on May.

Kenny’s eyes followed mine and looked out the window at May. A grin soon spread across his dark-toned lips. “Oh, man!” He exclaimed, eyes now fixed on May as well. “He’s been eyein’ the same chick we have, guys. Adam Watson is a play-aaa!” A chorus of ‘Ooo’s filled our crowd.

“No, it’s not like that.” I defended myself. “I don’t want to get with her or anything.”

“Why are you looking at her so much then?” Isaiah drunkenly challenged me with a grin of his own on his bearded face.

I sighed. For the umpteenth time, I explained the whole situation to a group of people that I probably shouldn’t even have. The whole time, the three were at least smiling, blinking slowly. I’m not sure quite why I told them. Perhaps the atmosphere of the party was giving me a contact buzz from all of the drunk people, if that was even possible. When I was finished my story, all three of them whooped in unison.

“Dude, fuck her!” Thomas all but yelled.

“What?!” I asked him in disbelief.

“If she acted like that, she’s playin’ hard to get. She wants you to chase her, man. Green light, bro! Get her drunk like… Like right now, and she’s ripe for fuckin’!” Thomas explained.

“I have a girlfriend. SHE has a BOYFRIEND.” I reasoned.

All three guys looked at each other. “So?” Kenny finally asked. “Fucking is fucking. No one has to know what goes on here tonight, man. That’s the beauty of these things.”

Isaiah punched me in the arm. “We’ve been here before, bro.” He reasoned. “Fuck her.”

“If it’s so easy, why don’t you guys do it?” I asked.

“Dude…” Isaiah said seriously, making a disapproving face. “We totally could. But you couldn’t get any ho here without a pocket fulla X. You need to ease yourself into the culture of these things, and the perfect way to start is with some good old-fashioned sexual tension.”

“Plus, we can get any piece of ass we want.” Kenny confidently added. To prove his point, he turned his attention back to the crowd. “Hey, Brittany!” He yelled.

A frankly slutty-looking brunette in a tank top whirled her head around to look at him. Kenny made a sex gesture with his hands, pointed upstairs, and showed her a five with his fingers. She grinned and nodded, then turned back to continue whatever she was doing. He turned back around to face me. “See?” He asked as if it were obvious. “We got these bitches ’cause we’ve been here before. But you need to start slow, bro. You’re still kinda geeky.”

“You have to fuck her.” Thomas agreed, nodding. He pushed his blond hair out of his face.

“Why is it so important that I… f-fuck her?” I asked.

“Because we just told you to.” Thomas replied smugly, leaning in close to me and grinning. “You at least have to talk to her, bro. You guys got history. It would suck if you just have to live out your days avoiding eye contact…”

“Fuckin’ drama…” Isaiah commented.

“At least pretend you don’t hate each other.” Kenny added, shrugging. It was like this trio shared the same brain. “We just want you to have a good time, man.”

“Two years ago that wasn’t the case.” I retaliated, folding my arms.

“Is it two years ago?” Kenny asked me. “Fuckin’ no it ain’t.” He broke into yet another grin. “Just go with it and don’t look at the past. We’re helpin’ you get your game on, man. You’re doin’ a pretty bad job of saying thanks.”

“Saying th-” I started in disbelief, but I held myself back. I was growing sick of these guys, even if they weren’t treating me like they used to. “You know what guys, I will. I’m gonna go talk to her.”

The three guys cheered and fist-bumped me in turn. “You won’t regret it, man.” Isaiah said cheerfully.

“I bet.” I laughed. “Well… See you! Enjoy the party.”

“Yup.” Kenny replied, standing still. “See ya.”

I waited for a bit. “Aren’t you guys gonna… you know… Mingle? Go see other people? Go screw… what’s her name… Brittany?”

“I don’t think you’re gonna do it.” Kenny replied, a smug smile plastered on his face. “Plus Brittany has probably found someone else to fuck by now.” He looked around the crowd. “Yup.” He said to himself.

Jesus Christ. “Okay, fine, I’m actually doing it. But for the record, and I’ve wanted to say this for a while, you guys are assholes.” I said with a sudden burst of confidence.

“You call us assholes now.” Isaiah said in a phony, kind of racist Japanese-sounding voice. “But soon you will learn that we are the Great Teachers.” The three guys burst out laughing. I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the deck, the full, unopened beer in my hand.

Why was I doing this? How the hell did the three guys manage to make me do this? It’s like they were still bullying me, but found a new tactic to use. I hated everything.

I approached May and my heart caught in my throat. The smell of weed mixed with copious amounts of her perfume invaded my nostrils as I got closer and closer. She was sitting on a lounge chair in a slightly revealing outfit which showed off her flat stomach, legs and shoulders. I know I wasn’t allowed to think such things, but damn, did she ever look good.

“Hey.” I weakly said. She didn’t hear me, or knew I was there and ignored me. Figuring it was the former, I cleared my throat and repeated myself. “Hey.”

She opened her eyes slowly and lazily, revealing her trademark beautiful hazel eyes surrounded my lines of red. If pot could kill, I think she would be the example. “Oh my God.” She said flatly in an annoyed voice. “Fuck off, Adam.”

Well, that was all I needed. Almost grateful, I mumbled a “Sorry,” and turned around, starting to leave. However, I was not that lucky. I heard May loudly sigh behind me as she added, “No, wait, come on back.”

I turned around to see her clumsily stand up and saunter over to me. “Whaddya want?” She slurred, making an effort to stand upright. It looked like she had been drinking too.

“Nothing, I just… Sorry.” I said, turning away again.

“Nuh-uh,” She said, grabbing me by the collar. “What… do you want?” She repeated.

“Nothing.” I repeated. “I guess I just wanted to talk.”

A slow crooked smile spread across her beautiful lips. She giggled slightly. “Cool.” She said simply. She walked back to her chair and crept up behind a girl right next to it, who seemed to just be in a swimsuit. She looked around to make sure no one else was watching and yanked the girl’s bottoms to her feet. The girl did nothing but pull up her hands and shriek, which got the attention of pretty much every guy on the deck, who quickly got around her, cheering, even as she tried to cover herself up. At this point, May was back at my side, laughing slightly and my shocked face.

“Isn’t it funny?” She drunkenly asked me, all smug and proud of herself.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” I asked her in disbelief. “That poor girl…”

“You’ll see.” She answered simply as she grabbed my arm and headed for the house. She tugged my arm as she did so, dragging me along. When she finally got to the open doorway to the living room, she made her announcement.

“Hey… Hey, everyone! Desiree is putting on a show for everyone outside!” May loudly exclaimed. As if one cue, practically everyone ran past us to see Desiree in her exposed state.

“See?” May asked as if it was clear what she was doing. Slowly and gracelessly, she walked over to the sofa and plopped down on it. “Now we have a place to sit and talk.” She patted the spot on the couch next to her.

Looking around, I hesitantly sat next to May. There were one or two people still in the room, and occasionally someone would come back in, but the area was mostly deserted now and no one there had their attention focussed on us.

“Is… Is Desiree going to be okay?” I timidly asked her.

May laughed. “Desiree is totally cool with it. A hot guy told me she does it herself, like, every party. Look.” She pointed out the window.

I looked out the window, and sure enough, the same girl was commanding a semi-circle of guys, her bottoms back up but pulling her swim top down so that all of the guys could see her B cup breasts. She had a laughing smile plastered on her face. It didn’t look like she was hurt, or anything. She was just rolling with such an exposing act by exposing herself. How weird.

“So, Adam, you fucking liar…” May began with nothing but drunken laughter in her voice. “How’s it- how’s it going for you? You like a party?”

“Um, it sure isn’t what I expected. I mean, I-”

“Wait.” May said, almost urgently, looking me in the eye. “You are like, all articulate and stuff.” She observed. “You can really hold beer!”

I looked to my hand and saw the beer can. “Oh, this? Nah, it’s full. I don’t really wanna drink tonight.” I responded, looking back to her.

“You don’… it’s…” She processed slowly, mumbling to herself, then grabbed it out of my hand with both hands. “Then I wannit!” She slurred before opening it and taking a sip. “I think I juss’ might be a little drunk. I also… I also did weed.” She whispered the last part then laughed.

“Yeah, I saw.” I commented. “I always thought you were kind of the innocent, girl-next-door type.”

She laughed. “Innocent is no fun.” She stated before taking another sip. She giggled. “Adam, I fucking love you. You’re funny.” She put her arm around me then immediately retracted it and pushed me away. “But I also hate you for lyin’ to me.”

“No no, that’s not what happened.” I protested. “See, Megan made me blow her while you were still dating Carson. She wanted it to be no strings attached because I did stuff with Nicole before too. But after, she wanted me to be romantic with her. I refused, so she got mad at me. So she took revenge on me by cutting me off from you. What she said was true, it was just out of context. Truth be told, I did really like you, May.”

May tried, evidently really hard, to process what I said. “Megan…” She said finally. “What a skanky bitch.”

“You didn’t understand most of what I just said, do you?” I asked her, a smile forming on my face.

“Nope.” She flatly responded, taking another sip. “She’s still a skanky bitch though. And you’re still an asshole.” She pulled up her legs and let them rest on top of mine. “A funny asshole though. I still… I still like you. I can’t stay mad a’ you.”

I paused. “She and I are together now. Megan and I.”

“Skanky bitch doesn’ deserve you.” May said angrily, like she was fighting back tears. “I’m stuck with fuggin’ Carson again.”

“Hey, Carson’s a great guy!” I defended him.

May grinned. “He’s a cool guy. A really cool guy. He fucks sooo good too.”

Okay, too much information. “Great to hear, May.” I said, hoping to God she’d move to a new topic.

Nope. “But he’s fucking boring. I mean, who wants-a talk abou’ Marvel? Fuckin’… fuckin’ nobody.” She rambled. “I don’ get him. He’s like… He’s like all full of himself and weird. I don’ wanna be with him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, May.” I consoled, rubbing her shoulder. “Maybe you should bring this up with Car-”

“I wanna be with you.” She said out of the blue, looking into my eyes.

I would have gotten up and protested right then and there, but her legs were on top of mine. “What?” I finally managed.

“I wanna be with you, Adam.” She repeated. “I didn’ juss’ kiss you for no reason! I was like- I could like- You and me… We would be soooo good together. You don’ even know.”

“And I won’t know.” I said. “I’ve got a girlfriend. You’ve got a boyfriend.”

“You… are not happy with Megan.” May drunkenly hypothesized, pointing a finger at me. “It’s like… it’s like… Every time you bang, every time you have this emotional shit… you think of someone else.”

Nicole. “Okay, you win.” I admitted. “You’re correct.”

“So you’re not satisfied. I’m not satisfied. Fuck Carson.” She took her legs off of me and pulled her mouth to my ear. “Adam, I’m real fuckin’ wet right now.”

I couldn’t believe the cute, innocent girl I had a crush on was whispering such obscene things in my ear. Worse, she was in a relationship. However, my urges were starting a battle. “May…” I said, weaker than I would have liked, “You have a boyfriend. I’ll forget this whole thing happened if you just stop. Please.”

But she only grinned and took my hand. “You want it.” She told me as she guided my hand to her crotch. I felt a moist spot, tainted with the heat radiating from her pussy and let out a small moan, partially of shock.

“Told ya.” May said triumphantly. “I won’t tell. You won’t tell. No one around us is gonna blab.”

“May… Please stop…” My good nature was being stripped away slowly by my hormonal urges. I was going to cave soon, and May knew it.

She leaned in close to my ear again, this time moving to my neck, slowly kissing it. She moved up to my ear and nibbled on the lobe, giggling naughtily as she slowly removed her hand from mine. Curse my hormones, my hand kept going. She kept kissing and lightly sucking my neck before slowly removing it just far enough to speak. “You wanna take this upstairs?”

My conscious mind wasn’t even switched on at this point. Wordlessly, I just stopped petting her, took her hand and started to go upstairs. May, giggling, put down her beer and kept close to me. We walked upstairs and knocked on a few doors. A few responses were heard from some rooms, but eventually, we found one unoccupied room. Once we got in, May immediately got on the bed and spread her legs.

She looked simply delicious. “Oh my god…” I moaned aloud. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Shut up and get over here.” May drunkenly ordered, taking her pants off. I jumped up on on the bed and took a good long look at her panties. Pink lace. Great choice. I slowly, teasingly, slid them down her beautiful legs and marveled at her pussy.

I’m guessing Carson liked it shaved, because not even a hint of stubble could be seen. Her pussy has small and beautiful, yet her lips, glistening with May’s juices, puffed out and looked simply inviting. Going slowly, I started to lick around her folds.

“Nuh-uh,” May moaned in impatience. “No foreplay. Just do it please.”

If that’s what she wants, I reasoned to myself. Too pent up to even think about what I was doing, I dove in, extending my tongue into May’s love tunnel. May moaned instantly as my tongue penetrated her, and started get get into a lapping rhythm inside of her.

“Oh, fuck yeeeeaaah.” She sighed. I grabbed around her thighs as I tried to make my tongue go deeper, allowing her as much pleasure as I could possibly give her.

My tongue darted back and forth, hitting every pleasure button I knew. My arms went from grabbing her thighs to traveling up and down her body. I caressed her clothed C cups for a bit, earning a bit of a moan from her. My hands travelled downwards until they got down to her ass, and I almost stopped in surprise. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice this, but May’s ass was much larger than I originally thought it was. I knew she had wide hips, but I never quite noticed her ass. It completely filled my hands and then some, and it felt heavenly to the touch. Moaning into her pussy, I told myself that I just had to get a better feel of it.

I stopped and took my head out from between her legs, earning a complaint from her. Before she could protest further, I whipped her around so that her face was in the pillows. She lifted her head out to breathe just as I positioned her legs so that her ass was sticking right up into the air. I admired my work.

God damn. How did I miss out on this? Her adorable bubble butt, curvy and smooth with a beautiful pale complexion, had barely any sag to it. I did notice a few stretch marks – no doubt left over from her history of being fatter she told me about – yet as I looked at it, I couldn’t help but move my head forward to lick and lightly bite her cheeks, which earned a small, continuous moan from her.

I didn’t waste any time, and dove into her pussy again, eating her out for all I was worth. Unlike Nicole and Megan, I could say that May actually distinctly tasted good – like a delicate, subtle, almost bland fruit flavor – which only encouraged me eat her out deeper and faster. As my tongue worked its magic on her love tunnel, May grabbed the pillow in front of her and scrunched it up against her, her moans quickly becoming louder and more frantic.

I lost track of time as I kept eating her out. Minutes passed as seconds before me as I realized that May was showing the telltale signs of being close. Trying to impress her, I went even faster and harder, cramping up my tongue as I did so. My efforts were not in vain – soon after, May tensed up her whole body, and remained there as I shoved my tongue fully inside her. I froze as May reveled in the waves of pleasure her orgasm was giving her. She didn’t squirt or even give me anything extra, but I knew she was feeling the pleasure overtake her. She remained there, giving a silent groan as she slowly adjusted on me. Finally, she collapsed on the bed, taking my tongue out of her in the process.

“That was amazing.” She panted, clearly a little sobered up at this point. “Not even Carson is that good.”

I just shrugged, grinning confidently.

“Well, I think you just earned yourself a little something, Adam Watson.” May grinned back as she got on her knees, matching my height on the bed. She leaned in and kissed me, shoving her tongue into my mouth, tasting her own juices and melting into my arms as she also reached down below decks and undid my jeans button and fly. Breaking the kiss, she smiled knowingly at me as she pulled my pants and underwear down in one go. Her eyes wandered down to my dick, and as her eyes fluttered back up to mine, she flashed me a smile of approval. She and I swapped places as I leaned back against the pillows and had May’s mouth put me in my own personal heaven.

May didn’t just start by downing my cock. Instead, she teased me, licking all up and down the shaft, occasionally focussing her tongue’s efforts on the head or on my balls just to tease me, occasionally looking up at me and giggling. And god damn, she had a great tongue on her.

When I couldn’t take any more teasing, she went right down to business, taking more than half of me into her mouth on the first bob. Instantly, her velvety warm mouth made me groan as I felt sparks traveling all over my skin, starting and ending between my legs. Her hands travelled my now slightly muscular body as she continued sucking, looking like she was enjoying this as much as I was. She clearly had experience, and there was no doubt that she and Carson got down to business and did it frequently, because sweet, innocent little May was sucking my cock like a pro. I soon found my hands on the back of her head, caressing her beautiful brown locks, as I let out a moan of warning.

She understood and immediately took her mouth off of me, replacing it with her hand as she quickly jacked me off. While doing so, she spooned up against me and started to lightly kiss and suck my neck again, muttering words of encouragement in between.

“Come on, hot stuff. Let me see you cum. I want to see a big load coming out of your big dick.” She purred, emphasizing all of the right words. As she licked away at my neck again, my body tensed and fireworks went off in my head. I felt a pressure build up in my dick, then quickly discharge as I fired shot after shot everywhere. May had the foresight to lift up my shirt just as the first shot hit my stomach. The next shot hit her right in the arm, then the next few hit my stomach again.

With my discharge subsiding, I breathed heavily until I could see and think clearly again.

“Wow, May…” I managed. “You were incredible.”

“Yeah.” May smiled at me. “You were even better than… Than…” Her smile faded. “Carson. My boyfriend. Oh my god, he’s my boyfriend! Adam, what the hell did we just do?”

Guilt was starting to creep into me too now that the euphoria was fading, but I didn’t let it show. I didn’t want the situation to turn to panic. “May, it’s okay.” I soothed.

“No it’s not okay!” May objected, fear in her eyes. “I just… I can’t… Why?!” She got off the bed and immediately started putting on her clothes. I took the hint and started wiping myself off with a conveniently-placed tissue.

“Adam, this is not okay. I’m a faithful girl. I don’t cheat.” May protested in a panic.

“May, calm down.” I soothed her. “Keep a level head. Panicking won’t solve anything. You just had a bit too much to drink. Your judgement was clouded.”

May digested what I told her, the little cogs of her thought in motion. “Yeah…” She began slowly. “Yeah, I was drunk. But you’re sober, and you could think clearly! You took advantage of me!”

This was turning into Megan all over again. “Woah now.” I said, having put all of my clothes back on. I stood up, getting off the bed and facing her. “You may have been drunk, but you came on to me and didn’t take no for an answer. I told you I wouldn’t, but you kept trying to make me hornier until I caved. If anything, you took advantage of me, May.”

Fate smiled upon me, as May lowered her head and nodded weakly. “What do we do?” She asked, on the brink of tears.

I sighed. “We made a stupid mistake, but it would be selfish of us to just pretend it never happened, We need to do the right thing. We need to tell Carson and Megan.”

“Oh my god, no.” May responded instantly. “Carson wouldn’t forgive me. I don’t cheat, Adam. It’s not something I do.”

I laughed softly. “Well, guess what, May? You just cheated. We both did. We can figure out what we’re going to do in the long term later, but for now, we just disgraced our relationships by being unfaithful. Don’t you think we owe it to our partners to confess, live without secrets?”

May shook her head no. “This can just go away.” She answered simply. “I don’t cheat. I never have, and never will. And tonight won’t change that. Carson wouldn’t look at me again.”

As awful as it was for me to think so, I was a little glad to have a reason for Megan to want to break up with me. It would save the heartbreak and self-blame she’d feel of breaking up with her. however, I had to admit that this was not what I wanted at all.

“May, it’s the right thing.” I said firmly. “We need to be honest. If you’re not telling Carson, then I will.”

“You? His friend? He’ll kill you.” May said icily. “You’re not telling him.”

“If you won’t, then yes, I will.” I retaliated, feeling sick, like something bad was going to happen.

“You’re not telling him.” May repeated.

“I am.”

“You’re not telling him!” May shouted. “If you tell anyone we did this, I’m going to say that you raped me.”

Woah. WOAH. This was the next level of bad. Having the reputation of mistreating Megan was one thing, but rape accusations was grounds for a criminal offense.

“You’re joking.” Was the only thing I could think to say.

Sadly, May held her ground. “You’re not going to tell anyone about this, Adam.” She said, more confidently now that she knew she had a strategy. “This is going to be our little secret. Otherwise your high school life is going to be hell.”

“May, rape is nothing to joke about.” I told her seriously. “You can not go saying this. It’s cruel. It’s blackmail.”

“I don’t cheat, Adam.” May said, softening. “I’m sorry. I just need to protect myself.”

“With blackmail?” I asked her, enraged. “You can’t be serious. Why can’t you just accept what you did was wrong? I’ll forgive and forget you ever even said ‘rape’ if you just co-operate. Please.”

She bit her lip, tears returning to her eyes. “I’m sorry, Adam.” She repeated. “But it’ll be your word against mine. This is the only way I know you won’t tell.”

“I won’t stand for this.” I told her angrily. “I thought you were kind. I thought you were a good person. A kind person.”

Fire entered her eyes. “I AM a good person.” She yelled back at me. Lowering her voice, she added, “And If you don’t leave me be, I’m going to scream rape right now.”

“Oh my God, May…” I uttered in a mix of disbelief and exasperation.

“Don’t call my bluff.” She firmly stated. “I’m a good person, I just made a mistake.”

“Then own up to it!” I angrily spat back.

“If we keep it a secret, no harm will be done. If we spill the beans, people will judge me.” May defended herself.

“I’m judging you pretty damn hard right now.” I fired back. “You can’t be serious.”

“Want to find out?” She challenged me. “Get out.” She then drew in a large breath of air like she was about to shout. From the look of her face, it looked like she was serious. I threw up my hands in resignation and exited the room, shutting the door behind me.

I instantly collapsed against the same door. Jesus Christ. I just cheated on Megan. I just cheated on Megan with my crush, who turned out to be ten times as manipulative and cruel. Holy shit. ‘Was it worth it?’ My mind asked me. ‘I sure fucking hope it was, you idiot.’

Strangely enough, a small chuckle built up from within me. I felt like absolute garbage, but I found myself laughing. Almost every girl I became friends with so far liked me. All of those girls were manipulative as hell, in one way or another. All of those girls had something going wrong upstairs. And all of those girls managed to find a way to hurt me, badly. I kept up my laugh until it hurt, until it turned into a cry.

I needed to go home. I pulled out my phone, realizing I needed to call in Paul for that favor. I turned it on to see I had a message from Megan.

Hey handsome! How was the party?? 🙂 🙂

Well, that really stung. As I read that text over and over to myself, I realized that even though Megan and I didn’t click, she was sweet, and kind, and deserved to know. You know what? Being called a rapist would be hell, but it’s what I deserved. I didn’t care what May said, I was going to do the right thing. Megan deserved it. She sure as hell deserved better than me. I then realized that I only gave Paul my number, not the other way around, when God essentially sent me a message of his own, telling me he had my back.

Hey, how’s the party? You doing alright? A random number, one I presumed to be Paul texted me.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks, God. This may seem sudden, but could I get a ride home? Like, now? I texted back.

Immediately I got a response. Meet me outside the front entrance.

Words could not describe the relief, shame, guilt, and confusion I felt.

***

Before going downstairs, I freshened up in the washroom, and shortly after, I bolted out of the house to find Paul leaning against his crappy Caravan.

“Hey.” He waved to me. “Let’s go mobile. After this I gotta come back and drive May home.” I wordlessly agreed and we got in the car. “I figured with the way you and May are, it would be best to make two trips.”

He had no clue how right he was. Clueless yet wise as usual. “Good call.” I remarked flatly.

He started the car and turned to me. “So, how was it? I understand why you wanted to leave immediately.” He told me with a smile.

“Sorry, Paul, would you mind if I asked for a little silence? No disrespect or anything, I just… Rough night.” I responded.

Paul got the message immediately. “You bet. Hope things get better soon.” He said simply as he got onto the street. And that was the last thing either one of us said to each other that night.

***

My bed had never felt more comfortable than that night. My parents were still up by the time I got home, wanting to make sure their little boy was okay after his first party, and I used up the last of my energy convincing them I was fine and had fun. Afterwards, I immediately went to my bed with barely enough energy to take my clothes off, and finally fell into a deep sleep, feeling haunted. Haunted by my own actions. I was a god damn cheater. I truly was an asshole. And now, as far as the school was concerned, I was about to be a rapist. My mind travelled back a few months that night, as I realized just how much I hated myself again, for just being Adam, for existing.

“Adam.” My conscience seemed to call out to me, mocking me.

“Adam!” It was relentless, needing only my own name and nothing more to insult me.

“Adam!!” A sharp tap jolted me awake. Someone threw a rock at my window. Rubbing my eyes, I lazily hauled myself out of bed. Who the hell could that be? Did Megan find out already? Was May back for more blackmail?

Nope. It was Nicole, looking as self-assured as ever. I opened the window, letting a cold breeze in. However, it looked like I was experiencing the tropics compared to Nicole, who was still in her bathrobe.

“F-f-fucking finally.” She rasped with chattering teeth. “Could I come in? We need to talk.”

Normally, I would have either gotten mad at her or just asked if it could wait, but I was emotionally sapped tonight and really didn’t give a crap about anything. “Sure,” I tossed out the window emotionlessly. I looked back at my door and added, “The front door is…” And turned back to see that she had already expertly scaled my wall and was climbing in through my window. She shut it behind her and shivered.

“J-Jesus Christ, Princess Aurora.” She complained. “How deep a sleeper are you?! You kept me waiting for five minutes.”

“Sorry.” I flatly responded then climbed back into bed on autopilot.

Nicole jolted to attention, noticing how I was acting. “Are you okay?” She asked me urgently.

“I’m fine.” I lied. “Long day. Really sleepy. What do you need?”

“W-well…” She started, still shivering.

Despite my state, I still took pity on Nicole, whom I knew hated the cold to begin with. “It’s warmer in the bed.” I offered.

I certainly didn’t need to tell her twice. Instantly, she hopped in the bed, discarding her robe. As she entered the bed, her arm touched mine, and I realized just how just she was to the touch. It felt like a frozen metal pole. I could detect no warmth in her body. Nicole could catch hypothermia, or get frostbite. Instinctively, I hugged her. The feeling sucked, to say the least, and my body was getting cold very quickly, but after a bit, Nicole’s shivering died down.

“Th-th-thanks, s-squirt.” She said lovingly.

“You’re welcome.” I replied, a little bit more awake now. At this moment, I realized that Nicole wasn’t wearing anything, and that her naked, cold body was pressed up against mine, with nothing but a pair of boxers separating us. The feeling was odd, certainly made odder with the cold added in the mix, but weirdly enough, not sexual.

“So what is it?” I asked after waiting a couple minutes for her shivering to die down completely.

She shrugged. “I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you, that’s all.” Nicole casually stated.

“You waited outside in the cold to tell me that? And you thought that couldn’t wait until morning?” I asked her.

She shrugged again. “I felt like it was important you know. I just forgive you for all of those things you did. We’re a-okay again, hotshot.”

“That’s not all. Nicole, I’ve had a rough night. Don’t lie to me.” I said coldly, pulling myself away from her.

“Don’t…” Nicole said immediately and urgently, pulling me back into her. “…pull away. Please don’t pull away. Please don’t go away.” She pulled me even tighter against her, and buried her face into my neck. A few seconds passed, and suddenly I felt small wet spots on my neck. Nicole was silently crying.

“Woah, woah, woah!” I said out of instinct, hugging Nicole tighter. “It’s okay, Nicole. I’ve got you. Please tell me, what’s wrong?”

She kept crying for a solid minute, sobbing loudly now that I knew she was crying. When she could finally contain her crying, she managed to say, “Phil.”

“Phil? What about Phil? What did he do?” I peppered her with questions.

She sighed and pulled her face away from my neck to face me. She cleared her throat. “Well, originally, I wanted to go to the party tonight…” She began.

That would have been a disaster and a half, I thought to myself.

“…But he just wanted to hang out at his place, so I agreed. Like, an hour in, we started… doing stuff. Before I know it, we’re naked and Phil says he wants to go all the way with me. I wasn’t ready, so I refused. I think because of how I acted with him about the kiss, he just took my refusal as a challenge, and he… had his way with me.”

“Phil raped you?!” I asked.

Nicole paused. “It wasn’t rape. I wouldn’t call it rape. It was just a misunderstanding. Anyway, I didn’t want it, and he didn’t even think of me, and went fast, and just… he hurt me. It really hurt, Adam. I just… I dunno what to do.” With that, she buried her face in my neck again and out came a fresh batch of tears.

I held her for the longest time, what seemed like hours, before I felt like it was the right time to speak. “It’s okay, Nicole. Do what you think is right and I’ll support you. But what I would do is be honest. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t feel right for you, break up with him. After all, it doesn’t sound like he cares a lot about you if he hurt you with the act of love.”

“It runs in the fucking family.” Nicole muttered bitterly. I don’t think she expected me to understand what she meant as fully as I did. Thanks, Paul.

“Above all, I just want to see you happy. If he’s not making you happy, break up with him. Let him know why. You don’t deserve to be happy any less than anyone else. I’m sorry he hurt you, but I’m here to help.”

Nicole lifted her head yet again and gave me the sweetest and most genuine smile I ever saw her give me. “You make me happy.” She softly muttered. “Thank you, Adam.” She added, moving in for a kiss.

“Woah!” I exclaimed as I dodged the kiss. “I’m happy to help and all, but I have a girlfriend.”

“I missed a lot.” Nicole said, her soft tone still keeping. “Who?”

“Megan.” I said. Noting her questioning face, I added, “I know it won’t last that long, but I have to respect her. I made the commitment.”

Nicole’s smile went from vulnerable and genuine to proud and very, very happy. “You sure turned yourself around, Adam. You’re quite the altruist.” She said proudly, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m really proud of you.”

Her saying that just made me feel more guilty. I wish I had the strength to tell her, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t an altruist. I was a bastard. A selfish, cheating asshat. But I was going to change that. Silently, I swore to Nicole that I would become the altruist she thought I was. I would change. Adam Watson was going to be, as of this moment, a good guy. No longer a terrible, cheating lowlife.

And with that final thought, I held her, saying nothing, until I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Ten

I awoke a good few hours later in the same bed, with the same regrets, and the same junior spooning me. Despite everything bad I had done and every negative emotion I was feeling, I couldn’t help but smile. I was really glad to have Nicole back in my life.

I looked past her to my alarm clock. 11:42am. It was a good thing it was a weekend – I needed the sleep. That said, my parents usually looked for me if I wasn’t up by noon, and I was worried that today would be no exception.

“Nicole,” I said softly, nudging Nicole’s lifeless body.

“Mmm.” She moaned into the pillow.

“Nicole, you have to get up now. It’s almost 12.” I said soothingly.

“No.” She cutely mumbled into the pillow.

“Please?” I asked, my hand remaining on her shoulder.

“I don’t wanna.” She responded, not even bothering to remove her head from the pillow. I wonder how she managed to breathe with her head positioned like that.

“Nicoooooole…” I replied in a sing-song voice. Slowly, she raised her head. Her eyes were half-closed, clearly sleepy yet clearly unamused, her hair was a mess and her face, although I hadn’t noticed last night, was clearly becoming paler due to the winter. Despite clearly looking less conventionally beautiful in the morning, I couldn’t suppress a small smile as I saw her face.

“What?” She barked in a raspy voice.

“You need to get up now.” I said in a soothing voice. “Your parents are going to be looking for you.”

Nicole’s eyes widened, her expression turning grave. “Are they here now?” She asked, looking scared.

“No, no!” I reassured her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Then fuggoff.” She replied annoyedly, her expression changing from what I realized was mock fear to annoyed as her head hit the pillow again. She got me. She certainly knew how to act.

“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” I asked her as I removed the sheet from the bed and got up, moving towards the dresser.

“I like my sleep.” Nicole lazily replied, grabbing the sheet and pulling it back over her naked body.

“You need to get dressed, Nicole.” I said sternly as I turned away from her, grabbing a pair of pants from my dresser.

“Do I have to?” Nicole whined as I put my pants on.

“Yes.” I said firmly, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over my head. When I turned back around, Nicole was on top of the bed, fully clothed, staring down at her phone.

“Fine.” She said flatly.

“Stop… doing that!” I said, a little freaked out. “You didn’t even bring clothes here last night. How the heck did you do that?!”

“Graaaaade eleven.” She replied nonchalantly as she continued playing with her phone. “So, what’s the plan for today? Good to see you don’t have a hangover.”

“You knew about the party?” I asked her.

She looked up into my eyes. “I know everything.” She assured me, getting up. “For example…” she started, looking around my room. “…You have a pair of speakers in your room.”

I looked at my desk. The pair of speakers, positioned on top of my desk in plain sight, wasn’t exactly hard to find. “Very good, Sherlock.” I replied sarcastically.

“And if you have a pair of speakers and nothing plugged into it, you probably have a music player.” Nicole continued, ignoring me. She eyed my desk drawer and opened it, rifling through it without my permission. “Aha!” She declared triumphantly as she held up my old mp3 player, which I hadn’t seen for a few years. She immediately plugged it in. “Do you have Toto or Soft Cell on this?”

“It won’t have power, don’t bother.” I told her. “Besides, I just put rock music on that. Nothing really 80s.”

As if on cue, Africa by Toto started filling the room as Nicole beamed at me triumphantly. I never even heard of Toto before that day, but at this point, I didn’t even have the strength to be surprised. She started swaying to the music, the baggy hoodie she put on swaying with her. Soon, she began to dance, at which, of course, she was great. Not missing a beat, she began to move her body in time to the music, gesturing me to join.

I shook my head. “I don’t really dance.” I said.

Nicole smiled, still dancing. “You didn’t really do karate before, either.” She retaliated. “The two are closer than you think.” At that, she suddenly stopped dancing, as if she had a thought. “Oh yeah! Speaking of, why’d you stop showing up? You only just started.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t keep eye contact with her. “I…” I slowly started.

Sensing my tension, Nicole stopped the music and sat me down on the side of my bed. “What? What’s wrong?” She asked me.

I couldn’t even look her in the eye as I responded. Breathing sharply before doing so, I quickly responded, “I thought you were mad at me so I couldn’t deal with seeing you.”

“So you didn’t go to karate because you’d feel like shit if you saw me and saw I was still pissed at you?” Nicole asked me. I nodded. Her expression turned unimpressed as she smacked me upside the head. “You doorknob.” She spat annoyedly. “I don’t hate you or anything. What am I, 12?”

“You sided with Phil at the council.” I countered with a small voice.

She sighed. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” She asked me. “Sorry, squirt. I was really pissed at what you did, and honestly thought Phil wasn’t like…”

“Jeff?” I asked her.

Something flickered in Nicole’s eyes for just a second. I think it was rare for her to slip up, and even rarer for her to notice, but I think she just realized she said too much. However, she recovered quickly. “What, like the VP?” She asked with confusion in her voice.

I was done beating around the bush. I shook my head. “Jeff Love, your boyfriend last year.”

Nicole’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know about that?”

With a surge of confidence, I winked at her. “Grade 9.” I answered playfully.

“Hilarious.” Nicole replied sourly, getting up off the bed and walking to a corner of the room, arms akimbo, staring at the wall.

I found her actions a little unfair as I considered how she handled things when I was pissed about something. “What, so when I’m upset you can laugh things off and be all playful, but when I do the same I’m the bad guy?” I asked her, my tone shifting.

“It’s not the same.” Nicole said flatly, keeping her gaze fixed on the wall.

“Right.” I replied, my anger building. “This time, it’s you with the problem. Let’s all laugh off Adam, the immature grade nine. His problems are small. But just because I’m older, my problems are somehow bigger.” I paused, waiting for a response that never came. “Damn it, Nicole, at least tell me why.”

“Why?” She repeated calmly, slowly turning around to face me. Her expression reflected an anger of its own, a very calm anger that was more effective than all of the shouting in the world. “Get ready to feel like shit, squirt.”

Nicole, maintaining her calm composure, sat down next to me on the bed. “So, yeah, I was with Phil’s brother last year.” She began. “Great guy. Grade 12, popular type. I was an artistic sophomore nobody. A diligent yearbook worker who had a background in the gifted program.” She chuckled softly. “I didn’t stand a chance.”

“So?” I asked her after a little pause.

She glared at me. “I’m not done, knucklehead.” She snarled. “Anyway, he really uplifted me. Took me to parties, introduced me to his friends. Said he found me genuinely pretty. Really made me feel like I was worth something. Made me popular, taught me how to be cool. It was actually really cool… I was being more social and everything. He made me really happy.”

She coughed, mostly out of discomfort. “But he wanted something, and kept pushing. He wanted sex. I… I just wasn’t ready for it. Around the third time he asked me for it, it was just us in his basement. He asked me if I loved him. I… was stupid. I said yes, and asked him. He said he wasn’t sure, but if we could have sex, if we could ‘share that bond…’” She held up her fingers as if they were quotes. “…then he would be sure, that he’d… wanna be with me forever. I wasn’t moving, but I wasn’t saying no. He just kept repeating these sweet nothings, tugging at my shirt or something. Next thing I know, he was forcing himself into me. I never did anything like that before, and my God, did it hurt.”

She paused her story and looked at me with intent. “Oh, yeah, by the way, if you ever fuck a girl for the first time, it hurts like a bitch. I don’t care what they say. Don’t move for like the first five minutes.” She looked back to the wall and resumed her story.

“I didn’t really know what to do. It was a new experience, a new feeling, and plus, it really fucking hurt, so I just sorta lay there, not even comfortable with it all, and let him take me.” She paused again, and this time I let her take her time. She seemed to have difficulty explaining the next part.

“After… after he came, he may as well have thrown me away with the fucking condom. He laughed at me and said I was a ‘terrible fuck.’ And you know what? I accepted that, I accepted it like a fucking lady. After all, I didn’t know what was going on, I just stayed there, I just figured, fair enough, you know?” At this point, she was getting really flustered, and she was looking straight down. I couldn’t see her face amidst her hair, but I bet she was trying to hold back tears.

“So… So I just sorta went with it. Told him I’d get better. Lied, saying it was good for me, even though the reality was it fucking hurt and he didn’t even have my god damn fucking consent. He had the fucking balls to tell me he couldn’t be with someone who was that bad in bed. Drove me home, didn’t speak with me for a week. I didn’t either. I mean, fuck, I couldn’t even look at him, but I really wanted him to say something. Not even ‘sorry.’ ‘Hi’ or ‘are you gonna fucking be okay’ would do.”

I was starting to piece things together. “So asking me not to be an asshole to May… Always making sure I comfort a girl when she’s upset… getting angry with me for not talking to Megan after I upset her…” I trailed off.

She looked up into my eyes. Her own eyes were red, but she successfully suppressed the tears. She nodded.

Then it hit me. Jeff said she was terrible in bed. “And that’s why you were… I mean, that’s why you’re a…” My cheeks burned as I trailed off again.

She read my mind and chuckled. “A slut? Yup. I wanted to show that fucker I knew what I was doing. So I got me a few practice boys. I was popular at that point, and Jeff was SUCH a fucking gentleman that he didn’t tell the whole school I was a bad fuck, so it was easy.” She giggled to herself. “Hell, half the school knows for a fact I’m not a bad fuck now…”

“Half?!” I asked in disbelief.

She donned a sarcastic smile and punched me in the gut. “Figure of speech, dumbass.” She said, half angry, half playfully.

Silence filled the room. I’m not quite sure for how long. Out of nothing, Nicole spoke up again, her voice more shaky this time. “I felt like shit, y’know. I felt like I was worth something for just about the second time in my life. Jeff fucking destroyed that. So I ran to the one person I could, the one person who would listen.”

I thought about it for a while. “Who?”

She looked into my eyes with a deep sadness, a sadness I saw only once before. That once was last December, when she was in my room explaining what happened. Explaining what happened to Mitch.

She sensed I understood who. “I actually didn’t even run to him. He caught me blowing a dude. He chased the guy out, but when it came time to deal with me, he… he didn’t preach. He didn’t talk down to me. He held me, he stroked my hair… He told me how beautiful he found me, how lucky he was to have a talented little sister…” Her attempts to hold back tears were beginning to weaken. “He asked me why I had to have sex to feel valued. And when I told him, he didn’t stop me from doing it. He didn’t just look after me, he understood me. He accepted me.” She looked at me again. “He loved me, God dammit!”

After spitting that last sentence out at me, Nicole latched onto me in a tight hug, burying her face in my chest. She wasn’t crying, but she didn’t dare move either.

After about a minute, she pulled away. “Sorry.” She mumbled.

“It’s okay. You’re upset.” I tried to comfort her.

“Yeah, but that’s no reason to throw all of my problems at you and latch on to you like the world’s neediest koala every time I remember Mitch or something.” She countered, her casual attitude quickly returning. She attempted to straighten her mess of hair and smiled at me. “So, feel like shit yet?” She asked, more warmly than one would expect.

I returned the smile. “A little.” I admitted. “Sorry.”

She waved me off. “It’s totally fine.” She said, her voice returning to normal. “It’s nice to talk about this with someone who isn’t… y’know… dead.”

“Didn’t you say you have two brothers?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “Spencer and I never really got along. And that’s all for the better anyway. I think he’s in Chicago these days.”

“Chicago, huh?” I asked, trying to keep up conversation.

Nicole nodded again, looking down at the floor then slowly into my eyes. Her gaze gathered intent until she suddenly launched forward, locking her lips onto mine. Her hands grasped around my head desperately as she kissed me with a passion I wasn’t used to. Half of me was trying to pull back, and half of me was trying to keep up with her.

As quickly as it started, it ended as Nicole pulled back, her face flushed.

“You are…” She said sheepishly as she looked away, thinking to herself, pointing at me absentmindedly. “In a… you… Megan. Right.”

I didn’t say anything. I just looked at her, a look of what I was sure was curiosity and confusion on my face.

Nicole tried to read me and shrugged. “I missed you.” she said casually, trying to play what happened off as if it were nothing. “It’s your fault for not talking to me for God knows how long. If you’d just showed up to karate that wouldn’t have happened.”

“I’m in a relationship…” I said slowly and meaningfully.

“Well, I mean, kinda.” Nicole shot back at me. “You said yourself, it ain’t gonna last long. So really, you’re not cheating since you know you aren’t really together, y’know?”

“Not really.” I said forcefully. “I don’t.”

She was silent for a second. “Huh.” She finally said, her calm composure weakening somewhat. However, in an instant she built it back up again. “Well, I don’t expect you to understand. You’re young, hotshot. Call me when you’re in grade 11. We’ll have a nice chat then.” She winked at me then looked at her watch. “Anyway, you’re right. I should probably get going.” She opened the window and waved at me, unintentionally making it obvious she didn’t even want a response. “Later!”

With that, she jumped out of the window, down two flipping stories, as casually as one would walk out of the door. Naturally, I ran to the window to see if she was okay. I was met with the sight of her rolling as she hit the ground, as if she were Bruce Lee or something. She ended up with snow all over her, and I could hear her muttering, “Oh, fucking hell,” as she attempted to shake the snow off of herself.

I returned my attention back from the window and sighed to myself. Some popular assholes, like those stereotypical movie jocks, may have been proud to have three nubile, clearly messed up vulnerable girls in their life. They may have even been proud that they managed to cheat on their girlfriend with two different girls. I could tell though, I was not one of those jocks. First things first, I needed to tell Carson the truth.

***

“And that would be time, class.” Mr. Carrozza’s articulate, strange voice filled the classroom. “Those of you that are done, please turn in your papers. Those who aren’t quite finished, I can give you thirty more minutes.”

I was damn lucky I happened to be good at science. Otherwise, with everything on my mind I wouldn’t have been able to complete my exam. I was too much of a coward to go through with it. On paper, it seemed great to go to Carson and tell him the truth, but when I saw his face, I just… Nope. Nothing. For a whole week, I just couldn’t. I hung out with him, but every time it felt right to bring it up, I just sort of froze. It was too difficult for me to do. I feared for my own safety at the hands of his muscular arms. I feared for his feelings. I feared for May’s reaction, Megan’s reaction. I felt like I was on fire when I was near him. A cold fire. It hurt not telling him, but it seemed my subconscious was willing to settle for that hurt, rather than rolling the dice and possibly experiencing a greater hurt with telling him.

I got up and trudged over to Mr. Carrozza’s desk, handing in my examination. “Thank you very much, Adam.” Mr. Carrozza told me, staring up at me with his bug eyes. He was whispering so as to not disturb the rest of the class. “You were an absolute pleasure to teach this semester. I hope you pursue the sciences at an academic level in your grade ten year.”

“Thanks.” I said, trying to make it seem like I was paying attention to him. “Have a good day.” He went back to his papers, and I exited the classroom. As soon as I did, my back hit the wall and I sighed to myself.

This whole thing seemed so unnecessarily complicated. Like everything blew up, yet it didn’t have to. Like I was making a soap opera out of a little problem. And not telling Carson was just going to make it worse, and make it last longer.

My mind was made up. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone, texting Nicole, asking her if she could give me a ride later today. I had to tell Carson. I just had to.

***

I wasn’t quite used to walking anywhere after school. Back when school was close to home, I still had a bus. When I got to high school, home was too far away to even consider walking, and quite frankly, I had no friends. So even though I could walk to Carson’s house unannounced after the exam, it still felt weird.

Although, ‘weird’ was the best the situation could get, so swallowing my pride, I trudged through the snow for three blocks to Carson’s place. It felt awkward coming unannounced, but I knew that leaving this whole thing behind me was definitely going to be worth it.

Shivering in the cold late winter air, I rang the doorbell, then waited. No answer. I rang again and waited, my body shifting erratically to cope with the harsh conditions.

The door opened slightly to reveal a conservatively dressed, brown-haired, stern-faced eleventh grade girl.

“Hello, Jenna!” I politely yet nervously began. “Is Carson home?”

“No, he’s not.” She flatly said. “I think he’s still writing his exam. What do you need?”

“I wanted to see him about something. It’s very important.” I replied.

“Very important?” Jenna asked me, still keeping the doorway partially shut.

“Yes. Very important.” I replied with a little more force. I was a little upset about how she was just keeping me outside in the cold, interrogating me, not even being polite enough to open the door more than a crack.

Jenna just stared at me for a bit before sighing. “Tell you what,” She said, as if she was doing me a huge favor. “I guess you can wait in the living room until he comes home.” She opened the door fully and let me in.

‘Was that so hard?’ I thought in my head, although all that left my mouth was “Thanks,” as I entered the house and took off my boots and coat. I walked into the living room, sat down on the couch and immediately covered myself up with a blanket. Jenna followed me inside, sitting herself down on a couch chair with a hot beverage in her hand.

“So what’s this very important thing?” Jenna asked me, sipping her beverage.

“A long story.” I replied, looking down. “That’s what it is.”

Jenna lowered one eyebrow at me. “It’s not like there’s anyone around. You’re in my house. I think I have a right to know.”

“I just don’t want to tell anyone. I’m telling Carson because he’s involved, and that’s it.” I said firmly.

“I’m Carson’s family.” She argued. “What happened? Did he screw you over?”

“No, nothing like that.” I quickly replied, defending him. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“So you did.” Jenna flatly stated. I shifted around in my seat and said nothing.

“So he’s pissed, and you came over to clear the air?” Jenna asked. “That may not be a good idea. When Carson’s pissed, you should just leave him alone.”

“No, he’s not pissed. He doesn’t even know about it.” I replied, saying more than I should have.

“Oh, so you did something that would piss him off if he knew about it, huh?” She asked, thinking out loud. “Well, it doesn’t sound like a prank or a rumor you started or something. What did you do?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I held my ground.

“Something that would actually affect him. You know he doesn’t give a shit about anything, yet you’re really scared.” She continued.

“Please stop.” I said, my voice getting quieter. “You’re making me uncomfortable.”

“And how uncomfortable did you make May?” Jenna asked me. I looked up to her face, the color no doubt leaving mine. There was no malice on her face, though – She just wore her eyebrows high on her face in what looked like a condescending half-smile.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I badly lied.

“You’re a bad liar.” She told me. “It’s not too hard to figure out what you did. You had your way with Carson’s girlfriend against her will.”

“Now, hold on a sec.” I said, suddenly finding more energy in my voice, like an adrenaline pipe had been opened. “That’s not what happened at all.”

“Maybe not from your perspective, but you’re a guy.” Replied Jenna, with a tone that let me know she was sure in what she was saying. “Your perception is warped. You did things to her against her will. Maybe she said she was okay with it, but that’s just you taking advantage of her hormones. You took advantage of her.”

“You don’t even know what happened! She took advantage of me!” I protested. “She was drunk at a party and-”

“So you came on to her while she was drunk.” Jenna interrupted. “The evidence is just piling up. I know you don’t understand it yet, but that’s pure misogyny. When you’re older you’ll see-”

“Shut up!!” I yelled at her with enough to make her eyes get a little wider, if only for a second. “This is exactly why I don’t want to tell anyone else! And now you forced it out of me, so since you’re going to hear the god damn story, you’re going to hear the whole thing, without interrupting me. Got that?!”

She shrugged. “Fine, whatever.”

And so, I proceeded to tell her everything, from the first time Nicole gave me a ride all the way up to the party. Her face mostly remained unchanged throughout the whole story.

“And then after that whole thing happened,” I concluded, “she said no one could know about it, so she threatened me. She told me if I told anyone, she’d lie that I raped her.”

Jenna sat in attentive silence for a few seconds. “Is that all, can I speak now?” She finally asked.

“Yeah, I’m done.” I exhaled. “I just can’t believe it. I need to tell Carson anyway, but she threatened to tell people that I raped her. That is just so wrong.”

“It’s because you did rape her. Just saying.” Jenna said, sipping at her drink again.

“How?!” I protested. “She came on to me. I refused. I told her I was uncomfortable. She persuaded me to do things I didn’t want to do, then threatened me afterwards when I wanted to do the right thing.”

“That’s just how you’re seeing things after the fact to justify yourself.” Jenna explained with the tone of a Harvard professor. “You’ve twisted the truth to the point where you’re lying even to yourself.”

“I didn’t rape her!” I yelled at her, not knowing what to say. “Hell, she came closer to raping me.”

“Girls can’t rape.” Jenna explained to me. “Only men can assert sexual dominance. Girls lack the moral inability, especially since men are used to oppressing women in our society. You see, rape has to do with power, not just sex. It’s a systemic attack men innately use because of their inner misogynistic desire to ‘put women in their place.’ Of course you think rape is just non-consensual sex – you’re going by the dictionary definition of rape, the one that was created by a man.”

I thought about how I would reply to that, trying to use her situation to reason with her why she was wrong. However, as I began to realize something a laugh began to form in my throat.

“What’s so funny?” Jenna asked me, caught a little off guard.

“Of course you would see guys that way.” I explained to her with a smile. “You live with Carson, and have to experience the Carter family. From what I’ve heard… They’re not the best example of guys.” I regained my serious composure. “But that doesn’t mean you can paint all guys with the same brush. If I was a girl and was telling you the same story, you would totally be on my side. That’s a little sexist, don’t you think?”

“Me, sexist?!” Jenna exclaimed, offended. “You’re the sexist one! If you were a girl you wouldn’t have done what you did, because what you did was sexual harassment. Do you want to know what you should do?”

“I’ll bite.” I replied, and was surprised to find that I was actually beginning to enjoy this debate instead of hate the debate, or Jenna, for it. “What should I do?”

“Drop Nicole, definitely drop May, and break up with Megan. She can do a lot better than a cheating rapist.” Jenna fired back, aiming to offend me back after I got under her skin. I kept my cool, since showing I was offended would have meant her victory.

“All three?” I asked, curious. “You don’t think I belong with any of them?”

Jenna shook her head. “Nope. You took advantage of Nicole’s nature for some quick, easy sex, you coerced Megan into liking you just for the sex, and you basically raped May. Do you see a common theme here?”

“They’re all completely different stories from what actually happened?” I quipped.

Jenna ignored me. “They all have to do with sex. I saw this before, with Carson, and you do not want to end up like him. You’re searching for the wrong thing. Sex has warped my little brother.”

“Warped.” I repeated in slight disbelief.

She nodded. “He doesn’t really know what love is anymore, and just confuses love with sex and good conversation. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for you to coerce May.” She paused and took a sip from her drink. “He has a different sense of love and belonging now… A wrong one. You’re kind of inexperienced compared to him, so I feel like you can still be saved. But if you keep hanging around those and keep getting cheap sex from them, you won’t be. I’m trying to help you, you know.”

I’m sure in her own mind, she had nothing but the purest intentions. “And what if I do end up with any of them in the end?” I asked her.

“You won’t.” Jenna replied simply, taking yet another sip from her drink.

With perfect timing, the door swung open after just the right amount of silence had filled the room and in swaggered Carson. He didn’t quite see me at first, and went into the kitchen. I heard him sigh loudly as he fiddled around in the kitchen. “Man, the English exam today was a bitch.” He proclaimed loud enough for both of us to hear it.

“You know I don’t like it when you use that word, Carson.” Jenna barked back at him. He clearly knew how to get under her skin without even trying.

You could practically hear Carson grinning from the kitchen. “Well maybe that’s why I said it,” he smugly retorted as he marched right into the living room, only then noticing I was in the house. “Oh…” He simply said. “Hey… buddy…”

“Hey, Carson.” I replied back, trying to force my nervousness down. “Sorry for coming over unannounced. I just need to talk about something with you.”

“Uh… Sure, cool.” Carson replied flatly, taking a seat. “What do you need to talk about?”

I shot Jenna a look of nervousness. Quite frankly, I both didn’t know how to begin and didn’t want her to be present. However, at the same time, with my eyes I pleaded with her to start the conversation for me, to ease me into the topic so I wouldn’t have to go through with the painful awkwardness of bringing it up.

Unfortunately, either Jenna wasn’t as good at reading minds as Nicole was, or didn’t really want to help, because after about one second of eye contact, she promptly stood up. “Probably something stupid,” she lamely commented as she stood up and walked towards the staircase. No one said anything until she disappeared up the stairs. Soon after, Carson and I heard a door shut.

“Ignore her.” Carson ordered. “What’s up?”

Well, my lifeline was gone. Here goes nothing, I thought to myself. “So, you know the party that happened last night?”

“Yeah.” He replied, disinterested. “May invited me, but I didn’t really feel like going, so I turned her down.”

Almost relieved that the topic was shifting, I sat up, attentive. “You turned your own girlfriend down?” I asked, smiling in slight disbelief.

He shrugged. “I didn’t wanna do it. I shouldn’t have to do it if I don’t wanna. She went anyway, though. I wasn’t worried, though. She was kinda pissed that I shut her down, but in the end she’ll come crawling back to me.” A grin sported his face as he finished his sentence.

Yeah, Carson. By all means, make this more difficult. I inhaled slowly, and exhaled sharply before I told all. The encounter in the hallway, Megan’s interruption (which led to discussing Megan, though I made sure to leave out Nicole), May’s reaction to me being at the party and how she got more drunk and horny as the night progressed. As I explained, Carson’s expression quickly changed from a grin to a serious, disapproving yet glazed glare. After I was finished, a good minute passed before Carson spoke.

“You could have told me you kissed her already.” He simply said.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for… everything.” I replied, trembling slightly.

He waved me off. “You’re too dramatic, man.” He said, with a more serious voice than I’ve ever heard him use before. He paused again before continuing. “It’s cool. I don’t blame you.”

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t blame you.” He repeated. “These kinda things happen. I’ve been drunk before, man. I totally get that you weren’t thinking straight. I don’t wanna hold this against you.”

“Oh.” I simply responded. It wasn’t really lying if I didn’t acknowledge it. I was stone sober the whole night, of course, but I guess he didn’t need to know that.

“Was May drunk too?” He asked, with a little more hostility.

“May was definitely drunk.” I said with a slight chuckle. My eyes met his and my small smile disappeared entirely.

He nodded slowly. “Okay.” He said, then softened up a little. “Relax, buddy. You look like you’re going to have a heart attack.”

I became self-aware enough to notice I was two steps from hyperventilation. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly again.

“Hate the game, not the player.” Carson remarked out loud. “It’s cool. As long as you were drunk and weren’t thinking clearly, I’m not upset with you.”

I shifted in my seat and didn’t say anything. Carson accepted it as a continuation of my previous silence and moved on.

“I do need to talk with May though.” He thought aloud. He loudly sighed, then stood up. “Um, listen…” he began. “I need a little time to myself. Would you mind getting out of here? No offense.”

“Uh, sure, yeah.” I quickly said, thanking the heavens that went down as quickly and smoothly as it did. Wordlessly, I stood up and walked towards the front door. Carson didn’t accompany me or anything. I think he went straight to his room.

I was supposed to feel better after telling him, but I ended up feeling worse. I didn’t dare look back – I never really saw Carson so drained like that before, and the knowledge that I caused that made shame burn through my cheeks. Feeling kind of drained myself, I trudged out of the door. I was what I expected to see, a black Ford Focus and a hipster in sunglasses casually eating a granola bar.

“12:30″ my ass.” Nicole bitterly declared as she looked at her phone. “Try 1:06.”

“Carson got home late.” I justified myself. “Didn’t you see him walk by?”

“I was busy doing other things.” Nicole defended herself, her mouth full of her granola bar. “Exam time is actually crunch time for the school paper too, you know. And typing is a lot more difficult in a car.”

“Maybe you just couldn’t see him.” I quipped, pointing to the sunglasses. “What’s with the shades?”

“Snow is bright, bozo.” Nicole shot back, a mischievous smile on her face. “Just get the fuck in the car.”

We got in the car and Nicole started it, beginning to drive without a word being exchanged between us. Almost out of a sense of obligation, I justified myself again. “You could have texted me if you needed to get out of here.”

Nicole stopped at a stoplight before she looked at me, one eyebrow visibly cocked behind her sunglasses. “You stopped going to karate to avoid talking to me. The last time you texted me in who knows how long was because you needed me to be your chauffeur. Want me to hold your fucking hand too?”

I tried to formulate a response, but my blind anger quickly faded to allow my brain to soak in the truth of her words. “Sorry.” I eventually croaked.

Nicole sighed loudly. “I’m sorry too.”

Silence followed. To see if Nicole was still pissed, I looked in her direction, only to realize that with the sunglasses, I couldn’t quite make out what emotion was on her face. Out of habit, my eyes travelled downwards to her boobs. The way they rose and fell with her breath. Memories of sucking on them for the first time arose within me. The little smile she gave after everything we did in her room…

Nope. I was still in a relationship. I wasn’t allowed to be thinking about her that way. My eyes scanned around her car, looking for something new to look at. There wasn’t much – a few empty energy drink cans, an empty bag of fast food, her camera (apparently she needed to take it EVERYWHERE), jumper cables and other car equipment…

“Can’t take your eyes off them, huh?” Nicole commented slyly.

“Yeah, your jumper cables are quite interesting.” I fired back.

Nicole chuckled. “You’re getting better with your comebacks, squirt.” She remarked. Then, even though she was still driving, she worked her shirt over her head. Of course, she was only wearing one layer, and soon my gaze was met with her beautiful boobs, each proudly displaying her large areolae and erect nipples.

Half of me was instantly turned on. Luckily, that was no longer my dominant half, not after the party. I coughed nervously. “Nicole, I’m still in a relationship. You can’t be exposing yourself like that to me. Please put your shirt back on.”

Nicole huffed. “You were a lot more fun when you were single.”

“Why, because I was easier to manipulate?” I retorted. I groaned internally as I made a big realization – We may be talking again, but now there was clearly a wedge driven between Nicole and I.

“Whatever.” Nicole said flatly, putting her shirt back on. “Do what you want, squirt. It’s not like you’re my only option.” She threw me her cell phone. “As long as I’m driving, could you text Brendan Bennett and tell him I wanna hook up?”

I was torn between fuming and laughing out loud at that comment. I did what she asked and put the phone in the cupholder, thinking to myself how painfully obvious it was, what Nicole was trying to do.

“Are you jealous, Nicole?” I asked her finally.

“Yes, Adam. Because I’m completely the jealous type.” Even behind her shades, I could feel her rolling her eyes. “Just accept that I have needs and if you’re not filling them because you’re in some emotional shit with some other girl, I can’t just wait for you two to be done. I gotta take care of my own needs.”

I was expecting her to admit defeat, but I couldn’t make heads nor tails of what she had said. On the one hand, she replied instantly and sounded like she was telling the truth. On the other, I’d seen her lie before, and she was good enough to fool a room full of people.

Silence filled the car. Finally, Nicole piped up again. “Fucking break up with her.”

“Huh?” I asked in response.

“Break up with Megan. The sooner, the better. You’re turning into a different person, and I don’t like it. You’re losing yourself, I’ve seen it happen before.” Nicole stated forcefully.

“We won’t last forever, but I don’t see how this is any of your business.” I shot back with just as much force.

“I’m not just a walking set of tits with a car, Adam. I care about you.” Nicole argued.

“I asked you to put those away. You can’t use that against me. If you want to show them, fine. But you can’t hold that against me when that’s your own choice.” I argued back.

“See, you’re just focussing on that stuff. It’s like you can’t even see how I care. She’s changed you.” Nicole retaliated. “I miss the Adam I met. We used to hang out, have fun. Now you just use me just so you could share a joke with your friend Carson, and when I try to be myself around you, you tell me to stop it. Break up with her, it’s damaging you.”

A joke?! I fucking wish it was a joke. The real joke was her attitude during an emotional day for me. “Nicole, I get you had some bad times with Jeff, but that doesn’t mean you get to be my personal psychiatrist. Just because you don’t like what he did with you doesn’t mean you get to criticize my relationship. Now step off.”

I had absolutely no clue why I said that. I cringed as soon as I finished. Nicole’s breathing got heavier as she drove from that point onward. She began driving slower and slower, until she parked by the curb. As soon as she shifted the car into park, she turned and looked at me, her breath still heavy.

“Get out. You’re walking from this point on.” She said coldly, full of fury.

I sighed. Fine, I thought to myself as I opened the door and got outside.

Before I could shut the door she spoke. “When you’re ready to talk to me without being a dick, text me.” She reached in to the cupholder and pulled out her phone, dangling it in her hands. “I wanna be your friend again, but you seriously need to get yourself under control and stop having periods so you can have fun and be happy like a normal fucking person.” She paused before adding, “Plus, if I tell you something in confidence, don’t fucking bring it up.” Her voice began to quiver. “Let me know if you come up with some funny fucking jokes about Mitch too, huh?” Her eyes were showed the beginnings of tears. She reached over and shut the door.

I opened it again before she could drive off. “I’m sorry, Nicole. That comment was uncalled for.” I admitted.

“I fucking know it was.” She replied with anger. “Now shut the door.”

I admitted defeat and shut the door. As she drove off speedily, I sighed again. I totally fucked up with that comment. Comparing a forced and painful first time and being treated like crap to being in a fake relationship… I definitely deserved what I got.

As I began walking home, I justified the situation to myself. I’d been forced into cheating, blackmailed, and I still told Carson, which was one of the hardest things I had ever done, all due to the moral code that Nicole herself taught me. Of course I was gonna lash out, especially since she seemed to be begging for an argument today.

Well, one down, one to go, I bitterly thought to myself as my house came into view quite a few minutes later. I told Carson, now I had to tell Megan. And I couldn’t do it at school, I had to tell her at her home. Even though her parents, and Matt…. Oh god, Matt… Would probably be there. Well, tough. I fucked up, and if I was committed to telling her, I had to do it right. God knows who was going to drive me home afterwards, too… On day one of confessions, I had managed to fuck it up again and once more, alienate my ride… No, my best friend. Nicole must hate me, I thought to myself.

Of course, I had thought this without noticing that Nicole was sitting at her window, having eagerly awaited to see me come home for the last half hour, feeling guilty as hell and wanting nothing more than to see me come home safely. I probably would have thought, and done, differently if I saw her at her window, a look of worry replaced by one of relief on her face as she saw me approach, clutching a CD close to her chest – the one I got her.

***

Megan was initially thrilled when I wanted to come over to her place. Frankly, I was kind of glad myself – the school atmosphere felt harsh during exams. Naturally, the fact that I didn’t dare look Carson in the eye during our math exam didn’t help this fact, so it seemed like everything was falling into place. Even so, the sense of inevitability made me sick. I wasn’t going to Megan’s place to chill out and be happy. I was going over there to tell her I was a cheater, and break up with her.

I thanked my lucky stars that her parents didn’t happen to be home. The thought didn’t cross my mind until we were already inside and she shouted up the stairs for them, only to be greeted with silence. There are a few memories about high school people don’t forget. One of mine, for all the wrong reasons, was when she looked at me right after realizing her parents weren’t home, pouted, and said, “Too bad. I wanted them to meet my boyfriend.”

God damn. If guilt had a name…

“Megan…” I sighed, following her into the kitchen and sitting down at their dinner table, “We need to talk about that.”

I could detect an air of nervousness as she helped herself to an apple. “Why?” She asked.

“Sit down.” I offered, gesturing to another chair. She took a seat reluctantly as I continued. “I already told you how we’re a really fake couple and how the feeling isn’t real, right?”

She thought she understood where I was going as she dropped the apple onto the table and grabbed my hand, covering it with hers. “It’s okay, Adam. We can work through that. Love develops, it doesn’t just show up. I’m sorry if it’s a little weird right now but…. I just need this. I’ll get better, you’ll see. You’ll be glad to have me, I promise.”

I wasn’t sure if the guilt was growing or if it already grew so much that I, for some reason, reached that magical point of not caring. Nevertheless, I just laughed softly, looking into her confused, frightened eyes. “It’s not about you, Megan. Don’t worry. It’s not about that.”

Her fright was replaced with more confusion. “It’s not?” She asked me, slowly letting go of my hand. “What’s it about?”

Here we go, I thought to myself. I sighed and my eyes hit the floor. “Megan…” I began slowly. “Remember that party I went to? The one you were supposed to come to too?”

I heard nothing for the first few seconds. Then again, I was still eyeing the floor, not daring to look up at her since I was already through the looking glass. For all I knew, she could have been nodding. “Yeah…” I heard her say slowly, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

“Well… I’m not going to sugarcoat this.” I was going to spin the story a bit, but I wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. “I’ve never really been to a party like that before, and there was booze and people everywhere. It was a bit too much for me.” I justified in my head that if making it seem like I was drunk would soften the blow to Carson, it would soften the blow to her as well. “Before I knew it, one of my friends had convinced me to… I found myself in… We did things, Megan. Like, sex things. I’m sorry.”

My eyes stung. No tears were happening, but my heart was pounding in my ears. “Okay.” I heard Megan quietly say. I still didn’t look up though, and didn’t until Megan grabbed my hand again with both of hers. I looked up slowly to look into her eyes and saw that her face was surprisingly neutral.

“Did you hear me? I said it’s okay.” Megan explained.

Wait, what? “Huh?” I asked her lamely.

“It happens. Every good relationship has its bad moments. You did something bad, but you told me. That means the world to me, Adam.” She said, a small smile forming on her face. She paused, then continued. “I still think we can work. I’ll try as best as I can not to let this change us. Who was the girl, by the way?”

Um… No. This wasn’t supposed to be the result. She was supposed to get angry. Slap me. Argue with me. We’d break up. I’d move on with my life. She’d be more dependent with hers. This wasn’t the plan at all.

“I don’t wanna say.” I managed to say through all of my conflicting thoughts. “It would just cause unnecessary shit.”

Her look grew distant and a small scowl replaced her slight smile. “It’s Nicole, isn’t it?” She asked me.

“No!” I immediately replied, finding more energy in my voice. “It wasn’t her. Nicole wasn’t even at that party. I just don’t think the person was relevant. It was my fault anyway.” I looked down in shame again.

I felt Megan’s finger on the bottom of my chin, pulling my face up. My face was lifted to meet hers as she sweetly kissed me. “We’re okay, Adam.” She softly whispered, going in for a hug. Megan was an interesting character, I had to say. She went from hopeful to sad to gentle in roughly 30 seconds.

I pulled away from the hug. “No.” I said softly. “I just can’t do it. I can’t be in a relationship with you like this knowing what I did.” Half of that was B.S. just used to justify me wanting to break up with her, but the other half found some truth in that statement.

She immediately leaned in to me. “No, it’s okay.” She said frantically, pulling me into another hug. “We’re okay, Adam. We’re okay.” She pulled away to look me in the face. Her face looked very sad. “I just got you. Don’t tell me it’s ending like this.”

“Megan, you don’t want me.” I reasoned, breaking away from her and standing up. “I’m a cheating mess, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. In a relationship you give some of yourself to the other person, and they share it with you. I can’t do that if I don’t even have enough of myself to give. And it’s stuff like that that probably led us to this situation. If we keep going like this, who knows how else I’ll hurt you? I don’t want to lose myself. Plus, your dependence on me kind of scares me. I want you to be your own wonderful person.” I gave her a small smile before continuing. She didn’t smile back. “I feel like you’ll get too used to being Adam’s girl instead of being Megan Schneider if you were with me. That’s wrong. The fact that you can’t even stand up for yourself when your own boyfriend cheated on you is wrong.”

She was silent for a long time. “Who was the girl, Adam?” She finally asked in a small voice.

I sighed. “I’m not going to say.”

“Who was the girl?”

“It’s just going to cause unnecessary drama.” I reasoned.

“Who was she?”

“I don’t-”

“Who was she?!” She asked loudly, jumping up from her seat, then covered her mouth with her hands. She plopped back into her chair, her hands still covering her mouth, and breathed heavily.

I got down on one knee in front of her. “You okay?” I asked her. She nodded. I chuckled. “You don’t yell a lot, do you?”

“Not ever.” Megan said in a timid voice, muffled by her hands. “Adam, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know how to be…” She paused. “Never mind.” She finished.

“No, please. Say it. I’m listening. Intently.” I insisted, leaning in with interested.

She slowly removed her hands from in front of her mouth. “I don’t… know how to be confident around you. I don’t like myself. I want to be like the other girls and have confidence, have their smile, their bodies, their… I want to be them.”

“Megan, you’re perfectly fi-”

“I want to be Nicole.”

I was taken aback. “Nicole? Why her?”

She shrugged, looking off into the distance.

“Why Nicole?” I repeated.

She pulled her lips together nervously. “Remember the first council, where she kissed me?” I nodded. “I never even thought about kissing anyone, let alone a girl, before that day. She seemed so fun, so full of adventure. So confident. Like she doesn’t care about anyone, she just likes being herself. I want to feel like that. I want to feel like no one is judging me when I walk through the halls.” She thought to herself. “Actually… No. I want to not care when I see people judging me. I don’t want people to giggle when the shy girl turns pink when a romantic moment happens in a book she’s reading. I don’t want people to stare when I’m holding my books really tight in front of me when I walk through the halls. I don’t want people to look down on me. I want them to… To…” She started fumbling with her words.

“Respect you?” I offered.

“Want me.” She said flatly, shocking me. “I want people to look at me and think, ‘Gosh… I want to be with her.’ And when I saw you and Nicole, I got so jealous. She had that too. She got to have you. And even May had it. Yet another cute boy, and when I tried to talk to him, I come off as too shy and he doesn’t care.”

“So you seduced me.” I concluded.

Megan bit her lip and nodded nervously. “I wanted you to want me too. You were cute and you seem to really care about people. So I took a big risk. I figured if it didn’t work, there was no point trying for anyone anyway, so it’s not like my reputation would matter anymore…” She laughed sadly, which turned into quick breaths, which I gathered was her attempts not to cry.

“Hence why you were so upset when I didn’t hold your hand?” I asked her.

She shut her eyes and quickly nodded. “It backfired. You wanted me, but only because I offered sex.” She continued, her voice quivering. “But you couldn’t accept being with me in public. I thought something was wrong with me. Then when I saw you with May, I wondered if… If you just saw all girls that way.”

I coughed in expectation. She looked at me and softly smiled. “I know, it was different with her.” Her smile gathered tears. “It always is with the other girls. You even cheated on me, and don’t think I’m worth enough to know her name.” The tears started flowing.

Yup, I was a jackass. A complete and total jackass. I was going to say something, but she continued. “I get it, though. I’m not right for you. I don’t think you cheating was part of a plan or anything, but it created a good opportunity to break up with me, didn’t it?”

“The truth?” I asked. Trying to curb her crying, she nodded. “Yeah. It did create an opportunity. But I promise, the cheating, I did not… I wouldn’t normally…”

She took my hand yet again. We stared into each others’ eyes for several seconds of silence. “We’re okay.” She finally said, and hugged me.

The hug lasted forever. By the time we broke away, the redness in her eyes was fading. “So, I guess we’ve broken up now, haven’t we?” She asked.

I made a sad, sympathetic expression and nodded. “I meant what I said about finding your own person, Megan.” I said. “It’s the best thing for both of us right now. But I’m glad you told me everything.” For the first time, I took her hand in mine. “I’m glad I got to learn about what you want. And boyfriend or not, now that you told me, now that you were honest with me and being your own person… I care about you. I’m not judging you. I’m glad you’re my friend.”

Megan broke into a grin. “Is it weird for exes to hang out and be friends?” She shyly asked.

I returned her smile. “I sure hope not.” I replied.

A sudden slam of the front door broke us from our trance. Megan, immediately nervous, got up from her seat and stood in front of me, as if to block me from someone’s view. When Matt emerged in the kitchen doorway, I understood why.

Upon seeing us, his eyes flashed with confusion, then anger. “You…” He began menacingly. “What are you doing here?” He turned to Megan. “What is he doing here?”

He had a look that could burn a hole through a man’s face. Before I could speak up, Megan did it for me. “Matt, it’s okay.” She said soothingly. “I invited him over. We just wanted to talk, that’s all.”

“Talk?!” Matt sputtered. “Meg, last time you two wanted to ‘talk,’ he convinced you to blow him, then made you feel like shit afterwards. Did you forget that? I don’t want this slug in my house.”

Megan turned pink. I guess she didn’t have the talk with him about me, despite her promise. “Matt…” She began shyly. “He didn’t make me fellate him. I wanted to.”

I had never seen a human being with a bigger look of bewilderment on their face than Matt at that moment. As a matter of fact, I never saw a human face mimic the look on his face before. It looked like drawing a shocked face on a marshmallow then putting it in the microwave. “Excuse me?” He finally managed.

“I wanted to fellate him.” Megan repeated, a bit more nervously this time. Presuming Matt knew what the word meant (I certainly didn’t, but I think I could guess), he was even more appalled the second time he heard this. “What are you saying?” He managed.

Megan shrugged and her stance lost confidence. Her shoulders moved inwards and her knees moved together. Her gaze lowered down to her shoes. “I wanted someone to want me, so I seduced him. He accepted, but misunderstood, and thought I only wanted his… you know. So I got upset and lied to you about him. He’s a good guy, I just got upset. Please don’t get angry at him.”

Matt’s face was twisted in a combined look of confusion and anger. Frankly, I don’t blame him – if someone were explaining me something I didn’t know about, and they explained it like that, I’d be confused too. He took a few seconds to stomach what she had told him, and his face dissolved. “Is that so?” He finally asked calmly.

Megan nodded. “I’m sorry for lying to you, Matt.”

He shook his head solemnly. “No, you shouldn’t feel bad for lying.” He sidestepped so he could look past her, right into my eyes. “You should. You’ve trained my sister really well, haven’t you? I thought you were a good guy. Man up and face the truth. Don’t use my own damn sister to pull the wool over my eyes.”

I could practically hear Megan rolling her eyes, despite not being able to see her. “Matt, don’t make him the bad guy just b-”

“Shut up.” Matt fired fiercely at her, his eyebrows met in a V.

“Okay.” Megan weakly conceded, sitting down.

“And you.” Matt continued, pointing at me. “If you cause my sister any more trouble you’ll be sorry you were ever born.” He moved his finger from pointing towards me to the door. “You aren’t going to spend any more time around my sister. You’re not going to talk to her any more. You’re going to make good on your promise to me.”

Megan turned around to me. “Promise?” She mouthed.

“I’ll explain later.” I mouthed back. She lowered an eyebrow and cocked her head in curiosity, but shrugged and turned back around.

“And you’re banished.” Matt finished.

“Banished?” I asked him.

“Banished from this house. You’re bad news, Adam. I thought you were a good guy, but you let me down. You’re nothing but bad news, and now you’ve dragged my sister into all this. Now get out.”

I remained unmoving, not quite challenging him with my eyes, but eyes locked with him all the same. He lowered both eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. “Get out!!” He yelled, repeating himself.

I understood defeat. Matt intimidated me. I had to leave. Standing up, I wordlessly told him, ‘okay.’ Megan immediately launched forwards towards me, wrapping her arms around me in a desperate hug.

“Cut it out.” Matt interjected, a little more calm than before. Softly yet forcefully, he separated us with his arms. Megan, now a good few feet away from me, managed a small smile. I returned it as I sighed and left.

Matt followed me to the door. He nodded as I opened the door and stepped outside to the snowy porch. “Good boy.” He said sternly. “Now stay away from her, and don’t cause any more trouble. Make Phil proud of you.”

A shot him a look at the mention of Phil’s name as Matt closed the door. This time, I had no ride. I sighed as I started my journey back home through the snow. By car, it would have been fifteen minutes, so I probably had three hours of walking ahead of me. As I took my first few steps, I felt a vibrating in my pocket. I took out my phone and turned on the screen.

I’m so sorry. <3

It was from Megan. Sighing, I gave my phone a small smile. I didn’t feel like texting her back, but I think I did need to text a certain someone. Searching for Nicole in my contacts, I found her and brought up the messages screen.

You were right. I broke up with Megan.

I hoped that would soften her disposition towards me somewhat. Though, as I expected, she didn’t text me back for the rest of the day. Although, that didn’t stop me from being disappointed for every second as I made the multiple-hour-long journey home.

***

It’s kind of funny to look back on the exams of my grade nine year. They were the first exams I ever had in high school, and objectively, should have been very important to me. But the most important things in my life were happening outside of school. People say that school is important. Teachers say that school is important.

“And I bet you of all teachers think the most that school is important.” I continued my rant. “But it’s important for all the wrong reasons. All this drama… Like, high school drama, not theater drama… all this unnecessary crap… I don’t want it to be important.” I paused, and scoffed. “I bet you’re gonna say that I’m undermining the exam I have tomorrow. But I just can’t shake the feeling that all this crap happening around me is more important, but I don’t want it to be.”

Mr. Salvador looked up at me from the papers on his desk he was marking, his eyes made bigger from his glasses. “It’s as important as you make it.” He told me. “And you’re right.”

“What, that it’s unnecessary?” I asked.

“You are undermining the importance of tomorrow’s exam.” He told me. “You’re a very passionate person when you want to be, Adam. I see potential in that. But you’re putting your feelings in all of the wrong places. Undermining drama, sensationalizing… well, sensationalizing bullshit, and casual sex… None of it is needed.”

It didn’t even register to me that a normally professional teacher used a swearword in front of a grade nine. I was too busy processing the information I was given.

He continued nonetheless. “You need to put your passion into your work, and you need to let go of the personals. Leave ego outside the classroom. You can’t let who you are and how you feel blind you to what is actually important. You keep refusing, clamming up, and you will not do well. Do you know how tough this exam is? Only one person in my experience has managed to ace their grade 9 drama exam.”

“Who, Paul?” I scoffed.

Mr. Salvador was slightly taken aback. “It’s no business of yours, but Paul actually did quite poorly in his grade nine drama year.” He explained. “And his tenth. He only got his act together around grade eleven. He didn’t find himself before then.” He paused. “Why did you think Paul?”

“I mean… his acting… He’s…” I managed.

He chuckled. “I actually see a lot of Paul in you.” He went on. “You both undermine like crazy, but you both have potential.” He paused again. “Let’s hope you actually use yours.”

“He’s okay!” I defended him. “He’s good at figuring out people. He’s kind. He helps people.”

“We’re talking about Paul Stevens, right?” Salvador quipped. “Well, don’t ever talk to Brianne Lynne with that attitude.”

“Why?” I asked, suddenly intrigued.

“Paul and Brianne were in a relationship last year. There were a lot of feelings. Teen love, as you might call it. These feelings got in the way of class, and the school play they were both involved in, but those were minor offenses compared to the things Paul did during that relationship. The way he made her feel.”

“What things did Paul do?” I asked, heavily invested.

Salvador blinked twice. “Wow.” He remarked. “I’ll give you this, Adam. You know how to make me break character.” He gave me a short smile, followed by a completely serious face. “It’s not my place to gossip about students.”

“Well, the genie is out of the bottle, you might as well go on.” I encouraged, disappointed that it would end here.

“If you’re going to ask, ask him yourself. But this conversation didn’t happen. When you walk outside this office, you’re going to forget what we talked about. So am I.” He said seriously. “Are we done?”

“Yeah, that’s all I’ve got for today.” I said, getting up. “I just hope I made the right decision breaking up with Megan.”

“You’re missing the point,” He retorted, going back to his papers. “You made the right decision when you decided you’d care about her feelings once you listened to her story.” He resumed marking exams from the class before. I nodded and started to leave the office, when he added, “Not everyone is going to tell you their story like that.”

I didn’t even respond, or say goodbye. I think Salvador was rubbing off on me.

Once I was out of the doorway, I sighed to myself in the empty hallway. Three exams done. Feelings vented to Salvador. No girlfriend. I was sitting pretty. Then again, for my first year of high school, I think I was seeing entirely too much action in my day-to-day life.

“Adam Watson, you bastard.” I whipped my head around to see the source of that statement, May Stevens. She had a look on her face so angry it could melt steel. This alone could have been considered too much action for me.

I looked desperately back towards Salvador’s office. The door was closed, locked from the outside, and I knew that room was soundproof. I knew he wouldn’t be any help at this point. Already emotionally spent from my visit with him, I frankly didn’t have enough energy to care anymore at the sight of May. “Hey, May.” I greeted humorously with my arms out, Mafia-style. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?!” She asked me with gritted teeth. “I can’t believe you fucking told him. I had a perfect relationship, but since you couldn’t have me, you decided to ruin it.”

With every word she took another step towards me. I laughed in her face. “You came on to me, May. I told my own girlfriend as well. It was the right thing to do.”

“Did she break up with you?” She spat at me. “I hope so. Carson made a big fucking show about breaking up with me.” She stopped looking so angry and shivered. “He never yelled at me like that before.” She looked back at me and resumed her fuming expression. “I don’t cheat. But now I look like the cheating bitch. All because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!”

“You cheated on Carson, May. It happened, and you suffered the consequences.” I fired back, my voice gaining volume. “Get over it.”

“You-!” May yelled out, before pulling her arm back, getting ready to punch me in the face.

Instinct took over. Right as she was about to punch me, I moved right out of the way in the nick of time. Her hand sailed past my head as, without thinking, I grabbed her arm with one hand and twisted it slightly. With my other hand, I grabbed her upper arm and secured it in position. It was enough to immobilize her, but not enough to cause her any pain.

At first, she resisted. Finally, she realized that I, quite literally, had the upper hand and stopped struggling, Her voice considerably weaker, she finally squeaked, “Are you going to hurt me?”

One thing I was proud of about myself (just about the only thing) was that I never did believe in violence. If I had a way to solve a problem without causing another person pain, it was not only my right, but my responsibility to avoid any violence in my life. Armed only with that information, I leaned in close to her ear and whispered as meaningfully as possible, “I never would.” I released her arm and backed away.

May looked at me. The next thing I knew, she was crying. She had completely broken down, falling to the floor in some kind of pile, sobbing her eyes out. Out of instinct, I pulled her up from the floor and helped her to the wall, where she sank down anyway. Feeling more pity for her than I probably should have, I sank down next to her.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out in between tears. “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know.”

At this point, my rational side told me not to give her the time of day, but Nicole’s voice, the voice calling out to me to be chivalrous at all times, won me over. “What do you mean?” I asked.

She cried for about a minute solid before she could get her voice steady enough to answer. “I don’t ever ch-cheat. I-it’s not something I do. I’ve always been completely against it.” She swallowed a few sniffles. “But I’ve only ever had a couple of sips of beer before, and I thought, ‘I wanna see what getting shitfaced is like.’ ”

Was ‘shitfaced’ seriously a word that actual human beings use? “Didn’t like it?” I asked her.

“I loved it.” She confessed. “But before I knew it, I was getting greedy. I only did things that made me feel good, without thinking of what might happen. Next thing I knew, I had cheated. The one thing I swore I would never do.”

Even though I was listening intently, I was starting to feel some sympathy for Paul and Mr. Salvador. I think this made it three self-exploring exposition sessions in a week, all by different girls. It was getting hard to sympathize when the only conversation I took part in from girls was either really misandric, or yet another sobstory.

“I’m sorry, Adam. I shouldn’t blame you. I was just… scared. I’m scared. I don’t even know who I am anymore.” She continued, before scrunching her knees together and putting her head in between them.

“That’s kind of what high school is for though, isn’t it?” I suggested, trying to comfort her. “I don’t think I know myself yet. None of us are perfect. Maybe only now are you discovering who you actually are. Maybe the no-cheat shy May is just an act, and you’ve actually been suppressing what you really believe in all along.”

“Isn’t that bad?” She asked me.

I shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s also honest. If you keep trying to hide who you are, eventually it can just make you feel like crap from the inside. I know that May cheated. And now, I’d rather get to know the May that did the cheating than the mask of the goody two-shoes she hides behind. We may have had our moments of bad times, but I mean this when I say it…” I scooted my butt so I could look her in the eye. “If you were completely honest to everyone, faults and all, and someone told me that they loved you… I wouldn’t have to ask why.”

Jesus. My life was turning into a cheesy 90s sitcom. Although, I will admit, the way May’s face turned from a crying scowl into a big, dumb grin warmed my heart a little.

She eventually scoffed and turned away. “Who am I kidding? Adam, you’re too sweet to me. But people won’t see me that way.”

“All people won’t, no.” I admitted, then winked at her when she looked back at me. “I live for the ones that do.”

Without needing to announce it, we both stood up in unison, and she stepped forward to hug me.

“Thanks, Adam. You’re more sweet than I deserve. I’m sorry for trying to punch your face.” She said when she let go of me.

I chuckled. “I would have been creamed by the best, Ms. Stevens.” I winked at her. Without another word, she just nodded and left, leaving me alone to my own thoughts.

That went well, I thought to myself. That could have been really ugly. Maybe Nicole was right. Maybe I was becoming an altruist. If my world was becoming a cheesy 90s sitcom, why couldn’t I be Tim Allen or Bill Cosby or Harry Anderson?

Trying to tuck my pride away, I glanced at my watch and groaned. It was past noon already, and as I found out yesterday, it would take more than three hours to walk home. I decided to wait for my bus, which unfortunately, came at the regular 3:30ish time. Slumping back down in the hallway, I was left alone to my thoughts.

***

It’s kind of funny how quickly the important things in my life shifted from what happened in the classroom to what happened outside. I guess that’s why parents encourage their kids to join extracurricular clubs and have friends and stuff.

It barely registered with me that the drama exam even happened. I definitely didn’t ace it, but I did really well while not even having to try. Quite frankly, I had other stuff on my mind. I’m sure Salvador noticed, but I’m also sure that at this point, I didn’t care. There was too much B.S. in my life going on to make me want to care about actual school obligations – besides, it was grade nine. I got straight 80s anyway.

The most important part of the day to me wasn’t the exam, it was the mandatory Student Council meeting that took place right after. Salvador was great in many regards, but apparently notorious for not doing so well in the short term time management department, so the exam was over a bit later than we intended it to be. It was a solo performance exam that took a lot of practice, yet all the same, I wouldn’t remember it down the line. I was sure of that. As I exited the aud, I thought back to an earlier time in the year, when that little object-imitation performance was the most important thing in the world. Boy, my attitude towards school changed quickly.

May brushed past me, and turned back, smiling quickly yet genuinely at me. Even now, I couldn’t shake off that smile. It’s like angels had carved it, and it melted my heart every time. As quick as it appeared, it disappeared, along with her, as she went down another hallway, leaving me to my thoughts.

The thoughts turned dark as I realized that I would have to face both the council and Nicole. The council was pissed at me and frankly, I had hurt Nicole. For a second, I debated just skipping the meeting altogether. After all, everyone at the council hated me.

***

“There he is!” Phil triumphantly declared as I stepped into the council room and prepared for the worst. With his trademark cheesy grin, he approached me and clapped an arm around my shoulder. “You know how I can tell when people are right for the council?”

“H… How?” I timidly asked.

“When they listen.” He simply answered. “When I asked you to make things right and clean up your act, you really fuckin’ listened. I mean, the way you made it up to Megan… That’s a story for the ages.”

Jeff joined in. “The part about the flowers and the signed card was the best. I was wrong about you, man. Welcome back.”

Well, this was a stupidly lucky break if ever there was one. There was no doubt a look of confusion plastered on my face as this all went down, until I spotted Megan standing behind the other council members, looking me in the eye. Shyly yet excitedly, she flashed me a huge grin that told me she came through on her promise to make the council like me again, even though it clearly meant some kind of elaborate lie.

I managed to process what was going on in time to see both Phil and Jeff, as well as many of the other council members, looking at me expectantly, waiting for a response. “Uh… yeah.” I managed. “The flowers… I just figured… Y’know, flowers.”

Phil shared a hearty laugh with the other council members as he strongly slapped me on the back. “Slick, man. Real slick.” He winked at me, then dropped his grin and leaned in close. “Nah, but seriously, what you did was great.” He said seriously, only loud enough so that both of us could hear. “I’ve never seen Megan come out of her shell and feel welcome here like this before. You’re representing the school well. Keep it up.”

“You’re not even mad about what I said about you and Nicole…?” My big mouth opened up and talked before I had a chance to stop it.

Phil looked physically uncomfortable at its mere mention, but quickly recovered and smiled again. “Nah, bro.” He said reassuringly. “Nicole told me the whole thing, and I totally get it. Like, if I came by at the wrong moment, I totally would have gotten that impression too.” Another lie. I was starting to detect a theme. Wait, was Nicole not pissed at me anymore?

Phil leaned in close again and added, “Keep this to yourself, but Nicole and I aren’t exactly tight right now. I know you’re her friend and all, but don’t talk to her about it. We’re in this ‘involved-not-involved’ thing, but I wanna be her boyfriend again.”

“Mum’s the word.” I said to him, smiling, feeling my stomach churn.

He grinned again at me and rejoined the crowd. I looked over and scanned the crowd to find Nicole. Her eyes were fixed on Phil, and she sure as hell looked uneasy. There definitely was something going on between them, and it was also obvious that she talked him down, but didn’t fully break up with him. Or something. She never looked at me, so despite her clearing my name with Phil, so I couldn’t tell if she was okay with me or not. When could I ever, I thought to myself.

“Alright, everyone here?” Phil’s friendly, booming voice asked us all. I looked around the room to see every council member. Two of them were looking at me in the face. The first was Megan, sitting with an innocent, yet clearly less shy-than-usual smile on her face. I smiled back, and saw the other person looking at me with my peripherals. It was Matt, and he clearly wasn’t as persuaded by Phil’s recounting of Megan’s story as the rest of the council was.

“Great.” Phil broke me out of my trance. “Okay, so, great job on a successful first semester, everyone. But you’re not out of the woods yet. Second semester is fast approaching, and that means we got more work to do. Although this year we’re gonna shake it up a little.”

Yeah, sorry, Prezzy, I didn’t really care. In the fashion I had gotten used to from so many meetings in the past, I got ready to doze off without closing my eyes again.

“…And Adam over there…”

After what felt like a measly two minutes, I was being called upon. Great. I snapped to attention. “Yes?” I asked.

“You got in here by asking around. Seeing what people like. That was a cool idea. I’m gonna have you doing that for the next week. See what you can find out – what people liked, what people didn’t, how we can improve, stuff like that.”

“You got it.” I obeyed, still a touch off-guard from being directly talked to during a meeting. The last time that happened, I was being reprimanded for a blowjob in a public place. Ah, how times change.

It kicked in with me a few seconds later that I actually had an obligation. A unique one. I got this weird sense of empowerment from that, like I was being recognized for being me, rather than just weighed down by sex scandals, a theme that pretty much consumed this semester. I could get used to switching themes.

***

“Any other business?” Phil asked the council after another half hour. After being met with silence in response, he continued. “Great. I’ll forward the plans for the talent show to Mr. Scott, and Natalie and Eli, you’re in charge of making sure Mr. Williams adheres to the music council’s budget.”

Eli and the dumb redhead nodded in unison.

“Great.” Phil beamed. “Other than that, I’ve got nothing. Hope exams went well for you guys. Enjoy your week off! I’ll see you all in hell.” As if on cue, everyone started filing out. Clearly, everyone couldn’t wait any more than I could for the well-deserved week off.

However, I wasn’t about to leave so quickly. My potential ride home, and more importantly, my good friend was still in the room. Steeling myself for her strongest reaction, I walked over to her and cleared my throat.

To my surprise, she beamed when she saw me. “Hey, hotshot.” She said happily, getting off of the table she was sitting on to hug me. She broke the hug to look at my face and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Yeesh, what’s with you? You look like you got hit by a train.”

I chuckled slightly, mostly in relief. “I didn’t know whether you were still angry at me.” I explained.

“Are you stupid?” She asked me, one eyebrow cocked. “Of course I’m not.”

“Well, even after I sent you the text saying Megan and I broke up, you didn’t respond…” I started.

She blinked twice. “Yeah, except I did.” She rebutted. She picked up her phone and started thumbing through her messages. “See? Here, after you – aw, shit.”

“What?” I asked, trying to look at her phone.

She held it away from me, but continued. “Fucking service cut out.” She explained. “I didn’t notice. Sorry about that.” She pushed on her phone’s screen and smiled triumphantly. “There! Sent it.”

As soon as she said that, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and turned it on. And it turned me on right back.

Well, now that you’re single… 😉 Was all it said. It didn’t need to say any more – attached was a full-body selfie. Spare a small pair of black socks, Nicole wasn’t wearing anything, and her assets were on full display. I realize it was only days after I had broken up with Megan, but still, the mere sight of Nicole’s beautiful breasts, each crowned by an overly large areola and beautiful erect nipple was too much for me to bear, let alone her beautiful, puffed-out pussy, complete with its trademark erect clit, poking out towards me, begging for me to touch it. No shame was seen on Nicole’s face in the picture. In fact, nothing was visible but mischievous delight with an added hint of lust. Her hand was placed on her hip, which was perfectly cocked to bring my attention to her beautiful, hypnotic hips. Even so, her chest was doing its best to attract my attention, with her arching her back forward, shoving her beautiful breasts in my face.

“Holy shit.” I breathed aloud quietly.

“Tada.” Nicole said with a wink.

“You don’t like to waste time, do you?” I asked her, managing to tear my eyes away from the picture so I could look into her eyes.

She flashed me a mischievous smile mildly reminiscent of that she showed in the picture. “Hey, as far as I know, you’re single now. And apparently, you get all tight-assed when you’re taken, so I’m gonna take it when I can get it.”

“And you’re so sure that I’ll just crawl back to you?” I asked her with my own little wink.

“Call it a hunch.” Nicole responded and broke into a grin. She was right – I missed the way we used to talk. Being able to talk freely like this felt nice. Really nice.

“Hey, Nicole.” Phil cut in. “How’s it going? Could we talk?”

“Okay. Hi!” Nicole said flatly, with no emotion, as she looked at Phil with a blank expression.

“…Like, alone? I just wanna talk with you in private.” Phil responded. He looked at me. “Not to interrupt or anything. No offense, bro.”

I waved him off, reassuring him it was fine. Nicole, however, was not so generous. Coughing once out of discomfort, she said, “Well, sorry, but I’m already talking with Adam here. Can it wait?”

“Well, it would mean a lot to me.” Phil said, with a hint of pleading in his voice.

“Interesting.” Nicole replied sarcastically. “So can it wait?” She was noticeably getting more hostile with each sentence.

Phil sighed loudly. “Yeah, sure, it can. Whatever.” Dejected, he walked out of the room, with the rest of the council, leaving us two to ourselves. Interesting, I thought to myself as I noted Nicole’s inability to be real with Phil. I was definitely going to ask her about this later.

As soon as the last person left, Nicole launched forward, latching her lips onto mine. Her hands clawed desperately around my back as she kissed me passionately. By the time her lips let go of mine, she was breathily heavily.

“You have no idea how much I was holding myself back before.” She chuckled. “Now that you can’t get all whiney about how I can’t kiss you.”

I gave her a look that let her know that while I found her humorous, she could can those jokes whenever she wanted. “Yeah, yeah,” she waved me off. “Need a ride?”

“I’d like one, if that’s okay.” I smiled. She smiled back, and we back to walk out of the council room together. I could definitely get used to this.

“So, looking forward to semester two, kiddo?” She asked me.

“Kiddo?” I asked. “What happened to ‘hotshot’?”

She laughed. “I’m trying out some new stuff. You can’t be ‘squirt’ forever.”

“Sure I can.” I argued. “And I wouldn’t complain.”

Nicole shot me a look I can’t describe. The best way I could describe what was written on her face was ‘perplexed, slaphappy curiosity.’ As she walked down the hallway, she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and cleared her throat, concentrating on her thoughts. As she opened her mouth again, with intent to speak, another voice interrupted us.

“Adam! Nicole!” I turned around to see Megan excitedly following us. Nicole turned around soon after, and upon seeing Megan hurrying towards us, looked back at me with some kind of smug smile with raised eyebrows.

“Hey, Megan.” She purred as Megan caught up to us, only looking away from me to look at her once she had finished her sentence. “What can we do for you?”

“Hi, Nicole.” Megan said, a little shyly. “I was just wondering if Adam could help me put up posters again.” She looked me right in the eye. “You know, like last time.”

…Excuse me? Was Megan coming onto me, literally right after we broke up? Was she so dependent on me that she couldn’t go a few days without some kind of release? I eyed her with a look of slight worry in my eye. Her smile didn’t wane.

“Sure, Meg, no problem.” Nicole said smoothly. “Want us both to help you? After all, I’m sure you wanna get out of here as much as we do. Three sets of hands can put up as many posters as two.”

Posters. She emphasized the word posters. I shot Nicole a look and saw she never wiped that smug look off of her face. Did she know? What the hell was she trying to do?

“Um…” Megan said hesitantly. “I don’t think that would be the best thing to do. I mean, Phil… He showed me a new way to distribute the posters along the halls, and it would take too long to teach you. Adam knows, though.”

Wow. Megan was… The worst liar ever. Her eyes kept shifting back and forth as she talked, she started nervously playing with her hands, and when she had finished talking, she didn’t dare make eye contact with either one of us, instead keeping her gaze locked on the floor.

Nicole slapped her head. “Oh, of course! The new poster design thing.” She said, lying with a lot more expertise. “Yeah, Phil talked to me about that. Yeah, fair enough. I wanna get some chips at the corner store anyway. If I come back right after I get them, will that be enough time to get the posters set up?”

At first, Megan just stared at her. Eventually, she comprehended that Nicole fell for it (or, you know, ‘fell for it’) and beamed. “Yeah, I think so.” She said both shyly and excitedly. “But we’d better start soon. C’mon, Adam.”

I looked at Megan incredulously, then turned to look at Nicole, who had a cheeky grin of her own. I opened my mouth in protest, but before I could speak, Nicole added, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll still pick you up after you two are finished. Now go make the school proud, squirt.”

Three-fourths internally laughing and one fourth pissed, I broke finally and just sighed, giving Nicole a smile of absolute contempt. She took it as a victory, her grin only becoming wider. “See you later!” She sang to us as she turned her back on us and sauntered down the hallway with a little more pride than I remembered in Nicole’s walk.

As I shook my head at Nicole’s back, I felt a hand grabbing mine. “C’mon, let’s go.” Megan cheerfully said as she practically dragged me down the halls.

“So guess what.” She said giddily as she led me down the hall.

“What, Megan?” I asked with feign innocence as she kept walking.

She turned to me and grinned. “I made the whole thing about the poster distribution was a lie! I lied so I could get you alone.” She giggled.

“No!!” I exclaimed, pretending to be taken aback.

She nodded enthusiastically. “And now that I have you alone…” She reached behind her and opened a door to what looked like a janitor’s closet. It wasn’t grubby, but at the same time, it wasn’t exactly Don Corleone’s luxurious estate.

“Um, Megan… I have several questions about this whole thing.” I told her, looking around.

“Yeah?” She asked casually, closing the door behind me as I hesitantly walked in. “Like what?”

“Firstly, not to kill the mood or anything, but didn’t we break up? Doesn’t that entail… not this?” I gestured towards her, who was already already working her sweater over her head.

She blushed, but smiled nonetheless. “Weren’t you and Nicole just having intercourse on the side?”

Of course she would use the word ‘intercourse.’ Without waiting for me to respond, she continued. “You’ve been on my mind constantly since we last did it, Adam. I don’t even care if we’re not in a relationship. You’re right, the feelings were fake. But what we did… This…” She walked forward, putting her hand on my crotch and rubbing gently, “…This is definitely real.” She gave me a small, slow kiss on the lips, and I saw her shyness leave her eyes. It’s like I woke up something in this shy girl, and damn it if I was actually thinking this, but I really liked what I was seeing. “Any other questions?” She asked me boldly, grinning as she worked her t-shirt over her head. Well, that did me in. She won me, hook, line, and sinker. Any and all of my inhibitions about screwing my ex flew out of my head as she stood in front of me no longer wearing anything above the belt except for a bra, even though I still had questions.

“Yeah, I do actually.” I said, gesturing around the room. “What’s with the closet? I mean, I complained about doing it in a classroom before, but now it doesn’t look so bad.”

She chuckled. “This isn’t a porn story, Adam. I need to be realistic.” She explained. “It’s exam time. I’m pretty sure that means classrooms will be filled with teachers marking their exams.” She reached behind her and undid her bra, freeing her B cup breasts and revealing just how erect her nipples were already. “So, anything else or do you want to remind me why I missed you so much?” She asked me, posing provocatively.

Chuckling internally, I reached forward, and began to caress her breasts as Megan exhaled in pleasure and arched her back slightly, trying to fit as much of her chest in my hands. Her hands flew to my shirt, trying to work it over my head. I stopped my massage to help her, and as soon as both of us wore nothing from the pants up, I reached forward again, this time with my mouth, and started playing with her areolae with my tongue. Of course, as I always did, at first I teased her, barely touching her nipples with my tongue, occasionally keeping her interest spiked by flicking her erect nipple with my tongue. With each flick, her moans grew more urgent as she played with the nipple I wasn’t occupying.

“Please…” She eventually moaned, as my tongue circled around her nipple for the millionth time that very session.

“Please what?” I asked her tauntingly as I took my mouth away from her tit so I could look her in the eyes, wrapping my arms around her back, pulling her in close as I felt the hot skin of her back. I savored the feeling – it was, as I had earlier said, like hot silk, and the innocent, doe-like eyes hiding an insatiable lust added to the feeling. I wanted her to make the first move, but I ended up making it myself, kissing her with so much passion I could tell that both of us were surprised by it.

Our hands were in a fury, and we were too abnormally horny teenagers to begin with. By the end of our kiss, although neither of us quite knew how, both of us were completely naked. I gazed over Megan’s body and gained a new appreciation for what I saw – the beautiful, blonde curls, the way her eyes shone in their own special way, even without her glasses (which she just took off), her fair, even, soft skin, and the way her chest heaved and her cute face gained this look of longing when she was very turned on.

“We only have a little bit of time before Nicole comes back.” Megan all but whispered.

I grinned mischievously. “Then turn around and bend over at the wall.” I commanded.

Megan moaned involuntarily as her dream of getting fucked by her ex became more of a reality by the second. She immediately obeyed, putting her bare hands on the wall, pushing her beautiful butt out at me. I caressed it as I got behind her – it was a bit of a tight squeeze, getting behind her, since the janitor’s closet wasn’t exactly roomy, but it definitely worked.

“You ready?” I asked her as I rubbed my erect member along her pussy. All Megan could do was moan and push towards me desperately in response, and it was enough of a ‘yes’ for me. Taking in one last breath, I lined my dick up with her entrance and pushed my way in.

“Oh my goodness…” Megan exhaled with delight. “I missed this.” I gave her a second to accommodate to me, and in response, she looked back at me. “What are you waiting for?” She asked me. “Take me. You know I like it rough.”

Who was I to argue? Immediately, I started to pump in and out of Megan. Moaning in pleasure, she slammed right back in to me, using the wall as leverage. The room was filled with a loud slapping sound and the sounds of Megan’s heavy breathing as we began going at it like rabbits, my hands poised around her curvy ass to give my movements even more speed.

Megan’s erratic moaning became one consistent moan as our bodies became a blur. “F-faster.” She panted. “P-please.”

There was no room for gentleness or subtlety in this encounter, as I found out. I wasn’t even sure if it was possible for me to go faster. After a few minutes, it even began to hurt. To convey how I felt, I reached up with one hand and smacked Megan’s ass, hard. Somehow, she seemed to get the memo and in response, she arched her back harder, allowing me better access to slide in and out without sacrificing comfort. I thanked her by going faster, an action I have no doubt she noticed.

Soon, her moaning became this panicked breathing, and I could tell she was close. Knowing what she liked, I began to slap her ass again, and uttered dirty phrases I was surprised were coming out of my own mouth at her, all of which just turned her on even more. Her breathing became more and more erratic until it reached an apex, and with her climax came her juices. As soon as I felt the first gush of her fluids, I pushed in all the way and let her bask in her orgasm, which she appreciated with a steady repetition of ‘Ahhh’s.

It took her longer than usual to climb back down from her high. I pulled out of her and stood by her, rubbing her shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. When she could breathe normally again, she panted, “Gosh, I needed that.”

I laughed. “Megan, you can swear if you want.”

She laughed herself and turned pink. “I don’t think so.” She simply said. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but you haven’t climaxed yet.” I didn’t respond, but my smile grew wider. “We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” She asked me, grinning seductively.

From outside the room, I could hear footsteps. Footsteps I recognized. “Adaaaam…” Nicole’s voice sang through the hall as the footsteps grew closer.

“It’s Nicole.” I whispered to Megan. “She’s back.”

“Keep quiet.” Megan told me. We huddled together as we heard the footsteps go right by the closet, disappearing down the other side of the hall.

When I figured she was far enough away, I turned to Megan and whispered, “I think I’ll take a rain check on that.” I winked at her.

She smiled at me. “I hope you will. I don’t want to stop doing this any time soon.” Megan told me. “I don’t care if you’re my boyfriend or not. I like it when we do this.” Her expression turned more serious. “And you care about me. Thank you for that.”

I kissed her slowly on the lips. “Whatever makes you happy.” I told her. We both smiled in unison.

We both gathered our clothes and put them on. Luckily, Megan’s discharge never got on them, and I think janitors were accustomed to their closet floors being wet with something or other, so I didn’t think they would notice. As soon as we figured the coast was clear, we opened the door and went out together, discovering then just at how lucky we were when we were met with just the empty hallway. As we stepped out, I checked my phone for any new messages, and as I suspected, I found one from Nicole.

Hey! I couldn’t find you around school. The posters you put up look great. 😉 I’m waiting in the parking lot.

Yup, thought so. It was gonna be interesting dealing with her on the way home. I turned to Megan. “Well, I’m gonna go find Nicole. I bet she’s in the parking lot.” I pseudo-lied. Kissing Megan on the cheek, I traced my hands down her body in an effort to tease her. She playfully pushed me away.

“Text me.” I told her, holding up my phone as I turned to walk down the hallway.

“See you later.” She cheerfully said, clearly back to her shy from now that her lust had been slaked.

***

It wasn’t hard to find Nicole’s car in the parking lot for a number of reasons. Number one, I had memorized that it was the only black Ford Focus I think I had ever seen. For another, it was blasting Take On Me by AHA.

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” I said as I stepped into the car.

“Hey, squirt.” She said, beaming. “Cigarette?”

I didn’t respond, I simply buried my face in my hands. “Alright, alright, guilty.” I said, defeated. I knew by now not to challenge Nicole on matters like this.

She laughed. “I’m surprised at you, hotshot. You sure have come a long way.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“Well, doing it with the ex you just broke up with in school is one thing.” She reasoned. “But a janitor’s closet? That’s a new level of kinky.”

“You knew?” I squeaked, feeling my face go pale. “How?”

“It’s Nicole. She’s back. Keep quiet.” Nicole monologued over-dramatically, breaking into a smug smile when she finished. “You guys seriously don’t know how to whisper.”

“Ugh.” I moaned, throwing my head back into my hands.

“Hey, it’s not so bad.” Nicole said comfortingly, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“Why not?” I asked her, peeking my head out from my hands.

“Well, for one thing, I got both regular and sour cream and onion.” She said triumphantly, holding up two bags of chips.

I chuckled. “Good call.” I said.

“My place?” She asked me, smiling. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I detected hope in her tone.

“Sure. Why not?” I answered happily. Her smile grew wider as she started the car. “But keep your shirt on.” I winked at her.

“Right. You’ve seen your share of tits for the day. I forgot.” She retorted, giving me a wink of her own.

“Oh, shut up.” I weakly, yet playfully, responded. She gave a little laugh and started driving.

“Why are you so okay with Megan and I now, anyway?” I asked her. “When we were together, you hated it. Now, you’re practically giddy knowing that I fucked her.” I didn’t mean to use such harsh language, but it kind of spilled out. I think I was starting to adopt to Nicole’s way of talking around her, like I was another me around her – a type of me that felt comfortable being open and swearing.

“It wasn’t her. I just don’t like it when you’re in a relationship. Especially a BS-y one.” She answered. “You can’t tell, but you were a lot more serious and dramatic when you were with her. It wasn’t any fun.” She made a mock pouty face towards me.

“Eyes on the road.” I told her dismissively. “What about you? Your attitude towards Phil today was… interesting, to say the least.” She only lowered one eyebrow in response. “I’m guessing you two are Splitsville too?”

“Oh, totally.” Nicole answered immediately. “I don’t know why the hell I thought this relationship would be different. Guys suck, no offense.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. I felt like she had more to say.

“Go on.” I told her.

“Huh?” She asked me. She reached a red light and looked at me quizzically.

“It doesn’t sound like you’re done.” I told her. “Like you have more to say.”

“Phil’s a bad kisser?” She joked.

“Lucky I won’t ever find out.” I joked back. Nicole certainly was a master at making me feel at ease with certain themes. “But do you want to say anything else?”

She chuckled uneasily. “Not want, no.” She said.

“If you want to say anything, say it.” I told her. “But I won’t make you say anything you don’t want to.”

Nicole nodded with a smile, then fixated her gaze back on the road. A few minutes of silence, besides the Wham! playing on the radio, filled the car before she broke. “I can’t deal being around Phil. I don’t wanna. It makes me feel… weird. Uncomfortable.”

“That’s understandable.” I said sympathetically. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

“I’m quitting Student Council.” she said, tensing up and trying – failing – to hide the look of sadness on her face.

____________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: I can’t believe how amazing you all are. When I reposted the first five chapters it looked like it got an even warmer reception than the first time, and I just want to say, thank you all so much. Once again, there’s no mention of age – for all we know even the freshmen just flunked over and over, so ha. Loophole (in the first five chapters’ author’s note, I said ‘logic loop’ like an idiot. I meant loophole). Genuinely, I hope this story and its characters brought you joy and that you liked what you read. I wouldn’t be anything without my readers, so if you got this far, I want to say thank you very much.

You probably saw this part coming, but I have a Patreon, and I’d really like to financially secure myself to the extent where I can write full-time. If you like these stories and want to get some cool perks (such as voting on what I write next and even getting a personalized character) , hop over to patreon dot com slash BashfulScribe and check out if it’s for you, I charge every written piece as opposed to month so if I can’t write for a while, you don’t have to pay. If you’re not interested, no worries. My writing isn’t behind a paywall and I will always be happy to post my work to this site for free. I just wanna make sure I can afford rent and all that.

Once again, thank you so much for being a great community. I’ll be sure to read all comments below, I hope you enjoyed the story, and I’ll be sure to post the next few chapters soon!

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