flipping chickens
Introduction:
clouds crossed the sky. it was getting darker, and so were the people as I drove further and further into the “ghetto” as they call it. there was no turning back at this point. i pulled a rocawear hoodie over my head to cover up all of my sorceror tattoos and stepped out of my car. I pulled down my pants to show off my belt buckle, which was a the blue power Ranger letting every one know not to fuck with me. I found a place with not many people and posted myself up on the corner. I hid all the work underneath a loose piece ofhte sidewalk and said to myself “time to make some money”. I meant it
time passed, and nobody had come to buy from me. i went to get some coke out of my stash so i could at least get a little high when all of a sudden a minority came around the corner. of course he started talking in bastardized english “GOD DAMN NIGGA WHAT YOU DOIN ON THIS CO’NA” suddenly i got scared. i didnt think this corner belonged to anybody. I politely told him I would leave but he wasn’t having it. i showed him my belt buckle and he scurried away. I knew it would work, and if it didn’t i always had my katana at hand. anywa,y all this commotion had drawn some attention to me and now everyone knew i was a hard ass nigga. people started coming up to me to cop. i had barely made any money when a crackhead came up to me and put a pair of her wet panties in my hand. i took a deep sniff; it was just water. “come back when youve got the real thing” i said and i waved a vial in front of her face just out of her crackhead reach. I didnt even really care because basically i just wnated to make some money today, and i was well on my way to 800 dollars so i could buy aplaystation 3. I called my friend Stan Berklowitz. he didnt want to come to such a dangerous part of town but i told him that there was a dime on the sidewalk and he was here in three minutes. I told him I needed a way to make money faster and he spouted off about eighteen different things in less than a minute. “youre pretty good with money” I said, “but at the end of the day, y’all still a faggot” and i nochalantly jump kicked him in the face knocking his yarmulke into a puddle. he started crying in a weird nasal whine so i shot him in the head about eighteen times. the crackhead came back, scooped up half of his face and started rubbing it all over her pussy. i licked my lips and got a huge boner. “come eat some of my meat pie” she shoved my head down into her crotch. i started licking and licking, but i couldnt get enough. i knocked her to the ground and shoved my tongue so far up her cunt that i could taste her cervix. i felt something weird with my tongue. it was a bag of my work. i pulled out and hit the bitch in the head. “whered you get this shit huh?” she startted crying. “huh? whered you get it at bitch? you want some more?” i pulled out a few grams. “sniff this shit up bitch, if you like this shit so much sniff some more” and i started shoving coke up her nose. she blew it out so i held a gun to her head and watched as she did bag after bag of coke. she couldnt even get anything into her nose after a while so i pulled out a a needle and started shooting coke into random parts of her arms and tits. “bet youre pretty high now, huh bitch?” i took out my dick and knocked her to the pavement. she started shaking pretty bad so i kicked her in the stomach and pulled her skirt over her ass. “damn, you look good enough to eat” i said. i forced my dick into her tight little pussy and started fucking her down into the pavement. her face was scraping back and forth and she started bleeding pretty bad, but at this point i was pretty sure she had overdosed so i dont think she cared too much about her face. i kept fucking her tight little fuckhole until i was about to cum. thats when i saw the flashing blue lights
the cop was alone. he stepped out of his cruiser, came over, turned around, bent over, undid his belt, pulled down his pants, then he pulled down his boxers, then he spread open his butt with both hands and made his starfish wink twice as if to say hello. i knew what to do. i pulled out a jar of mint jjelly i had saved from last christmas and started scooping it up into his ass. my dick slid in effortlessly, emitting a pleasant mint odor that we both enjoyed. all of a sudden my phone rang, and knowing me i had to answer it. I had just barely said hello when i saw a tear hit the pavement. Office Curlytail was crying like the little bitch he was. i handed him a jelly-filled donut to cheer him up, but when he was about to take a bite i punched it into his eyes and handcuffed his hands behind his back. it started raining so i hit him in the head with his nightstick and put him facedown in a pothole. All this time I had been ignoring my phone call and I felt like a total jerk. “heavens to betsy” i exclaimed and i quickly put my phone to my ear, but no one was there. who the fuck cares. i only had one more sale to make and then it was down to Best Buy to get that new PS3.
An hour passed and no one else came. A fat girl drove by in a dodge neon just as I was about to leave, and asked in a hushed voice “Hey, got any meth?” I did in fact have a few shards, but I told her it would be a little bit extra cause I needed the money for a PS3. She was like “I spent all my money on chew and cigs but I think I can pay you another way” and she winked at me. “why don’t you lose some weight before you ever even try to talk to me again. nice knockers though”
she started crying and i felt a little bad so I told her I was just kidding around.
“That’s… that’s not why I’m crying. It’s just that… I want that meth soooooo bad…” She snorted, something that people with no friends do when they laugh or cry. no one likes when people do that and that’s why those people have no friends. Titties McGee’s eyes brightened up when I pulled out the meth I had. “Here’s the deal: I’m gonna close my eyes pretend you’re 140 pounds lighter while you suck my dick, and if you do a good job we can send off together.” I hadn’t even finished the sentence before she turned her Fox Racing hat backwards and wrapped her lips around my dick. “My teachers always said this was the only brain I was good for” I laughed and told her to keep sucking and I called her a cunt too because I’m a mysoginist. She was actually pretty good at it but things were a little dry so I pulled out a picture of Burger King to make her salivate more. She sucked hungrily, slurping and slopping all over my dick and spilling spit everywhere. I’m not a one-minute man usually but her mouth was so slippery and soft that I was about to cum everywhere even though she had just barely started. I opened my eyes and looked at her face so I’d last a little bit longer and that’s when I saw it: a herpes sore. Shit. I pulled out my gun and tried to shoot her in the head but I had already wasted all my bullets on my friend earlier. It was too late anyway because I started cumming like a fountain. One, two, three…. a nineteen-roper! Cum flew everywhere in successive spurts knocking over lamp posts and mailboxes with reckless abandon. Puddles of my juice began to glint in the setting sun as I Was finishing. My realization came back to me and I started yelling at fatass bitch for giving me herpes. She started crying again and I didn’t want to see her pig face get all red and scrunched up again so I told her to wait while I prepared the meth. She pulled out a pipe but I told her I had my own shit. I slipped a little bit of cyanide in the pipe and set up the first hit for her. She took it without asking and started sucking before she even lit it up. i tried to reach in her back pocket to get her wallet but she was so fat that my fingers couldnt pull the pocket out enough to get in. i realized that she was dead anyway so i cut into her back pocket and opened her wallet. it was a torn postcard from Barre, VT and a bunch of pictures of ICP. this dumb bitch didnt even have any money for the meth in the first place.
I was really pissed off at this point, like i couldn’t even control myself. I was just about to go home in a huff when i noticed someone mean mugging at me. he was just sitting across the street making the weirdest faces at mea nd for all i know he had been doing it for like ten minutes. i went over to fight him, with my shirt pulled up over my belt, and i pulled out a Naruto wallscroll to let him know I meant real business. I showed him one little wallscroll and my mom got scared and said “You’re movin’ with your uncle and auntie in bel Air.” I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, The license plate said “fresh” and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, But I thought “Nah forget it, yo homes to Bel Air.” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby “Yo homes, smell ya later.” Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. After staying in Bel Air for a while I got a little bit bored and went back to New York. PS3’s a great system, much better than social interaction in my opinion
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If thats the the way you live in US thank God I dont.
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